Funniest Joke

DasBoost · 08-29-2008, 12:03 AM

Q: What do you call Winnie the Poo's grandmother?

A: Poonanny.

DSe93 · 08-29-2008, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DasBoost

Q: What do you call Winnie the Poo's grandmother?

A: Poonanny.

hahaa good one

AW335TT · 08-29-2008, 04:01 AM

How do you piss off a female archeologist????

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period its from...

AW335TT · 08-29-2008, 04:02 AM

A guy walks up to a lady on the street and says "Can i paint you in the nude" the lady replies "im not a model" the guy says "well im not a painter!"

Whostheboss · 08-29-2008, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AW335TT

A guy walks up to a lady on the street and says "Can i paint you in the nude" the lady replies "im not a model" the guy says "well im not a painter!"

jlspeed29 · 08-29-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DasBoost

Q: What do you call Winnie the Poo's grandmother?

A: Poonanny.

DasBoost, your avatar is killing me!!!!!
is there a larger version of that?

kennyg · 08-29-2008, 12:53 PM

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"

Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"

Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. "The only thing I smell is molasses"

jlspeed29 · 08-29-2008, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyg

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"

Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"

Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. "The only thing I smell is molasses"

DasBoost · 08-29-2008, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlspeed29

DasBoost, your avatar is killing me!!!!!
is there a larger version of that?

Ask and you shall receive, there you go jlspeed29.

Now back to the topic, I'm not a rasict but these kinda jokes are the funniest.

Q: What do you call a Puerto Rican with a rubber toe?

A: Roberto.

DasBoost · 08-29-2008, 04:10 PM

Q: What do you call two Mexican's playing soccer?

A: Juan on Juan.

Viva la raza!

Dmitriy@AUTOcouture · 08-29-2008, 06:09 PM

What did God say when he made the first black person?

"Oops I burned one."

kennyg · 08-29-2008, 08:30 PM

What is white and streaks across the sky?

The coming of the Lord

Whostheboss · 08-29-2008, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shpuntik

What did God say when he made the first black person?

"Oops I burned one."

NOT FUNNY!

PaulBailey@ltbmw · 08-29-2008, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by in5ane_3

SERIOUS:

I don't know were to put this but,
I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my gfhas been cheating on me.

The usual signs? Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My gf has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, Just some friends from work, you don?t know them.?

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my gf I think deep down I just didn?t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my car next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my front wheel , that I noticed that my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Fuck that!
I'm pissed.
I cant believe i wasted 30 seconds of my life reading that dumb ass story

Whostheboss · 08-29-2008, 11:16 PM

just when you though it was getting good huh?

PaulBailey@ltbmw · 08-29-2008, 11:27 PM

Exactly!

SoYank · 08-30-2008, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

NOT FUNNY!

Ditto!

TK-421 · 08-30-2008, 07:57 PM

NOTICE *if i post any racist jokes it is because i am (at least partly) of that ethnicity/religion*

How do Jews celebrate Christmas?

They put a parking meter on the roof.

TK-421 · 08-30-2008, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyg

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!"

Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!"

Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. "The only thing I smell is molasses"

NaTuReB0Y · 08-30-2008, 09:42 PM

Why is Hillary Clinton always on top?

Bill always FUCKS up.........

Gearcraft · 08-30-2008, 11:32 PM

Dear Consumers,

Please be advised of several food poisoning incidents in scattered branches of Burger King, Wendy's, Jack in the box, and Carl's Jr. fastfood chains. Until further notice, please refrain from eating anything from the said fastfood chains. Please inform all of your friends and family.

Respectfully yours,

Ronald McDonald

***DISCLAIMER: its just a joke i dont wanna get sued. lol***

DSe93 · 08-31-2008, 03:55 AM

^^^ FAIL ^^^

08-29-2008, 12:03 AM	#67
DasBoost Tek Dat 2 Rep 21 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NYC iTrader: (0)	Q: What do you call Winnie the Poo's grandmother? A: Poonanny.
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08-29-2008, 04:01 AM	#69
AW335TT Major 627 Rep 1,420 Posts Drives: a car Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: North Hollywood, CA iTrader: (0)	How do you piss off a female archeologist???? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period its from... __________________
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08-29-2008, 04:02 AM	#70
AW335TT Major 627 Rep 1,420 Posts Drives: a car Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: North Hollywood, CA iTrader: (0)	A guy walks up to a lady on the street and says "Can i paint you in the nude" the lady replies "im not a model" the guy says "well im not a painter!" __________________
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08-29-2008, 12:53 PM	#73
kennyg new BMW owner 1 Rep 72 Posts Drives: 2008 335xi sedan Join Date: May 2008 Location: Delaware iTrader: (0)	There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. "The only thing I smell is molasses"
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08-29-2008, 04:10 PM	#76
DasBoost Tek Dat 2 Rep 21 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NYC iTrader: (0)	Q: What do you call two Mexican's playing soccer? A: Juan on Juan. Viva la raza!
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08-29-2008, 06:09 PM	#77
Dmitriy@AUTOcouture Major 222 Rep 1,133 Posts Drives: carefully Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: NYC iTrader: (3)	What did God say when he made the first black person? "Oops I burned one."
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08-29-2008, 08:30 PM	#78
kennyg new BMW owner 1 Rep 72 Posts Drives: 2008 335xi sedan Join Date: May 2008 Location: Delaware iTrader: (0)	What is white and streaks across the sky? The coming of the Lord
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08-29-2008, 11:16 PM	#81
Whostheboss Captain 426 Rep 841 Posts Drives: a 9incher Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: No. Virginia U.S.A. iTrader: (0)	just when you though it was getting good huh? __________________ WHO'S THE BOSS
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08-29-2008, 11:27 PM	#82
PaulBailey@ltbmw General 688 Rep 26,876 Posts Drives: 2-325 330 2-335 2-Z4 2-135 X5d Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Huntington Beach, CA iTrader: (34) Garage List 2008 BMW 335i E90 [7.00] 2011 BMW 335i E92 [7.96]	Exactly!
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08-30-2008, 07:57 PM	#84
TK-421 Registered Sex Offender 637 Rep 4,757 Posts Drives: E46 M3 \| 1JZ S13 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL iTrader: (0)	NOTICE if i post any racist jokes it is because i am (at least partly) of that ethnicity/religion How do Jews celebrate Christmas? They put a parking meter on the roof. __________________ Stop putting stuff like painted reflectors and premium package in your signature. You're embarrassing.
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08-30-2008, 09:42 PM	#86
NaTuReB0Y Powered By 36DD 378 Rep 7,369 Posts Drives: 2006 E90 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Inland Empire iTrader: (12)	Why is Hillary Clinton always on top? Bill always FUCKS up......... __________________ 2006 E90 330i Jet Black \| 20" WORK VS-XX \| FK452 \| H&R Sport on Koni Yellow \| REMUS QUAD
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08-30-2008, 11:32 PM	#87
Gearcraft misadventurer 64 Rep 708 Posts Drives: bubbie mystic blue whale Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: candied island iTrader: (0)	Food Poisoning Advisory Dear Consumers, Please be advised of several food poisoning incidents in scattered branches of Burger King, Wendy's, Jack in the box, and Carl's Jr. fastfood chains. Until further notice, please refrain from eating anything from the said fastfood chains. Please inform all of your friends and family. Respectfully yours, Ronald McDonald *DISCLAIMER: its just a joke i dont wanna get sued. lol* __________________ 325i I SP
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08-31-2008, 03:55 AM	#88
DSe93 DANNY 46 Rep 608 Posts Drives: E93 335i AW/CR Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (0) Garage List 2016 BMW X5M F85 [0.00]	^^^ FAIL ^^^ Attached Images
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