❯ Tao of badass
| 06-07-2012, 12:30 AM | #23 | |
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Vrooom :)
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| 06-07-2012, 03:49 AM | #24 |
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If you ain't first, you're last!
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Stop fapping to porn, drop the blow up doll and go talk to real ladies. I'm gonna write a book too. Look at me, look at me school is for fools
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| 06-07-2012, 09:47 AM | #25 |
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My fellow dicks,
While I have my morning cup of tea in my office before another day wasted in meetings about shit I can care less about let me educate and elaborate and pontificate. First and foremost understand one major fact of life; We men age like fine wine, we enrich, we deepen, we rarify we just become better. While 99.99999% of women will age like a cut flower. Now please don't confuse the above with misogyny, it's just a fact of life. Fire hot, water wet, ice cold, men horny and women age like crap. So off the bat the war is ours to win IF WE DO NOT FUCK UP! Educate yourself, establish yourself and know yourself and the world and women will be yours. To sum it up, go over and look at the cute girl you would step over your own mother for...you know who she is...now think what she will look like when she is 30, 40 and 50. I assure you very few women look as good at 30 as they did when they were 20 and don't even talk to me about 40 or 50. Regardless of how much she works out how hard she tries to eat well gravity is constant. To add insult to injury the average girl is bat shit crazy! She has no clue WTF she wants even though she says she knows what she wants. Ever see a girl bitch and moan about how much she hates dating a given type of guy yet within 24 hours be happier than a fat white chick watching Opera that she found another guy....who is exactly like the type of guys she bitched about. So here is a great example, I have this friend E. She has been dating for a good 33 years of her 33 years of existence. She wants a guy who is; established, educated, has a job, likes cats and wants to have kids. Simple enough, though she seems to date men who are; unestablished, uneducated, do not have jobs, hate animals and are baby daddies. Thus I decided to experiment a little, I knew the exact type of guy she wanted. Girl bitches nonstop about not being able to find the perfect guy...i know the perfect guy...how about I introduce A to B and see what happens..... Guess what happened? She came up with a million and one excuses as to why she was not interested in the guy my favorite one was "He's too perfect" Now here is a girl, 33, had an education has a job has a good head on her shoulders but couldn’t get her head out of her ass..... And do you know who she dated next? A guy who was; unestablished, uneducated, do not have jobs, hate animals and are baby daddies. So at best women have no clue wtf they want, at worst they are dangerous about not knowing what they want! Ok off to a meeting I'll tell you more when I have more time. |
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| 06-07-2012, 10:22 AM | #26 | |
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| 06-07-2012, 10:53 AM | #27 |
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Douchenozzle.
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Sub'd for shah269's awesome writing and entertainment at work!
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| 06-07-2012, 02:09 PM | #28 |
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Ok now I'm having my after lunch cup of tea. Thus my pontifications will continue.
So to recap we have come to agree that a vast majority of women are bat shit crazy and are in need of some major therapy. This was exemplified by the story of my friend E who bitched about what she could not find but when she found what she wanted walked away. This is something we men do not do, we know what we want we know if we find it we will shut up and smile and enjoy life. Thus why my therapist drives an E class and owns three homes and paid for all of it in cash! 99% of her patients are women. So now that we have this figured out let's figure you out shall we! The key to getting ladies to love you. Cock and balls! Now you may giggle at this thought but let's be honest deep down we are nothing more than animals . Hell one layer of clothes down we are nothing more than animals. Regardless of our ability to pick our own noses and write our names in the snow using our piss we are very primitive animals. That is to say we have freaking eyes and basic desires. You like long legged, flat bellied, perky boobied amazing assed hotties because all those features indicate a healthy woman who may provide you healthy offspring. This indicates your chubby chasing friend is a freak of nature and needs to be slapped upside the head! Nothing in nature chases a fat chick! Other than engineers and chubby chasers. Now what does your average mentally deranged girl want in a man...note I used girl...girls never grow up to be women trust me on this. Be it 18 or 55 they are all at about the same IQ when it comes to mating and men. She wants Mick Fucking Jagger! Now ask yourself this if Sir Mick (he hates being called that) were a cab driver would he get laid? You better bet your Jumping Jack Flash! So why does Mick get so much ass? Sure it could be money....but let's face it there are those with more who are not banging Brazilian underwear models like it's their part time job. So what it is? I'll give you a hint...what Sir Micky has is what Elvis had and it's what Bowey has and what all the rockers have...and the rappers have...say money again and I'll punt a puppy into a blender! What they have is that they stand the hell out in a crowed. Now you may giggle like a little Japanese school girl (stop that shit we are men we don't giggle we laugh) when I say this but you need to stand out in any place any time. And how do you do that? Well you can barrow your dads 7 series paint it bat shit gold and slide into the front of the club like Gay Bat Man...only to evaporate into the crowed at the bar....or you can just dress like the Joker and get more ass than Bat Man kicked in his last movie! Still dim? Call me Prometheus and allow me to eliminate. Take your ass to the local bar, club, café or StarFucks. Check out all the dicks you see there....don't look gay ok (though there is nothing wrong with that I love my gay friends for they are the world's best wingmen!)...notice that they are all wearing rather dull colors such as blues and gray's and even black. That’s a sea of dicks right here! It's time for you to the Cock in Peacock! (bitch you better not be giggling!) Dress to impress, bright clothes scream "look at me bitch! You want to jump on my face and let me guess your weight! And if you don't hurry the hell up your friend may beat you to it!" yeah that's right, before going out to a pub, club, bar or other ask yourself what would Austin Powers rock? Bright colors! Why? Simple as long legs, flat bellies, perky boobies and amazing asses signal that this girl you are talking to is of fine breeding stock...and do you want to introduce her to your stalk! Bright colors indicate that you as the man have good DNA and are a good COCK! Now I'm not saying show up rocking something Sir. Elton Johny (he loves it when you call him Sir). I'm saying go to Express, find a shirt that fits your shoulders well, is a color other than white or black and rock it with a well fitting pair of jeans and a nice set of shoes and a big fat shit eating grin on your face that says "Bitch, I'm going to flirt with you for about 5 min and then spend the rest of the evening talking past you to your less attractive friend." Ok tea is done, meeting begins in 15min. It's Thursday you all better have plans for the evening. I know I do, It's yoga night for me which means two hours of yoga class and a strut through the local Sushi slaughter house where I'll be walking in wearing a purple short sleeved shirt, jeans, thick brown belt and rocking my yoga mat like the sick man that I am drinking my Miso and saying "Mi so" to any of the cute girls who sit at the bar next to me. Last edited by shah269; 06-07-2012 at 02:14 PM.. |
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| 06-07-2012, 02:39 PM | #29 | |
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| 06-07-2012, 02:46 PM | #30 | |
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| 06-07-2012, 04:05 PM | #31 |
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nice write-up, that shit cracked me up! I think we just all got an amazing deal on the shahoflove e-book
Last edited by Rookie83; 06-07-2012 at 04:13 PM.. |
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| 06-07-2012, 04:52 PM | #32 | |
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Douchenozzle.
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QFT, definitely using these tips and tricks next time I am out at a bar, at my office, at school pretty much anywhere.
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| 06-08-2012, 08:53 AM | #33 | |
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As i have time at work i'll write more for you guys. |
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| 06-08-2012, 10:56 AM | #34 |
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OK so let's recap here shall we.
1) Women are bat shit crazy and have no freaking clue what they want in a man. And what they say they want is not even close to what they want. (fun drinking game, every time a woman says she wants a man with a sense of humor, drink a shot) but it's not their fault. I'll explain in this thread. 2) You are a dumb ass thinking rocking the all black look makes you stand out in a crowded bar. I don't care if your car had seats made of elephant foreskin if you are invisible in a bar no one from the bartender to the girls will notice you. The black on black and looking suave look only works in movies where the bar is quiet and the lighting is perfect. Today we will talk about women. My major is mechanical engineering.....i hate engineers long story not for here....but my minor is psychology and sociology. And I'm guessing like most web pages dedicated to cars this place is 9/10th's dicks? With that; you cock sucking dumb fuck piece of shit moron what the fuck is the matter with you I shit things with higher IQ than you and odds are it smells better to no go home and kick your own as! Offended? Odds are not. You are giggling again aren't you? WE talked about that don't make me come over there and kick your ass! We are men we don't giggle! My entro into the understanding of women came when I was an exchange student in Bolivia and met my mentor my brother my man Pablo. Pablo turned me from a pathetic man to one who could walk up to any girl and say "Hi". It wasn't easy I was a real mess. One of the things he taught me about dating and meeting women was that it's all a fucked up numbers game. Here is how it works, those who flirt the most get the most, those who flirt the most get the least and those who flirt the least should just go home. Confused? I was. And here is why you as a COCK are confused. You lack a VAGINA! And don't have to deal with the SHIT women have to deal with 24/7. Still confused? It's ok you got a dick. Let me clarify; Brows before........ho's right? Ok would you as a man ever throw your buddy under the buss? Would you EVER as a man talk bad about your buddy? Would YOU AS A DUDE EVER back stab a buddy? Fuck and NO right! Why!? Because we are fucking men and that's what fucking men do! We cover our bro's! That's why you were not offended by what I called you at the start of this post. Now think of the worst thing you can say about a woman? The worst thing you can say? Odds are her BFF has said much worse about her to all of her friends about her BFF. Now I know what you are thinking...Shah you lying sack of shit why are you saying this shit? Well I said the same thing to my Master Pablo. Until he proved it to me. We knew these two girls who were friends since they could shit. Took one out to dinner, what did she do...bitch about how her friend was a slut. Then we took the other one out a week later...and guess what....you got it...entire dinner bitching about how her friend is a slut! Now you tell me how can a woman ever really speak her mind about what turns her on and what kind of man she likes if all of the ladies are ready willing and able to cut each other's throats? Thus why if you ask any girl what she wants in a guy and there are other women around...within the same time zone she will give you some BS answer about "nice guy with a sense of humor." She is playing it safe....until one day she forgets what the fuck she wanted in the first place. So you as the COCK are fucked! You will never ever know what she wants or if you are her type or not or how freaky she may or may not be in bed. And to add insult to injury if you are her type and you do say hi she will HAVE TO PUT UP her BITCH SHIELD just to prove to her fat fucking friends that she is not a slut. FYI the most insulting thing a woman can call another woman is SLUT. Thus you have to flirt with all of her friends to get her to put her bitch shield down. And the best way to do it is to flirt with her for about 5 min and then start flirting with her fat fucking friend who hasn't seen a cock in more years than you have been alive. For this fat land whale is the "shield generator" it is she who is so pissed off and upset that he radiates bitch and back stabbing motherfucker of the bunch. You want to flirt flirt right! Hit on the girl you like with a simple "hi" and "how are you" and then go for her fat friend and then after about 30min go back to the one you like for 5 min and then back to the fat friend. The fat friend for the first time in her useless life will feel "pretty" and the cute one who you like will be jealous and start doing everything in her power to get your attention. Sure you may not get laid that night, but after you got her number you will get laid the next time you see her in two weeks or so because her fat fucker of a friend who when she goes to the beach is pushed into the sea by GreenPeace won't stop talking about how great you are. Now I have a meeting to go to. And remember you are not shallow, you are discerning. You are not a misogynist, you just know better. |
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| 06-08-2012, 11:07 AM | #35 |
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First Lieutenant
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 very well said!! alot of what you have said in the past couple posts is exactly what this book is about. thanks for taking the time for a funny as hell but well informed post |
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| 06-11-2012, 11:42 AM | #39 |
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Guys I'm not that special. I'm just a man who happened to be at the right place at the right time to have been taught the right things by the right people.
And please don't confuse my message with misogyny. Think of me as Prometheus. I've been there I've don that and I may even have the T shirt. So I'm having my morning tea and let's recap shall we? 1) Women are bat shit crazy and have no freaking clue what they want in a man. 2) You are a dumb ass thinking rocking the all black look makes you stand out in a crowded bar. 3) Women will fuck each other every chance they get for no apparent reason other than it makes them feel superior. Today we are going to talk about wing men, women and other. It takes massive cock and balls to be a lone wolf in the world. No man is an island and no dick can exist without balls. So going out meeting women should not be a solo event. The ladies call the lone wolves in the bar "creepy" and may be confused with stalkers. So let's pick your wing buddy. Here is a good list of wing buddies; your brother, your cousin, your well to do friend, your not so well to do friend or your chubby chaser friend and let's not forget that odd Asian / East Asian friend who is really awkward around women and rocks skinny jeans and watches anime. Here is a list of great wing buddies; me, your best female friend, your female cousin, your gay brother, your brothers gay friend, your gay cousin, your friend who can start a conversation with any one at any place. Here is how it works, remember the part about women wanting to kill each other for no apparent reason? Well you need a wing man because the engine of this hate is the fat bitch who can't get a hot beef injection if her life depended on it! And what do fat chicks like more than a hot beef injection or an all you can eat challenge? Gay guys! Yeah! The fatties love the ****! And so should you! You see my good men, in this world there are three things that the ladies love. 1) Men who dress well. 2) Men who are loving and caring and understanding. 3) Men who their fat fucking friends like. So you want to dress well, bitch you better not be looking at those skinny jeans and thinking you are a hipster! You will need someone to dress your sorry ass. In walks your gay friend who knows just what to rock all the time. See unlike us straight guys who spend a good 99.999999999% of our time getting laid gay guys only spend 1% of their time getting laid. For them it's easy "Hi I'm horny and you are cute, let's go out on a date and have fun." Yeah don't you wish women were this straight forward! Sadly unless you are willing to go gay you have to deal with that fucked up brain attached to vagina. So use your gay friends closet to look good! Note #1 Next thing your gay friend has that your straight friend does not is a plethora of *** hags and fruit flies. *** hangs and fruit flies are gods gift to man after he gave us the ability to piss standing up and looking better with age. You see *** hags hang out with gay guys thinking that maybe just maybe one will reconsider his love of dick. See what did I tell you the bitches are crazy and are always trying to change men...more on this later. That said *** hags love guys who are friends with their gay male friends! And you my good friend are a well read well educated well dressed open minded guy. Note #2 bitches! Now the token fat chick is like the token Latino/African American/Gang Banger poet found in every single freaking movie about the inner city. Why do we have them? I don't freaking know! Maybe it's because it makes the others look better? Who know? But what I do know is that cute girls love their token fat chick because nothing makes a girl look better in any item of clothing like her fat friend! But there is a catch. Her fat friend has a mouth. And with that mouth she does nothing but talk and bitch nonstop! And then she starts drinking and become a fat sloppy drunk screaming at you about how much she hates you because you are hitting on her hot friend and not fucking her. And who wants to fuck a fat chick? Don't look at me! But your gay friend...well he can keep her talking about shit no one cares about while you talk to the cute one! And eventually the fat chick will love you and your gay friend! Note #3 As for a wing woman? Yeah good luck with that. Though it sounds like a good idea and it can work odds are the chick will get drunk and you will have to carry her home or at the bar the other ladies will think you two are a couple. Only way a wing chick works is if you are in a group of them...aka wing chicks! So to recap, don't go to a bar dressed in camo, stand out even if it is a bright white button up shirt and choose your wing man/woman wisely. |
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| 06-11-2012, 04:37 PM | #41 |
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Having my late afternoon tea in an empty office before I check out of here to go pick up my car from the dealer. So to recap;
1) Women are bat shit crazy and have no freaking clue what they want in a man. (we will talk about this today) 2) You are a dumb ass thinking rocking the all black look makes you stand out in a crowded bar. (you dressed like shit, until you made some gay friends who let you barrow their clothes.) 3) Women will fuck each other every chance they get for no apparent reason other than it makes them feel superior. (Why so many women prefer to hang out with us dicks than to hang out with those chicks.) 4) You are only as good as your wing man/men/women to defuse that bitch shield and help the girl who actually likes you and wants to talk to you to talk to you without fear of her fat friend from calling her a slut behind her back. (note 1 and 3) Now let's talk about the general state of affairs, read these rules. And if it made you contemplate; slitting your own wrists, becoming an alcoholic, becoming a monk or just saying fuck it and going gay....I'm here to help. Yeah it took me this long to get to the point. Don't like it too bad. All the above is crap. Yes women are nutty, yes they don't know what they want, yes their best friend are willing ready and able to shove a knife into their best friends back at any moment. Yes you should dress well and yeah you should be open and accepting of others be it gay straight black white or blue. That's just life. The crux and underlying truth is that you are a man. You may rock lip gloss, guy liner and pink polo shirts and fist pump and spray tan and get your eyebrows done but you are a man. You do all this shit to get a girls attention or to attract them. Good. Note #2 about not being a wall flower. But truth be told you will get shot down more times than you will get picked up. Show me a man who is good with the ladies I'll show you a man who gets rejected 90% of the time! In the end it's all a fucked up numbers game. But fear not, it's a numbers game you will win. Remember when I said that we men age like fine wine and women age like cut flowers? Well it's true. Every time a woman rejects your "Hi I'm (fill in the blank)" pick up line don't kick yourself or feel down. In 30 seconds another cute girl will turn 21 and you will have another shot and the one you just got rejected by starts panicking. I know it's hard to believe but it's true. You are a finite commodity. If you have a job, an education, take care of yourself and are well spoken and well read you are a finite commodity. Tits ass and a cute smile...nature pops those out like china pops out Ipods. Sadly much like Ipods they seem to age just as fast. And then things change, much like puberty but better. This past Saturday I was on a blind date with a girl who was 33-35. Who I'm sure was very attractive when she was 22 and rejecting guys like it was her job. But sitting across from me was a 30 something woman who was easily 30lbs too heavy, clothes by TJ Max and make up by Bozo the clown. And so we were sitting and this woman spent an entire evening and a great meal talking about how she likes to "change" her man, as if she had the capital to even suggest it? Is it me or is that like buying a Bentley and slapping a spoiler on it or mixing a great glass of walker black that I was sipping with red bull. No wonder my therapist friend paid cash for her E class the world... is mad. She was a Diva, a woman who is writing checks her looks can't cash anymore. Will there be a second date? Odds are not in this life time. Did she text me right away when she got home to thank me for the dinner and ask if I was free next week? Yes. Will she text me again today? She did. Will I keep her as a friend? Will I ever see her as more? Fuck and...NO! Why? Simple I'm a man, I'm a finite commodity. I'm a six figure ****** with good education, a good job, darn good looks and later today a kicking car. I'm sorry....why would I even entertain the notion of being with such a woman? And you my good friends should see the world the same way as I do. We will have our wins and we will have our losses but in the long run we always win the war and if we are so lucky maybe we shall win it in finding our soul mates. Now the floor is open for questions. |
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| 06-11-2012, 07:12 PM | #42 |
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What is the sound of an empty auditorium? j/k
1. How do you reconcile being a 'player' and finding the one, or do you believe in such? 2. Honestly how many girls have you screwed? 3. What were you doing on a blind date with a fat 33yr old? 4. Is it wrong to shoot for 90% success rate rather than 90% failure rate? I don't think I have time to get rejected 90% of the time, I would have to be hitting on 9-10s most of my waking time. 5. Is it wrong to seek sexual fulfillment online as a better use of time, rather than spend hours chasing girls for a few seconds of glory? Thanks. |
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| 06-11-2012, 07:46 PM | #43 |
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shah269 speaks the truth in such an entertaining manner.
personal experience csb: i've never been a "go out and get a girl" type of guy. I usually meet girls through mutual friends and other indirect situations, until one day I said FUK it. I went to a club just to compete with my friends to see who could get the most numbers. Out of about 40 girls I got 7 numbers. One of those 7 numbers ended up being a fake number (or I wrote it wrong) but it really is a numbers game! Also, I accidently hit on one of the girls friends that I previously hit on and she even said "weren't you trying to talk to my friend earlier?" and she STILL gave me her number! Then again, I was at a club so maybe not the best place to find a legit girl  |
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| 06-11-2012, 08:50 PM | #44 | |
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