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DO NOT do what's suggested about regarding financial reasoning. That will likely offend them more than any other reasons b/c you're knocking them for tough times they're having. It's also saying, you're a really good friend and i value our friendship, but you can't be in my wedding b/c your strapped for cash. Horrible reason to give.
It depends on how your relationship with the friend that didn't choose you for his is and whom were his groomsmen? If it was mostly family and friends he knew longer than you then it's understandable why he chose them.
I've stood in 15+ weddings in my life. I'm not engaged, nor close, but I already know who my groomsmen will be based on the weddings I've stood in. So trust me when I say there will be mild-drama one way or another.
As far as family goes, only chose siblings. Unless you are very close with other relatives. You're bound to offend someone, but most should understand. And if you feel guilty about it explain it to them or find other ways to fit them in somehow at the wedding/reception. You shouldn't feel obligated to do this though.
How many groomsmen are you having? I've been in weddings with such a wide-range?
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