06-03-2019, 02:15 PM | #45 | |
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I have to hire a new one. I seriously need one.
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06-03-2019, 02:27 PM | #46 | |
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06-03-2019, 02:45 PM | #47 | |
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This is pretty accurate this time around.
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06-03-2019, 03:43 PM | #49 | |
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K. The story is bubbling out anyway. I seriously need to tell it to someone.
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06-03-2019, 04:36 PM | #52 |
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50+ posts and no pics
wtf is the offtopic coming to?
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06-03-2019, 04:52 PM | #53 | |
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All typed up. Go read.
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06-03-2019, 06:22 PM | #57 | ||
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This is a paste from the thread, edited. "Okay, so... Fast recap. My sister has been down, and to cheer her up, i tried to make her build a wall with me, to go nuts with a drill hammer and all, but she really wanted a seriously girly night. I knew I was fucked. I booked us a spa day, then skipped it because my kitchen door mysteriously fell off and I had to build a wall to its place (and then a new door next to the original). Insane shit but I hate people touching me, so spa is no place for me. Anyway, the word got out, and our old friends, even my husband wanted in on the night, we tend to go nuts when ever, every three years or more we do this... I had eight pairs of heels and a ton of dresses packed and all, my friend is divorcing his shoe whore wife so he sent me all her new ones to piss her off. I thought that would be a great gift for my sis. I did the whole freaking out over dresses bit, my shoulders fill a door to frame better than a dress. One could say I've pumped up my muscle mass lately and thanks to my water feature project, i was somewhat covered in black goo... I seem to have a supernatural ability to know when a night will be a disaster. This one had my dasterometer on red from the start. We had a sitter for the kids, my husband was joining us for the very first time and all (15 years in, he just saw how much I was freaking out in my not so subtle way). In the end, there were eight of us going, 6 of them more hairy than fairy. We even had glitter hair spray for the guys so they could enjoy the full experience! Around six pm, my sister was picking me up on her way back from the spa. The plan was to take our dogs for a small walk in the woods, then leave them with the sitter and get blasted while our mutual friend did our hair, before the guys joined us. Not even 50 yards from the car, we parked to my aunt's summer houses (plural) driveway, i spotted a boar. A pup. I didn't even call for the dogs, i took my sisters hand and dragged her to the car before I called for the dogs. The cabin is seriously on city grounds by a huge lake, secluded, but people are around the area all the time because our laws state anyone can wander around any woods, any time. Wild boars are a new thing in Finland. They're pretty fucking dangerous and you have to report them if you see them within a city. Since it was the end of the schools weekend, no authority gave a fuck, they told us to go tell the people near by that a sighting had been made. A baby, nothing less. Well, all the neighbouring summerhouses are owned by my relatives. I did minimum effort. So we drove to my home, went around my relatives to let them know what I saw, since those are the people who own the land, i reached some of them. My aunt had taken off her hearing aid and she was having a nap, at 7 pm. Hubby had gone to the gym, so we left the city limits. First time for me in a year basically. I was going 40 km in a wrong direction. We got to my sister's home, opened a bottle of wine, she had a glass, then a second while I was processing the first. This became a theme later. At 9 pm, 15 minutes before our hairs dresser was supposed to show up, my aunt called me. "You're in Ylöjärvi now? Well, apparently someone broke into my cottage, i need a good camera to take pics for the report. Can you help me, this is scary." It's like ... destiny... I shouted at her (still no hearing aid) that she needs to stay absolutely put, and she needs to inform the person who checked on the cabin that I saw a boar there not two hours earlier, and that I will use their skins as carpets if any of them disobeyed me and went there without an adult that was not under 70 years old. The guys were driving through a tunnel when we started calling them to go back to tampere. When we reached them, it was too late for them all to turn back (schools ended Saturday) so they left my husband to a taxi pole. "You're not fucking going there if you don't take an axe with you. I can't get a cab from here in two hours, I'm sorry." He was fine with it, i mean, he really wanted to witnes a girls night out, where his wife was counted a girl but letting my living relatives be eaten by a boar, as good as it would be for us, made him feel bad. At this point I was eating so I could get the one glass of wine off my system to drive there but though I could've driven legally, this is the hill I'll die on. No drinking and driving. Hubby called an hour later, around ten, that he got home, and he got my friend's dog and an axe and my aunt packed in a car and that they're driving to the cottage. He even told me to go get drunk, he'd join us after he handled it. I mean, how hard can it be? Keep the elderly protected while you take a few pics of the break in? IT AIN'T THAT FUCKING HARD!!! It is. It is that hard. I drank a second glass of wine, and a third one, my sister and our friends were having a ball, i was wearing a dress even at that point, since the black goo had been cut off from my hair and I found one I could fit in to. I kept trying to call the hubby and the aunt... neither of them had any service. Around midnight, we left to a bar, a local, since the traffic to tampere was still bad, we couldn't get a taxi. Around 1 am I had had enough. You don't go check on a cabin that has been broken into, after a fucking boar sighting and you don't call back, or show up. I found a cab, it was in front of a bar and all... jumped in. The cabbie spoke basically no Finnish but he spoke fluent German which I didn't at that point. When we got to our yard, i jumped out after telling him, and this is a rough translation. "Wait here, please, i must go get my axe if we need to to the woods" In German. Again, all loonies are out in that weekend. While I ran to the house, and found my husband happily sleeping in our bed, the taxi guy took off, with my wallet mind you, and with my phone. So, the next morning, after I shouted at the hubby for an hour for not letting me know he, and all others were okay, went like this. I spent 2 hours on the phone with said taxi company, hell, i took their supervisor to the bloody (not a good word here) cabin so I could show him that I was not going to try my axe murdering skills on the driver. In the end, he was laughing his head off, which really didn't make me feel any better, i told the driver I had seen a wild boar there, but his fluent German translated it to me thinking of him as a wild boar. I wore heels fro an hour. Almost caused a panic for our local drivers and ... The next morning, a mildly pissed off Anna shouted at her aunt who never keeps her phone on, and the hubby, who just thought he didn't need to inform me at all since he was handling it, all the fucking day long. So, that was my night. How was your Saturday?" Btw, my sister had the night of her life. The old crew was boozing it all say Sunday, while I was shouting at home. She has new shoes and a ton of party dresses. I showed up to a girls night out. She can't complain.
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06-03-2019, 07:08 PM | #58 | ||
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Update was posted, it all happened. My husband has been very silent, even by his standards while he has been hauling around furniture. I blew up our kitchen, that's how mad I was. (I laugh while hiding. The whole fucking panic over shoes and dresses, especially when made a thread about it, none of them reads this forum, and then the end result being what it was... well, hilarious.)
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06-03-2019, 07:28 PM | #60 | |
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Hey, i had to hide the disaster some way! Word poisoning was legit.
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06-04-2019, 07:41 AM | #62 |
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That was a good story. E for entertaining.
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06-04-2019, 10:24 AM | #63 | |
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06-04-2019, 10:51 AM | #65 | |
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