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The 401k decision is a good one, especially if you're paying that much in taxes. You want to reduce your taxable income as much as possible.
Don't listen to the haters. Putting the money away early is the most important thing. You can't get the years back or "catch up" later.
$100k/year isn't much, especially in your situation. I'd agree you can't afford an M3 right now unless you have a bunch of money hidden somewhere with no purpose.
Keep doing what you're doing. I put the max in my 401k ($16,500) yearly and also but $5k in an IRA. Saving for retirement is no joke.
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