[CollinsE90]

"The 'perfect' girl can destroy you if you aren't careful"

[Wakka]

Holy balls can i relate to this fucking thread. I've fought for 3 months to try and get my girl back, found out shes been seeing another guy while we've been talking/working this bullshit out over the past 3 months. Cant say im over her, but i just found out she plans to spend NYE with him (Go fucking figure i kinda expected it... just hoped shed have changed her mind by then) and i know on that night ill never be able to look at her the same after.


F bitches get $ seriously dude they are all cumdumpsters in my eyes.

[immiketoo]

Originally Posted by Wakka

Holy balls can i relate to this fucking thread. I've fought for 3 months to try and get my girl back, found out shes been seeing another guy while we've been talking/working this bullshit out over the past 3 months. Cant say im over her, but i just found out she plans to spend NYE with him (Go fucking figure i kinda expected it... just hoped shed have changed her mind by then) and i know on that night ill never be able to look at her the same after.


F bitches get $ seriously dude they are all cumdumpsters in my eyes.

Yeah, I have been doing much the same thing because she told me she wasn't doing it for another guy, that she really needed some time etc., etc. Then I get this phone call and everything she told me was bullshit. I've never had a problem meeting women, but I'm tired of dating and all the BS surrounding that scene. Just when I think I finally found someone that had all the things I need in a relationship, I get this. It almost makes me want to pull a skinnycow and not care anymore.

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by immiketoo

Yeah, I have been doing much the same thing because she told me she wasn't doing it for another guy, that she really needed some time etc., etc. Then I get this phone call and everything she told me was bullshit. I've never had a problem meeting women, but I'm tired of dating and all the BS surrounding that scene. Just when I think I finally found someone that had all the things I need in a relationship, I get this. It almost makes me want to pull a skinnycow and not care anymore.

From someone who is in the exact same situation as you, im telling you right now... dont do that.

I went in to my relationship not giving a fuck, i was hurt from my last girl and my mind had put up this wall. a wall where nothing would bother me, i didnt give any fucks. That was also what ruined my relationship with this girl... I didnt give her the attention she deserved, i didnt treat her how she should have been treated. she waited a year for me to snap out of it, and i didnt until she left me. Now shes getting stuffed by some other guy and what the fuck am i to do? Cry about it? Try and be her friend? Put the wall up again?

No, im going to learn from my mistake and just wait for the perfect girl this time, im not gonna fuck it up either. Trust me man... do yourself a favor and dont jump into another relationship, not till you are ready. If you find a really cool girl tell her that you need some more time before you can start dating. Express to her that she is awesome and you dont want to pass her by, but you just need some time.

also i havent tried yet, but i would imagine finding a FWB would help monumentously.

EDIT: If said cool girl is worth it she will wait for you, if she doesnt... she wasnt that cool to begin with.

[K-M3]

Originally Posted by immiketoo

That is an accurate point. I have decided that you are all correct in this matter. I do NOT hate her despite the pain and heart break. I actually feel sorry for her. I wish things were different, but they aren't and that's that. This has actually made it easier for me to see the truth. And that my instincts are accurate.

[radix]

Sorry to hear this happened to you Mike. If this is anything like the usual story, it usually works like this...


1. Girl thinks she's got guy figured out, and interest starts to wane, or she starts to try to make you jump through hoops and control you.

2. Guy wonders why her interest is disappearing, why she seems more distant.

3. Guy takes action to try to keep her "happy". That action might include jumping through the hoops mentioned in #1. These little tests can be the smallest fucking things too.

4. Girl interprets those actions as dependence or compliance which further drives girl away.


The real problem stems from #1, but #3 just makes it worse. If ever you feel a woman you're interested in slowly pulling away from you, pull away harder and faster than she does. Never ask them "what's wrong?", or try to bargain with them, ever.

In your particular case it doesn't matter if you want to be with her or not, pull away. Be as distant as possible for a good while. If you're confidence or pride was damaged by this, then just use this as a time to put every last one of your ducks in a row. There are probably things you've been putting off that you can turn your focus to.

Even if you still love her, it's probably better you don't talk to her until YOU feel like you're going to be unaffected by it.

[radix]

Short version, don't be a control freak, but don't ever give up the proverbial reigns either. Never ever? Never ever!

[radix]

Also, if a she ever says "Well, it just kinda happened", that translates to "I planned that shit." Just sayin'

[B.Hallowell]

Radix just became my hero.

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by radix

Sorry to hear this happened to you Mike. If this is anything like the usual story, it usually works like this...


1. Girl thinks she's got guy figured out, and interest starts to wane, or she starts to try to make you jump through hoops and control you.

2. Guy wonders why her interest is disappearing, why she seems more distant.

3. Guy takes action to try to keep her "happy". That action might include jumping through the hoops mentioned in #1. These little tests can be the smallest fucking things too.

4. Girl interprets those actions as dependence or compliance which further drives girl away.


The real problem stems from #1, but #3 just makes it worse. If ever you feel a woman you're interested in slowly pulling away from you, pull away harder and faster than she does. Never ask them "what's wrong?", or try to bargain with them, ever.

In your particular case it doesn't matter if you want to be with her or not, pull away. Be as distant as possible for a good while. If you're confidence or pride was damaged by this, then just use this as a time to put every last one of your ducks in a row. There are probably things you've been putting off that you can turn your focus to.

Even if you still love her, it's probably better you don't talk to her until YOU feel like you're going to be unaffected by it.

Originally Posted by radix

Short version, don't be a control freak, but don't ever give up the proverbial reigns either. Never ever? Never ever!

Originally Posted by radix

Also, if a she ever says "Well, it just kinda happened", that translates to "I planned that shit." Just sayin'

this dude knows wtf is up.

[CollinsE90]

taught radix everything he knows *tear*

[Inspired]

Originally Posted by radix

Sorry to hear this happened to you Mike. If this is anything like the usual story, it usually works like this...


1. Girl thinks she's got guy figured out, and interest starts to wane, or she starts to try to make you jump through hoops and control you.

2. Guy wonders why her interest is disappearing, why she seems more distant.

3. Guy takes action to try to keep her "happy". That action might include jumping through the hoops mentioned in #1. These little tests can be the smallest fucking things too.

4. Girl interprets those actions as dependence or compliance which further drives girl away.


The real problem stems from #1, but #3 just makes it worse. If ever you feel a woman you're interested in slowly pulling away from you, pull away harder and faster than she does. Never ask them "what's wrong?", or try to bargain with them, ever.

In your particular case it doesn't matter if you want to be with her or not, pull away. Be as distant as possible for a good while. If you're confidence or pride was damaged by this, then just use this as a time to put every last one of your ducks in a row. There are probably things you've been putting off that you can turn your focus to.

Even if you still love her, it's probably better you don't talk to her until YOU feel like you're going to be unaffected by it.

[Bimmer Nerd]

Originally Posted by Wakka

From someone who is in the exact same situation as you, im telling you right now... dont do that.

I went in to my relationship not giving a fuck, i was hurt from my last girl and my mind had put up this wall. a wall where nothing would bother me, i didnt give any fucks. That was also what ruined my relationship with this girl... I didnt give her the attention she deserved, i didnt treat her how she should have been treated. she waited a year for me to snap out of it, and i didnt until she left me. Now shes getting stuffed by some other guy and what the fuck am i to do? Cry about it? Try and be her friend? Put the wall up again?

No, im going to learn from my mistake and just wait for the perfect girl this time, im not gonna fuck it up either. Trust me man... do yourself a favor and dont jump into another relationship, not till you are ready. If you find a really cool girl tell her that you need some more time before you can start dating. Express to her that she is awesome and you dont want to pass her by, but you just need some time.

also i havent tried yet, but i would imagine finding a FWB would help monumentously.

EDIT: If said cool girl is worth it she will wait for you, if she doesnt... she wasnt that cool to begin with.

AHHHHHH

I feel like you were writing that post for me. I dont know about you guys, but for me, usually when i m single, i m SINGLE. I mean dry as a fucking dry lake bed dry.....and then all of a sudden i end up talking to like 2-3 girls at a time.

Thats what happened about two years back when i was single and then i started talking to this one girl. We talked every day, she would call me, ask me how my day was going, yada yada. Basically, very nice and concerned type of a chick that i really liked. She was really cute, i liked her. But at the same time i was talking to 2 other girls and OF COURSE, my dick did all the thinking and i didn't appreciate the perfect girl i had under my nose. I ended up ruining my chances with her as she lost interest while i was talking to other girls. When those girls eventully faded out of my life, i tried to talk to her and was given the cold shoulder (which looking at back now, i totally deserve....boyyy i deserve that shit so much).
I tried talking to her, i would text her a lot, i even wrote her like a 2 pg essay about saying all the things that i did wrong and how sorry i was for all of it. which she clearly didn't give a shit about cause all she replied back was "ohhh really, thats cute". But all too late now. Now she's with a dude that looks like douchebagus maximus from jersey shore and she thinks she is happy, until she realizes she'll get dumped. But oh well i had my chance and regret my decision. But like you said wakka, i'll never make that mistake again, now knowing what i did wrong and what a perfect opportunity i missed out on.

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Nerd

AHHHHHH

I feel like you were writing that post for me. I dont know about you guys, but for me, usually when i m single, i m SINGLE. I mean dry as a fucking dry lake bed dry.....and then all of a sudden i end up talking to like 2-3 girls at a time.

Thats what happened about two years back when i was single and then i started talking to this one girl. We talked every day, she would call me, ask me how my day was going, yada yada. Basically, very nice and concerned type of a chick that i really liked. She was really cute, i liked her. But at the same time i was talking to 2 other girls and OF COURSE, my dick did all the thinking and i didn't appreciate the perfect girl i had under my nose. I ended up ruining my chances with her as she lost interest while i was talking to other girls. When those girls eventully faded out of my life, i tried to talk to her and was given the cold shoulder (which looking at back now, i totally deserve....boyyy i deserve that shit so much).
I tried talking to her, i would text her a lot, i even wrote her like a 2 pg essay about saying all the things that i did wrong and how sorry i was for all of it. which she clearly didn't give a shit about cause all she replied back was "ohhh really, thats cute". But all too late now. Now she's with a dude that looks like douchebagus maximus from jersey shore and she thinks she is happy, until she realizes she'll get dumped. But oh well i had my chance and regret my decision. But like you said wakka, i'll never make that mistake again, now knowing what i did wrong and what a perfect opportunity i missed out on.

Dude, some of the things i've done to attempt to get my girl back are borderline problematic. I was retarded. She called me tonight, told me that she wants to be friends, and friends on fb. I said whatever fine... why not. She tells me 'you cant get mad then like... delete me' Ok, no problem i promise i wont do that.

So i accept the request and first thing i see is shes in a relationship with her new guy. The only way i can describe it is like... when you turn a light on the it dies instantly. my heart pounced like for like 2 seconds then it was gone... it was like...a weight off my shoulder. And all my feelings/emotions went out the door. I told her this, and said i was totally ready to be friends. I said 'when did you guys become official?' however, after i told her i was relieve and had no more feelings... she freaking lost it. 'WE ARENT DATING OMG WTF?' I told her i just saw it on her page... i went to check 10 seconds after that and it was gone... by this point she was apeshit crazy, deleted me from facebook and blocked me , supposedly blocked my number from being able to text/call her, and probably doesnt read my emails....


Now get me if im wrong, but if that was one of her games to try and get my attention... what a fucking retard she is, if she isnt dating him... why the fuck was it on your profile? and if you are dating him... why the fuck do you care if im happy for you?

I will never fully understand what runs through that girls head... but i bet she calls me tomorrow and says shes sorry.... or maybe she wont who knows lol, i can say that i feel 1000x better knowing i dont have to compete to try and get her back though... i already lost, mind as well move on I feel free.

[Inspired]

^ sounds like a freaking waste of time...

[Wakka]

Originally Posted by twinturbo335

^ sounds like a freaking waste of time...

Yup, welcome to girls from the bronx.

[radix]

Originally Posted by Wakka

Yup, welcome to girls from the bronx.

don't be fooled by the rocks that they got

[Bimmer Nerd]

Originally Posted by Wakka

Dude, some of the things i've done to attempt to get my girl back are borderline problematic. I was retarded. She called me tonight, told me that she wants to be friends, and friends on fb. I said whatever fine... why not. She tells me 'you cant get mad then like... delete me' Ok, no problem i promise i wont do that.

So i accept the request and first thing i see is shes in a relationship with her new guy. The only way i can describe it is like... when you turn a light on the it dies instantly. my heart pounced like for like 2 seconds then it was gone... it was like...a weight off my shoulder. And all my feelings/emotions went out the door. I told her this, and said i was totally ready to be friends. I said 'when did you guys become official?' however, after i told her i was relieve and had no more feelings... she freaking lost it. 'WE ARENT DATING OMG WTF?' I told her i just saw it on her page... i went to check 10 seconds after that and it was gone... by this point she was apeshit crazy, deleted me from facebook and blocked me , supposedly blocked my number from being able to text/call her, and probably doesnt read my emails....


Now get me if im wrong, but if that was one of her games to try and get my attention... what a fucking retard she is, if she isnt dating him... why the fuck was it on your profile? and if you are dating him... why the fuck do you care if im happy for you?

I will never fully understand what runs through that girls head... but i bet she calls me tomorrow and says shes sorry.... or maybe she wont who knows lol, i can say that i feel 1000x better knowing i dont have to compete to try and get her back though... i already lost, mind as well move on I feel free.

Lmfaooo....you have you're hands full w/ that one. I stopped talking to my girl, I m gonna delete her number right now so nothing will remind me of her.

Good luck lol !

[Blayne]

Originally Posted by Wakka

Dude, some of the things i've done to attempt to get my girl back are borderline problematic. I was retarded. She called me tonight, told me that she wants to be friends, and friends on fb. I said whatever fine... why not. She tells me 'you cant get mad then like... delete me' Ok, no problem i promise i wont do that.

So i accept the request and first thing i see is shes in a relationship with her new guy. The only way i can describe it is like... when you turn a light on the it dies instantly. my heart pounced like for like 2 seconds then it was gone... it was like...a weight off my shoulder. And all my feelings/emotions went out the door. I told her this, and said i was totally ready to be friends. I said 'when did you guys become official?' however, after i told her i was relieve and had no more feelings... she freaking lost it. 'WE ARENT DATING OMG WTF?' I told her i just saw it on her page... i went to check 10 seconds after that and it was gone... by this point she was apeshit crazy, deleted me from facebook and blocked me , supposedly blocked my number from being able to text/call her, and probably doesnt read my emails....


Now get me if im wrong, but if that was one of her games to try and get my attention... what a fucking retard she is, if she isnt dating him... why the fuck was it on your profile? and if you are dating him... why the fuck do you care if im happy for you?

I will never fully understand what runs through that girls head... but i bet she calls me tomorrow and says shes sorry.... or maybe she wont who knows lol, i can say that i feel 1000x better knowing i dont have to compete to try and get her back though... i already lost, mind as well move on I feel free.

That is one fucked up bitttchhhhhhhh

[immiketoo]

Radix, you nailed it. There was a lot of hoop jumping or little tests. And I jumped. It's also good to know that I am not the only one who's had to deal with this shit. Not that I'm happy that any of you had to go through it, but jeez. Are there any decent ones out there? I don't think I can trust my judgement at this point in time. Looks like winter is going to be spent doing all the things I have neglected while dating her!

[Comet]

Originally Posted by immiketoo

Radix, you nailed it. There was a lot of hoop jumping or little tests. And I jumped. It's also good to know that I am not the only one who's had to deal with this shit. Not that I'm happy that any of you had to go through it, but jeez. Are there any decent ones out there? I don't think I can trust my judgement at this point in time. Looks like winter is going to be spent doing all the things I have neglected while dating her!

no such thing as a decent girl anymore...
none of them want a good guy that will treat them right.. they want a broken animal that they can fix up while he beats her, because he does it out of "love".

They want to be ignored so that they can prove themselves "good enough" or whatever. It is insecurity. Treat a girl well, and she'll become petrified at the thought that it is going too well.

Never put your cards on the table and show who you are fully because then they "have you figured out" and they move on.

Also, the less you have your life in order, the more they can "fix". Which is why girls go after struggling musicians/artists/photographers/other job that can never put food on the table.

Now a woman, that's something else...

[immiketoo]

Originally Posted by SehrSchnell

Sorry to hear that Mike. I've had my share of heartaches, and betrayals... Things get better, you'll move on... and you'll find the true love of your live and marry her.

I had a nasty break-up and left Germany for NYC (got recruited out of college to work for an american company)... long story short... 6 months later I stand in line at a store, and met my wife.

Annoying shit happens, but great stuff happens too... it's just around the corner.

God I hope so.