[Mosaud1998]

Originally Posted by e90335e36m3

It IS that easy...and you're already doing it. Your parents want you to follow the traditional immigrant path to success, which is a graduate level of education followed by a white collar job, preferably doctor or lawyer. I don't know whether this is explicitly stated in your family or not, but regardless of the amount of $$$ that you earn in your current salesman role, your parents will always view it as a blue collar hustle, one they won't be able to brag about to their immigrant friends whose children are curing cancer. I'm sure your sister is their pride and joy even if she will ultimately make 1/2 of what you do. That's what they value.

Attainment of $$$ is what you value most and there is nothing wrong with that. In just about every thread you meticulously break down your sales / salary for all to see. We're proud of your accomplishments at 23-24.


You've already made your choice and are going after what you value, not what your parents value. So again, it IS that easy and you're already doing it. I don't buy this whole, how do I tell my parents I don't want to do XYZ and escape their bonds. Same goes for moving out of the house before marriage...you just don't want to yet, when you do you will. Deep inside, I suspect it's because you just want to save your $$$, not because you wish to honor tradition or your parents.

Like others have said, the higher you want to go, the more important education becomes, even if its value is only on paper. If all the other GMs have MBAs, but you don't, you're probably not going to get the job, in car sales or elsewhere. Continuing education will make you more marketable and will open up other avenues for you. It needs to be said, education does not equal intelligence, but it opens doors.

Ohh trust me my sister is there pride and joy. They brag about here everywhere. But in reality, she's not smart. She doesn't know anything out of her field. She admits it. She comes to me for help when it comes to real-world stuff.

I think I just need a break from school. Ever since I was in elementary school, school was slapped at me. Summer school, workbooks, and stuff during the summer. They also sent me to Kumon Learning owned by ofc Asians. Went there for 2 years and learned nothing. Waste of money. They were teaching me shit 6 years old need to know. My parents would always ask me how school was but never how I'm feeling inside or mentally. Always school school school.

I don't want to be like every Asian. Going to school and not knowing anything else. I wanna be that Asian kid that is successful without college making 6 figures and happy with his life.

[shimmy23]

At some point you we'll decide what is most important to you, and your parents will EVENTUALLY understand that too. I'm Asian as well but 5th generation. I didn't grow up with these typical Asian parent pressures. But I do feel that this is your parents way of loving you and pushing you in the direction they know will have the best outcome. Sounds cliche but they will always want the best for you and will always love being your parent. Have you ever had a good talk with them about why they came to America? I'm sure somewhere in that story you can relate and then they can relate to how you feel. This is America!!! Do what makes you happy.
There are other good, great or excellent outcomes from the route you choose to pursue. It's up to you. Try to do what you like and love. Your salary won't keep you going when lifes challenges are thrown your way, so dont rely on that as a measure of happiness or success.

Also that being said, there are plenty of non management jobs that offer high salaries with a degree. Management is not for everyone and I don't know why every young bloke wants to be a manager. Think bigger on your end on why they want you to get a degree. Lots of good advice in this thread too

[unluky]

Parents will treat you like an adult - when you act like one. Don't read that to mean you are being childish - you are not. But when someone accepts being talked to like a child - it encourages more.

You need to look them straight in the eye the next time it comes up, with no passion or anger whatsoever tell them "I am adult and this is my life. I will make my own choices and if you do not care for them, then I will just limit my time with you." After you have made yourself clear - if they persist, then you need to leave when the subject comes up. They will understand that you will not tolerate it anymore. They got to make their life choices - now it is your turn.

Now.......all of this has to hinge on you being 100% self-sufficient. Do you live with them? Do they pay a single bill for you? If they answer to any of those are yes - then handle that part first. Again - no one if going to see you as an adult and capable of making your own decisions if you are still attached to the tit in anyway.

Does college make life easier? You bet. Is it necessary? Nope. I see people push their kids into HUGE amounts of debt so they can tell their friends that little Johnny is in college at XXX. It makes me sick. Its a degree - not a flex.

I was lucky - I started a business in high school with a buddy and decided to stick with it when we graduated and push college off. I learned a TON running that business and our crew. The industry it hinged on left the state and we decided not to move with it, but I was immediately hunted by a business and have been in my new industry ever since. I have ran S&M departments for 3 different companies in my career and made a lot of money. Is my path the norm? Nope. But it proves if you work your ass off - the piece of paper no longer matters.

I say I was in school of types - the school of life. While our high school classmates were in college partying and studying - we were running jobs, applying for permits, hiring/firing, etc. When my friends came out of college they had a piece of paper and zero work experience. I had 4 years of running a business.

And in my industry - I can name 3 Asian guys who are in marketing spots like mine for other companies. 2 I consider good friends. Don't ever let someone else tell you what you can or can't do. Use it for fuel and stick it up their butts. You can literally do whatever you want if you are willing to do the work.

[e90335e36m3]

Originally Posted by Mosaud1998

Ohh trust me my sister is there pride and joy. They brag about here everywhere. But in reality, she's not smart. She doesn't know anything out of her field. She admits it. She comes to me for help when it comes to real-world stuff.

I think I just need a break from school. Ever since I was in elementary school, school was slapped at me. Summer school, workbooks, and stuff during the summer. They also sent me to Kumon Learning owned by ofc Asians. Went there for 2 years and learned nothing. Waste of money. They were teaching me shit 6 years old need to know. My parents would always ask me how school was but never how I'm feeling inside or mentally. Always school school school.

I don't want to be like every Asian. Going to school and not knowing anything else. I wanna be that Asian kid that is successful without college making 6 figures and happy with his life.

Ouch, man. Your sister showed some serious dedication to finishing a PhD program. That deserves respect, and if I had a child, I would be very proud of that achievement. Accept that people value things differently, there is no wrong or right here, unless what you value is immoral or illegal.

Personally, pride notwithstanding, I would encourage my child to follow a path that is most likely to result in a stable, sustainable career, and generally careers in science, engineering and medicine provide that level of stability, because face it, they're harder to get into. Conversely, everyone can try to be a salesman, doesn't mean they will be good at it, but they can try.

Fact is, you're in a far more risky career than what your parents are pushing, but if you're willing to accept that risk and place more value on being happy in your career more power to you.

[DocL]

I know a lot of very successful people, both with and without higher education degrees. One person I know grew up on a farm and didn't go to college. He recently sold a business he bought with a loan for $50k 20 years ago for $120mil. He learned a lot from his mentors along the way.

I went to school for 21 years. I will never make $120mil in my lifetime.

[e90335e36m3]

Originally Posted by DocL

I know a lot of very successful people, both with and without higher education degrees. One person I know grew up on a farm and didn't go to college. He recently sold a business he bought with a loan for $50k 20 years ago for $120mil. He learned a lot from his mentors along the way.

I went to school for 21 years. I will never make $120mil in my lifetime.

I think that misses the point. The fact is, educational attainment correlates to higher salaries. Then, certain careers correlate with greater stability, even higher salaries and so forth. Are there successful uneducated people? Absolutely, nobody says there are not. Unless you are one of those rare cases, and it's very difficult to know, it's incumbent on you to set yourself up for success using conventional methods, or take a higher risk because you want to do what makes you happy.

[Alfisti]

I think you need to grow a pair, tell the folks you love them but you are moving out and you see a great career ahead in auto sales and related industries, mostly because you love it and it won't feel like work everyday and will pay damn well enough to raise a family with a little help from the wife one day. So see ya guys, I am off to sort my shit out, i'll be over every sunday to watch some football and mooch a lunch.

You need to harden up a bit tbh.

[DocL]

Originally Posted by e90335e36m3

I think that misses the point. The fact is, educational attainment correlates to higher salaries. Then, certain careers correlate with greater stability, even higher salaries and so forth. Are there successful uneducated people? Absolutely, nobody says there are not. Unless you are one of those rare cases, and it's very difficult to know, it's incumbent on you to set yourself up for success using conventional methods, or take a higher risk because you want to do what makes you happy.

Paying for an education is similar to taking out a loan to buy a business. I took out loans for graduate school. My parents offered to loan me the same amount of money to invest in a McDonalds franchise almost 35 years ago. I made the wrong decision.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by DocL

Paying for an education is similar to taking out a loan to buy a business. I took out loans for graduate school. My parents offered to loan me the same amount of money to invest in a McDonalds franchise almost 35 years ago. I made the wrong decision.

How much was it to invest in a McD franchise 35 years ago?

Today it's in the $2 million range.

[Mosaud1998]

Originally Posted by unluky

Parents will treat you like an adult - when you act like one. Don't read that to mean you are being childish - you are not. But when someone accepts being talked to like a child - it encourages more.

You need to look them straight in the eye the next time it comes up, with no passion or anger whatsoever tell them "I am adult and this is my life. I will make my own choices and if you do not care for them, then I will just limit my time with you." After you have made yourself clear - if they persist, then you need to leave when the subject comes up. They will understand that you will not tolerate it anymore. They got to make their life choices - now it is your turn.

Now.......all of this has to hinge on you being 100% self-sufficient. Do you live with them? Do they pay a single bill for you? If they answer to any of those are yes - then handle that part first. Again - no one if going to see you as an adult and capable of making your own decisions if you are still attached to the tit in anyway.

Does college make life easier? You bet. Is it necessary? Nope. I see people push their kids into HUGE amounts of debt so they can tell their friends that little Johnny is in college at XXX. It makes me sick. Its a degree - not a flex.

I was lucky - I started a business in high school with a buddy and decided to stick with it when we graduated and push college off. I learned a TON running that business and our crew. The industry it hinged on left the state and we decided not to move with it, but I was immediately hunted by a business and have been in my new industry ever since. I have ran S&M departments for 3 different companies in my career and made a lot of money. Is my path the norm? Nope. But it proves if you work your ass off - the piece of paper no longer matters.

I say I was in school of types - the school of life. While our high school classmates were in college partying and studying - we were running jobs, applying for permits, hiring/firing, etc. When my friends came out of college they had a piece of paper and zero work experience. I had 4 years of running a business.

And in my industry - I can name 3 Asian guys who are in marketing spots like mine for other companies. 2 I consider good friends. Don't ever let someone else tell you what you can or can't do. Use it for fuel and stick it up their butts. You can literally do whatever you want if you are willing to do the work.

I mean, I pay my half of the car insurance, my medical bills, still live with them, and yeah.

[e90335e36m3]

Originally Posted by DocL

Paying for an education is similar to taking out a loan to buy a business. I took out loans for graduate school. My parents offered to loan me the same amount of money to invest in a McDonalds franchise almost 35 years ago. I made the wrong decision.

Yes, it's an investment. I agree the decision to go to grad school isn't just go vs. no go, I am oversimplifying it somewhat. It needs to be carefully thought through.

[stevenc]

Sounds like you are making good money. Tell your parents you want to give this job a chance and you will consider going back to school in a year. If you are clearing 6 figures a year from the sales job, they cant complain too much.

[wtwo3]

I totally get the living with them until you're married cultural aspect. Same held true for me - again typical Asian mentality. Unless I got some major career opportunity in another city, me moving out before marriage would have been seen as a huge slap in the face to my parents.

I'm not gonna lie though, the 4 years I was away for undergrad were some of the best moments of my life. In my mind, college wasn't so much about education, but more about the life experience of being on my own, handling my own things, learning things I would not have learned just living with my parents. That experience alone made it worth it, and if you can do it without incurring major debt, even better.

From your responses you definitely still seem to be a bit green. And I don't mean that in an insulting way - you're killing it for a 23 year old. But you definitely have to evaluate for yourself (and not for your parents) what your best course of action is in life - keeping in mind that we're talking about the rest of your life. Having a college education isn't necessary, but it's a damn good security blanket compared to not having one. And that college experience is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

As for dealing with your parents - I don't have a great way to answer that other than my earlier comment of trying to tune it out. I'm now 35, married with a kid, have a successful career, and I still get shit from my parents. So it never stops, and I don't think it ever will. They're too set in their ways, and I think lots of Asian parents are the same. So from that angle the only thing that worked for my own sanity was tuning things out - because in the back of my mind I knew I was doing what was best for me and my future.

[Mosaud1998]

Of topic, but I just sold a car to a guy out in Florida. He just put a $3k deposit down. Going to be mailing in a check. Working on another deal right now.

[DocL]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

How much was it to invest in a McD franchise 35 years ago?

Today it's in the $2 million range.

To be completely honest I don't remember. But today the cost for my education is $1.25 million.

[kwarden13]

I’ve read this whole thread and honestly you sound a bit immature. The first thing you should do school or not is move out of your parents house. Also, I would find a way to go to school part time and keep your job. Think of it as an insurance policy in case you need it later in life. Millions of people make this situation work and all I see you offer in the thread is complaints and reasons why you can’t move out or go to school and work. You don’t seem to have many responsibilities…

Also people say you don’t need a degree which is true. However if 100 people apply for a job and they need to filter for candidates, ppl without a degree will be cut. Also if the job is between someone with a degree or not and all else the same, the person with the degree gets the job. So while you don’t need one, it sure is helpful. My aunt in another industry has 25 years of experience but no bachelors. She was recently laid off and could not find a job. Guess what she’s doing at the age of 55? Getting her bachelors!

[BMWILUVU]

College does not guarantee anything and nowadays its ridiculously expensive. You can make alot of money in a career you are in now maybe move to a luxury make. Oh and do what you love to do, you have a good chance to make more money in the long-run doing what you love and be alot happier too. The whole parent thing goes away when you can politely hangup the phone but that means you need to move out. Until then, you need to politely consider and listen, thank them for their advice, nod because they are your parents but then go ahead and do what you decide with all the input.

[Mosaud1998]

Originally Posted by kwarden13

I’ve read this whole thread and honestly you sound a bit immature. The first thing you should do school or not is move out of your parents house. Also, I would find a way to go to school part time and keep your job. Think of it as an insurance policy in case you need it later in life. Millions of people make this situation work and all I see you offer in the thread is complaints and reasons why you can’t move out or go to school and work. You don’t seem to have many responsibilities…

Also people say you don’t need a degree which is true. However if 100 people apply for a job and they need to filter for candidates, ppl without a degree will be cut. Also if the job is between someone with a degree or not and all else the same, the person with the degree gets the job. So while you don’t need one, it sure is helpful. My aunt in another industry has 25 years of experience but no bachelors. She was recently laid off and could not find a job. Guess what she’s doing at the age of 55? Getting her bachelors!

How do I sound immature?

It's not easy as an Asian to move out of my parents us just like that.

Read @wtwo3 comment.

[Mason Hatcher]

Originally Posted by Mosaud1998

How do I sound immature?

It's not easy as an Asian to move out of my parents us just like that.

Read @wtwo3 comment.

Of course it is. You are making excuses and arguing with those who are trying to help you. Feel free to ignore the advice, but it is stupid to argue with us.

For those reasons, I'm out

[bayarea328xit]

If you've been in car sales for less than a year, you may have a skewed view of the business. The car sales market is not in a steady state given the chip shortage and pent up demand from the start of COVID in early 2020. I don't know if I would form a long term career strategy based only on data over the last year.

Someone else mentioned the evolution of car sales - both new (a la Tesla, TrueCar, etc.) and used (Carvana, etc.). As autonomous vehicles come into play (say in 5-10 years), the way people use cars will change - I'd expect car ownership to decline. These all impact your career trajectory if you decide to stay in car sales for 10+ years.

Car sales tend to have large shifts every few years. If you don't have the savings to outlast these periods or switch to a different source of income during these shifts, you may have a really hard time making ends meet.

Not sure if this applies to you/your family: if you are not getting a STEM degree or preparing for a professional degree (doctor, lawyer, etc.), I would never take a loan to go to college. The return on investment ($ and time) is likely not there.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by bayarea328xit

If you've been in car sales for less than a year, you may have a skewed view of the business. The car sales market is not in a steady state given the chip shortage and pent up demand from the start of COVID in early 2020. I don't know if I would form a long term career strategy based only on data over the last year.

Someone else mentioned the evolution of car sales - both new (a la Tesla, TrueCar, etc.) and used (Carvana, etc.). As autonomous vehicles come into play (say in 5-10 years), the way people use cars will change - I'd expect car ownership to decline. These all impact your career trajectory if you decide to stay in car sales for 10+ years.

Car sales tend to have large shifts every few years. If you don't have the savings to outlast these periods or switch to a different source of income during these shifts, you may have a really hard time making ends meet.

Not sure if this applies to you/your family: if you are not getting a STEM degree or preparing for a professional degree (doctor, lawyer, etc.), I would never take a loan to go to college. The return on investment ($ and time) is likely not there.

This is awesome advice and absolutely the proper way to evaluate your career. You want to be forward looking if you're going to select a certain career path.

That being said, it should also be mentioned that sales skills you earn on the job now are absolutely transferrable to other industries - with a bit of learning curve. But at that point you have to ask yourself - what is it about your current job that you love. Is it being around cars, or is it the sales aspect of it? And could you imagine yourself getting into sales in a different industry? These are the types of questions you should be asking yourself as you think about how you want your career to progress. More often than not, how a career progresses is part self driven and part by chance.

[chassis]

Mosaud1998

Great topic, thanks for posting it.

Live on your own. Pay your own rent. Shop for and cook your own food. Do your own laundry. Clean your own toilet. You are putting yourself in a box with the statement that you can’t live on your own unless you’re married.

Do what you like to do and are good at. This seems to be selling cars. There is a growth path to manager, that’s good. You can sell other things that make you more money, later in your career.

You tried engineering school and chose not to continue. Good job that you tried it. Time to move on.

To your original question, say to your parents these exact words, “Mom, Dad, I want to set aside some time with you to talk about me taking hold of my own life. When are you available in the next day or two to have this discussion?” They will likely be elated to hear you speak these words. Face to face, not via text message.