[obLu]

when a girl says "give me some time." and she is out there with some other guy, but say "you are still my boyfriend", what the hell does that mean?

From an old guy that's lived through plenty of this school yard bullshit ... the sad thing is you still meet a lot of people that never outgrow it.

1. Dude, you just got upgraded.

2. She's too meek to come out and tell you straight up so she's trying to take the easy way out, hoping that you'll eventually figure it out on your own.

3. You tell me, is she also low self esteemish enough to worry about not having a man in her life so she's keeping you on the hook as backup?

4. If #3 is true, that's not the kind of woman you ever want to be involved with. Women who always have to have a man on the line are trouble that never ends.

5. Man up. It's football season and snowboarding season is right around the corner. Get together with the buddies to play some video games. Start working major overtime. Whatever it takes to keep yourself occupied so that you can start seeing that it's possible to have fun without this chick around. Cause garownteed you're not gonna have any fun with this chick around even if you do get back together.

[shimshimhada]

Pics or ban.

[MIKEYMIKE]

Originally Posted by lux.sh

yeah yeah another Lux's corny thread regarding relationship issue..
but last time you guys really supported me so I thought I'd do it one last time.
so if you guys can give me some serious advice for the last time, I would really appreciate it.

Some of you might remember what happened. well, things been really rough for me. Its been so hard that I have trouble sleeping. (and trust me, Im one of those "I don't care if someone is pointing gun to my head, don't wake me up while Im sleeping" person.) I literally couldn't sleep at ALL without soaking myself with alcohol. and I FRIGGIN' hate drinking. so you can kind of guess what the hell is going on. As "Friends" said it, "He is still in Phase 1" - Joey to chandler. I don't even really post in E90POST anymore and you know Im a post whore.

anyways. long story short, when a girl says "give me some time." and she is out there with some other guy, but say "you are still my boyfriend", what the hell does that mean? Am I supposed to just move on and forget about her or give it my best shot to bring her back?

I just don't know what to do. and I need to know what I have to do NOW, because the only way I can forget her is by moving the F out of this place. I've spent too much time and shared too many memories with her in this place past 4 years. Every f'king where I go and every direction I look, we've done something together there(I guess she doesn't see it that way ). There is no way I can stay and be cool seeing her every other day. I even thought about just dropping everything here and go to Korea for few weeks to take a break, freshen up, come back, and start everything over. but I don't want to make a wrong decision now and later realize that she was willing to work it out.

man this shit is so hard and complicated. :mad: Sorry for the long post guys. I had to vent.
Someone come over and give me a serious bitch slap so I can wake up from this bad dream.

Ok, you spent 4 years with this chick. You're attached bit time.

Obviously she doesn't feel the same way about you and she broke up with you for that reason. You're so in love with her that you're completely tripping out now that she's broken up with you, and she doesn't give a F*CK, dating other guys and what not.

Forget this girl man, there's soooooooooooooooooo many other women out there. You are way more into her, than she is into you.

Do whatever you gotta do, but your relationship with this chick is done. Don't mean to sound harsh, thats just the truth. Maybe it's not a bad idea to go on vacation for a bit, get your mind off things, mess around with some other women.

Goodluck man!

[BMW F22]

here's the goddarn truth: we can give Sean our opinion but it's still up to him to figure out what he wants to do. After 4 years with a woman it's hard to get over her, no matter how strong the man is.

It's not so much that she left him for another dude. It's more like he's missing the routine. Now he's gonna wake up every morning and realizes that she's no longer with him. Maybe he used to call her after work or before he went to bed. Now that's just a thing of the past.

I think everyone has to go through something like this at one point in their life. It's what you learn from it that counts- and dont let it keep you down.

[lux.sh]

Since there are quite a lot of posts, I won't quote individually.. but I read every single one of them and I really appreciate them all. Thank you for the advices.

so every single one of you guys are suggesting that I should move on because she already moved on..

Well I met her today briefly. We went out for a quick lunch. It was quite surprising she actually called back to me. She never picks up my call since this started. I wanted to meet up and say whatever I thought about all night last night.. but when I saw her, I completely forgot everything. It was nearly like meeting a "new" girl that you've known for longest time(if that makes sense to any of you). Once we got to talking and joking however, things got better. We even kissed when I dropped her off. Just a quick kiss, nothing much at all.

I felt like I was back in life. Then, the way she looked at me felt like... she felt bad for me. She acts so natural. She probably knows what Im going through since I just look like shit these days(you can usually tell by looking at the person). Like some of you said, maybe she is too meek or nice to tell me straight up of whats going on through her mind. maybe not. maybe she is giving me signs to move out of her life. maybe she just doesn't care much at all. maybe not.

goddamn. all these 'maybe's are stabbing me every hour. I need to find a way to refresh myself..

[Ray]

Love is tough, bro. No need to rush into anything or make any irrational decisions and I'm sure you know what's best for yourself.

[aapriadi]

Originally Posted by lux.sh

Since there are quite a lot of posts, I won't quote individually.. but I read every single one of them and I really appreciate them all. Thank you for the advices.

so every single one of you guys are suggesting that I should move on because she already moved on..

Well I met her today briefly. We went out for a quick lunch. It was quite surprising she actually called back to me. She never picks up my call since this started. I wanted to meet up and say whatever I thought about all night last night.. but when I saw her, I completely forgot everything. It was nearly like meeting a "new" girl that you've known for longest time(if that makes sense to any of you). Once we got to talking and joking however, things got better. We even kissed when I dropped her off. Just a quick kiss, nothing much at all.

I felt like I was back in life. Then, the way she looked at me felt like... she felt bad for me. She acts so natural. She probably knows what Im going through since I just look like shit these days(you can usually tell by looking at the person). Like some of you said, maybe she is too meek or nice to tell me straight up of whats going on through her mind. maybe not. maybe she is giving me signs to move out of her life. maybe she just doesn't care much at all. maybe not.

goddamn. all these 'maybe's are stabbing me every hour. I need to find a way to refresh myself..

i wish you the best of luck, sorry there's nothin much i can do here to help

[Josh49]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! WE TOLD YOU TO MOVE ON AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!

[canucklion]

lux, bro, that's just her way of keeping you on the hook, really, I've seen it too many times.

But in the end, only you can make the decision, good luck bro

Originally Posted by lux.sh

Since there are quite a lot of posts, I won't quote individually.. but I read every single one of them and I really appreciate them all. Thank you for the advices.

so every single one of you guys are suggesting that I should move on because she already moved on..

Well I met her today briefly. We went out for a quick lunch. It was quite surprising she actually called back to me. She never picks up my call since this started. I wanted to meet up and say whatever I thought about all night last night.. but when I saw her, I completely forgot everything. It was nearly like meeting a "new" girl that you've known for longest time(if that makes sense to any of you). Once we got to talking and joking however, things got better. We even kissed when I dropped her off. Just a quick kiss, nothing much at all.

I felt like I was back in life. Then, the way she looked at me felt like... she felt bad for me. She acts so natural. She probably knows what Im going through since I just look like shit these days(you can usually tell by looking at the person). Like some of you said, maybe she is too meek or nice to tell me straight up of whats going on through her mind. maybe not. maybe she is giving me signs to move out of her life. maybe she just doesn't care much at all. maybe not.

goddamn. all these 'maybe's are stabbing me every hour. I need to find a way to refresh myself..

[Josh49]

Originally Posted by canucklion

lux, bro, that's just her way of keeping you on the hook, really, I've seen it too many times.

Yup.. Same here..

My best friend in college I warned a million times to stay away from this one girl (my gf's housemate) and she did exactly what we all said she would do to him. It's like, hey, I feel bad for you but we warned you at least a thousand times to stay away. That girl was such a cvnt.. She pulled the same games Lux's girl is pulling on him.. And just ruined and toyed with my friend until he had nothing left.. And then she dumped him and moved on with the other guy she was with at the time..

/end of belligerent rant..

[txusa03]

She just want your car lux...j/k

[obLu]

Well I met her today briefly. We went out for a quick lunch.

Wow man, you like the pain.

Hey, here's an even better idea; Go out drinking with the guys, get hammered and call her up at 2am to tell her how much you miss her.

[nmulax]

Originally Posted by obLu

From an old guy that's lived through plenty of this school yard bullshit ... the sad thing is you still meet a lot of people that never outgrow it.

1. Dude, you just got upgraded.

2. She's too meek to come out and tell you straight up so she's trying to take the easy way out, hoping that you'll eventually figure it out on your own.

3. You tell me, is she also low self esteemish enough to worry about not having a man in her life so she's keeping you on the hook as backup?

4. If #3 is true, that's not the kind of woman you ever want to be involved with. Women who always have to have a man on the line are trouble that never ends.

5. Man up. It's football season and snowboarding season is right around the corner. Get together with the buddies to play some video games. Start working major overtime. Whatever it takes to keep yourself occupied so that you can start seeing that it's possible to have fun without this chick around. Cause garownteed you're not gonna have any fun with this chick around even if you do get back together.

This is so true.
She's over you and moving on; but she's not strong enough to end it with you... instead she'll give you the quick kiss after lunch as a glimmer of hope, so you won't realize it's over. In her mind, she's letting you down softly, but in reality, she's effing with your emotions and dragging you along.

END IT. Cut her out of your life. Hang out with buddies, hit the gym, take on more projects at work, pick up a hobby. Whatever works for you, but you need to get your mind elsewhere. The busier you are, the less you'll dwell on her, and the sooner you'll realize that there are other, better girls out there.

[MrSilver]

Originally Posted by nmulax

This is so true.
She's over you and moving on; but she's not strong enough to end it with you... instead she'll give you the quick kiss after lunch as a glimmer of hope, so you won't realize it's over. In her mind, she's letting you down softly, but in reality, she's effing with your emotions and dragging you along.

END IT. Cut her out of your life. Hang out with buddies, hit the gym, take on more projects at work, pick up a hobby. Whatever works for you, but you need to get your mind elsewhere. The busier you are, the less you'll dwell on her, and the sooner you'll realize that there are other, better girls out there.

So painfully true.

[Explorer3253]

Originally Posted by lux.sh

Since there are quite a lot of posts, I won't quote individually.. but I read every single one of them and I really appreciate them all. Thank you for the advices.

so every single one of you guys are suggesting that I should move on because she already moved on..

Well I met her today briefly. We went out for a quick lunch. It was quite surprising she actually called back to me. She never picks up my call since this started. I wanted to meet up and say whatever I thought about all night last night.. but when I saw her, I completely forgot everything. It was nearly like meeting a "new" girl that you've known for longest time(if that makes sense to any of you). Once we got to talking and joking however, things got better. We even kissed when I dropped her off. Just a quick kiss, nothing much at all.

I felt like I was back in life. Then, the way she looked at me felt like... she felt bad for me. She acts so natural. She probably knows what Im going through since I just look like shit these days(you can usually tell by looking at the person). Like some of you said, maybe she is too meek or nice to tell me straight up of whats going on through her mind. maybe not. maybe she is giving me signs to move out of her life. maybe she just doesn't care much at all. maybe not.

goddamn. all these 'maybe's are stabbing me every hour. I need to find a way to refresh myself..

Hey man..Trust me when I say this. I know 100% how you feel. I've been there and have finally moved on. You NEED!!! to walk away!! I had someone who i had for 5 years. And she pulled the same stunt on me. Telling me she needs time to figure all this out while she was doing things with someone else. It tore me to shreds! This happened October of last year. I was just about over it when I told myself I have words I want to say to her, so in June I called her up and told her how I've been feeling. Like you, I too felt the comfort come right back to us..the joking, laughing, cuddling, everything felt so right!!! I thought you know what...Let me give her one more chance. She swore up and down she still loved me and wanted things to go back to how they once were. I believe her like a fool! Well guess what..they didn't. Nothing changed. She went back to the motherland for a little while and I thought maybe that would help both our causes....It didn't. I checked up on her and found out that she was making all the effort to talk to the other guy but not me....Since that day, I never looked back. Never spoke to her again. I blocked her on AIM, E-mail and renamed her name on my phone to DO NOT ANSWER!! I'm sure shes tried to email me and got a THIS USER IS NOT ACCEPTING YOUR EMAIL message. At the end of the day..it hurts alot! I know it does...But trust me and everyone else WALK AWAY!!! I recently met this girl and have been talking to her for a few months, and I can't be happier! She has alot of the same personality quirks that I liked about my ex except this girl is all about me. She thrives off of my hapiness and I feel the same for her. Rememeber...after your ex...you now know what you DON'T want and what you WON'T accept. Move on...and you will be happy

oh yeah..one more thing...heard last week my ex may be pregnant....tell me this 5 months ago and i probably would have been on the floor crying. My reaction was... "oh" You will move on!! I thought i NEVER would...but i am soo much happier now.

[MIKEYMIKE]

^
This man speaks the truth,, actually everyone who's telling you to move on does.

[sungmin]

jeez you invest so much of your life into this girl, and now you know it wasn't such a hot tip. i think this scenario is what happens as a rule, not an exception. lol.

the first thing you need to do is change your attitude. you might be a weak person. and in any facet of life, if you approach it this way, you will not win or be happy. you need to be the boss of your life, not your gf. if you value a girlfriend this much, well thats your business, but you gotta expect to see this BS coming.

imo, you shouldnt be so dependent on one person. thats a foolish way to play life. the only sure thing you have and will ever have is yourself. remember that.

[lux.sh]

Originally Posted by obLu

Wow man, you like the pain.

Hey, here's an even better idea; Go out drinking with the guys, get hammered and call her up at 2am to tell her how much you miss her.

Come on obLu, give me a little break here man. I've been throwing up everything I eat and dropping weight like crazy. I probably slept 3~5 hours in past 5 days combined. Im obviously not in the right state of mind..

Originally Posted by nmulax

This is so true.
She's over you and moving on; but she's not strong enough to end it with you... instead she'll give you the quick kiss after lunch as a glimmer of hope, so you won't realize it's over. In her mind, she's letting you down softly, but in reality, she's effing with your emotions and dragging you along.

I have a quick question about that. Why would she drag me along? so I get tired of it and eventually break myself away from her? thats what she truly wants? wow, because if that is true, she is one mean girl. I don't think she is THAT evil..

Originally Posted by Explorer3253

Hey man..Trust me when I say this. I know 100% how you feel. I've been there and have finally moved on. You NEED!!! to walk away!! I had someone who i had for 5 years. And she pulled the same stunt on me. Telling me she needs time to figure all this out while she was doing things with someone else. It tore me to shreds! This happened October of last year. I was just about over it when I told myself I have words I want to say to her, so in June I called her up and told her how I've been feeling. Like you, I too felt the comfort come right back to us..the joking, laughing, cuddling, everything felt so right!!! I thought you know what...Let me give her one more chance. She swore up and down she still loved me and wanted things to go back to how they once were. I believe her like a fool! Well guess what..they didn't. Nothing changed. She went back to the motherland for a little while and I thought maybe that would help both our causes....It didn't. I checked up on her and found out that she was making all the effort to talk to the other guy but not me....Since that day, I never looked back. Never spoke to her again. I blocked her on AIM, E-mail and renamed her name on my phone to DO NOT ANSWER!! I'm sure shes tried to email me and got a THIS USER IS NOT ACCEPTING YOUR EMAIL message. At the end of the day..it hurts alot! I know it does...But trust me and everyone else WALK AWAY!!! I recently met this girl and have been talking to her for a few months, and I can't be happier! She has alot of the same personality quirks that I liked about my ex except this girl is all about me. She thrives off of my hapiness and I feel the same for her. Rememeber...after your ex...you now know what you DON'T want and what you WON'T accept. Move on...and you will be happy

oh yeah..one more thing...heard last week my ex may be pregnant....tell me this 5 months ago and i probably would have been on the floor crying. My reaction was... "oh" You will move on!! I thought i NEVER would...but i am soo much happier now.

Was it hard for you to get over her? what the hell did you do to wrap it up? how long did it take..? Man, people shout out "move on" like its easy as flushing down the toilet...

Originally Posted by sungmin

the first thing you need to do is change your attitude. you might be a weak person.

I won't say im the strongest person in the world, but when I allow myself to "attach" to something, I don't know how to "detach" myself from it. yep, huge problem I have to solve in my life.

[Explorer3253]

Well basically it took me about a year to get over her.....Why? B/C it took me that long to find someone else. It was the HARDEST THING I EVER DID!! (to get over her / breaking up). I didn't sleep for a while...(dont usually admit this..but heck..shed many tears too)...didn't go to work one day...didn't do work alot of the times when i was at work...lost appetite..it was bad! i know exactly how you felt..it really is tough...

best thing for you to do? Go out! Go out with your friends as much as you can. I have great friends who took me out alot to make me get her outa her mind...they let me talk about her the first few weeks..heck even months..but then they told me enough is enough! but seriously..go out with your friends..have some drinks...talk to girls! enjoy it!! I look back and i dont mind being single as much b/c i had alot of fun going out and becoming closer with my friends. Yes..i missed having someone to call all the time...or hold..or sleep with..or catch a movie with (i didnt watch movies for a year...i made up for it in the past 2 months..lol)

for me..to wrap it up...i just realized how horrible of a person she was! you may think ures is great and she is confused..f that!! no offense but shes a piece of crap just like mine was! if she cared about you..she wouldnt have put you through this..she wouldnt be talken to another guy...mine was talken to another guy...i had the feeling the whole time...she kept tellen me she loved me and all of a sudden she just stopped calling and picken up her calls blaming cingular saying her calls wont go thru(till this day i HATE cingular)...i finally had enough and broke up with her....few weeks later she told me how much she loves me and wants to work things out...i go on to hi5 (sorta like my******* and see some dude toungen down my girl at the time! (i hit rock bottom then).... believe me when i telll you this!! your "girl" will tell you over and over how much she cares baout u and needs a little time or is confused..blah blah blah..shes full of it..at the end of the day..think about it..would you do this to her!??! i doubt it!! u love her and u'd do anything to make sure she doesnt feel an ounce of pain..she should be giving u this in return... if you want to get better...get rid of all the pics..everything!! i threw everything that was hers into a box and duct taped it...I had many memories in my old car...I sold it and bought the e90...the irony was...My anniversary was 10/23.....We broke up on 10/7..Car went up for sale on 10/8...My car was sold on 10/23/05 (OUT WITH THE OLD...IN WITH THE NEW!!)..picked up the e90 on 11/23 ....(eh..just a lil irony that i thought was funny..noone else would pick up on it..lol)

long story short....i know "move on" is a phrase overly used..but you must do it if you want to find someone special!!!! trust me..you will...i know i have!

[lux.sh]

Originally Posted by Explorer3253

Well basically it took me about a year to get over her.....Why? B/C it took me that long to find someone else. It was the HARDEST THING I EVER DID!! (to get over her / breaking up). I didn't sleep for a while...(dont usually admit this..but heck..shed many tears too)...didn't go to work one day...didn't do work alot of the times when i was at work...lost appetite..it was bad! i know exactly how you felt..it really is tough...

I can feel ya on that one.

best thing for you to do? Go out! Go out with your friends as much as you can. I have great friends who took me out alot to make me get her outa her mind...they let me talk about her the first few weeks..heck even months..but then they told me enough is enough! but seriously..go out with your friends..have some drinks...talk to girls! enjoy it!! I look back and i dont mind being single as much b/c i had alot of fun going out and becoming closer with my friends. Yes..i missed having someone to call all the time...or hold..or sleep with..or catch a movie with (i didnt watch movies for a year...i made up for it in the past 2 months..lol)

I get out, and every place seems like I've been with her. Im trying to go to places that doesn't remind me of her.

for me..to wrap it up...i just realized how horrible of a person she was! you may think ures is great and she is confused..f that!! no offense but shes a piece of crap just like mine was! if she cared about you..she wouldnt have put you through this..she wouldnt be talken to another guy...mine was talken to another guy...i had the feeling the whole time...she kept tellen me she loved me and all of a sudden she just stopped calling and picken up her calls blaming cingular saying her calls wont go thru(till this day i HATE cingular)...i finally had enough and broke up with her....few weeks later she told me how much she loves me and wants to work things out...i go on to hi5 (sorta like my******* and see some dude toungen down my girl at the time! (i hit rock bottom then).... believe me when i telll you this!! your "girl" will tell you over and over how much she cares baout u and needs a little time or is confused..blah blah blah..shes full of it..at the end of the day..think about it..would you do this to her!??! i doubt it!! u love her and u'd do anything to make sure she doesnt feel an ounce of pain..she should be giving u this in return... if you want to get better...get rid of all the pics..everything!! i threw everything that was hers into a box and duct taped it...I had many memories in my old car...I sold it and bought the e90...the irony was...My anniversary was 10/23.....We broke up on 10/7..Car went up for sale on 10/8...My car was sold on 10/23/05 (OUT WITH THE OLD...IN WITH THE NEW!!)..picked up the e90 on 11/23 ....(eh..just a lil irony that i thought was funny..noone else would pick up on it..lol)

long story short....i know "move on" is a phrase overly used..but you must do it if you want to find someone special!!!! trust me..you will...i know i have!

No matter what people say(my friends told me the same thing), she is still not a crap to me. Did she lie to me? Yes. Did she meet another guy? Yes. Did she betray me? Yes. Is she avoiding me? Yes. Is she having fun while Im sad as hell? Yes. Do I have plenty of reasons, more than enough reason to just get plain mad, madness that is so big that you can just forget about her? Yes.

Whats funny? She called me yesterday night and we had a brief conversation. Nothing big, just casual talk like "what did you do today?". We hung up after like few minutes. Really, it was nothing at all. but that little "normal" conversation that we haven't had for a week made me go to sleep. I finally got to sleep for more than 6 hours for the first time in days. Then she went out again with her "friends" today, but oh well. Its pathetic, I know. Everyone around me tells me im being stupid, there are plenty girls out there, blah blah.

Bottom line, she already stepped on me, drained my little bottle of pride out to the river, laughed her ass off about me to other friends, but I still want to stand by her side until she tells me to jump over the cliff. Thats when I will jump. I will get myself ready though. Im not a moron. Moron for love, yes, but not as a person.

I really appreciate your comment. All of you guys are helping me foresee whats coming ahead of me.

oh and about the car, good choice.

[txusa03]

Originally Posted by lux.sh

I won't say im the strongest person in the world, but when I allow myself to "attach" to something, I don't know how to "detach" myself from it. yep, huge problem I have to solve in my life.

we cannot help your here, maybe you should see a shrink...

You need to get a grip on your feeling. You let her control you emotionally and it will wreck havoc on your life (many folks have mentioned that). You said it yourself, you are not emotionally stable at this momment and if you keep this up, you end up being a psychotic maniac. Cut the cord.

[Explorer3253]

btw lux.....whats with the quotes in the signature...don't get walked all over!!!