[bimmette]

Omg, trying not to LOL at work.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Omg, trying not to LOL at work.

It's ok - laughter is a good sign of a well rounded individual. Plus, if there are others around, you can introduce them to the melting pot that is BP.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Omg, trying not to LOL at work.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

you can introduce them to the melting pot that is BP.

She wouldn't wish that on her worst enemy

[a4nut]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

ok i'll add a little spice to this just to keep you on the hook. she hasn't been feeling well, a gave her abx and she has been taking ibuprofen/sudafed for congestion. she mentions to me that she has some new bruising on her legs. i ask her let me see so she stands up and drops trou right in front of me, she's wearing a black thong. still dont really remember what the bruising looked like... told her its probably from the ibuprofen

So I've been stalking this thread for weeks, great entertainment and I get to live vicariously through doc and the peanut gallery. IMHO, she just told you that you are going too slow. And proved it.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Never been a fan of the shackles for carnal use or for the unfortunate need of legal issues, I've been privy to both.

Also not a fan of shackling/tying someone up, I want them to touch me. If we are already in the act of sexual congress I don't really feel a need for tying them up. They aren't going to fight me on what I plan to do to them. Just seems a little rape-y.

Edit: Re-read your comment.....I see what you did there. I missed it originally. As long as it's consensual it's all good. Choking is where it gets sketchy. There's an art to that. If you don't know what you're doing there it's best to just leave it to those that do. People get bruised and injured doing that shit. You're only trying to limit the oxygen supply to the brain, not collapse the airway.

safest way is to apply pressure with your fingers to the side of the neck, NOT with your palm, thats how people die

then again i feel like im the last person to "educate" you on sex stuff

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

safest way is to apply pressure with your fingers to the side of the neck, NOT with your palm, thats how people die

then again i feel like im the last person to "educate" you on sex stuff

You are correct sir. Pressure against the carotid by using the forefinger and thumb against the jaw. You don't want to choke them out, just reduce oxygen to the brain by limiting blood flow.

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[upstatedoc]

I've got my boys tomorrow night. I made reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in the area for Friday. And after that

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

I've got my boys tomorrow night. I made reservations at one of the nicest restaurants in the area for Friday. And after that

I'm digging the intent behind that flaming devil emoji.

[rlmesq]

A friend of mine dated a woman who was in the Air Force. It seemed like pretty hot sex until she wanted to involve razor blades and hot glue guns, but he didn't really know how to break it off.

One day she came over and his cat, Stumpy, jumped into his lap. Stumpy was all white, but he always looked sort of gray because one of his front legs was underdeveloped and he couldn't wash himself. His stumpy little paw didn't reach far enough to do any good... and it wouldn't support him so he could groom with his other paw.

Stumpy purred quietly for a few minutes... then puked up a huge amount of vile smelling green bile down my friend's leg. He just ignored it and kept petting Stumpy, who just purred as if nothing had happened.

My friend said it was the worst ten minutes of his life as he struggled not to vomit over the smell, while the girl gave him strange looks because he did nothing to clean up the stream of cat puke that was dripping down his leg, onto his shoe and the floor. Finally she said she had to go, and he never heard from her again.

Stumpy got canned salmon or tuna for the rest of the month.

[******]

Originally Posted by rlmesq

A friend of mine dated a woman who was in the Air Force. It seemed like pretty hot sex until she wanted to involve razor blades and hot glue guns, but he didn't really know how to break it off.

One day she came over and his cat, Stumpy, jumped into his lap. Stumpy was all white, but he always looked sort of gray because one of his front legs was underdeveloped and he couldn't wash himself. His stumpy little paw didn't reach far enough to do any good... and it wouldn't support him so he could groom with his other paw.

Stumpy purred quietly for a few minutes... then puked up a huge amount of vile smelling green bile down my friend's leg. He just ignored it and kept petting Stumpy, who just purred as if nothing had happened.

My friend said it was the worst ten minutes of his life as he struggled not to vomit over the smell, while the girl gave him strange looks because he did nothing to clean up the stream of cat puke that was dripping down his leg, onto his shoe and the floor. Finally she said she had to go, and he never heard from her again.

Stumpy got canned salmon or tuna for the rest of the month.

Uh huh, this story was about a “friend”....uh huh...

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by rlmesq

A friend of mine dated a woman who was in the Air Force. It seemed like pretty hot sex until she wanted to involve razor blades and hot glue guns, but he didn't really know how to break it off.

One day she came over and his cat, Stumpy, jumped into his lap. Stumpy was all white, but he always looked sort of gray because one of his front legs was underdeveloped and he couldn't wash himself. His stumpy little paw didn't reach far enough to do any good... and it wouldn't support him so he could groom with his other paw.

Stumpy purred quietly for a few minutes... then puked up a huge amount of vile smelling green bile down my friend's leg. He just ignored it and kept petting Stumpy, who just purred as if nothing had happened.

My friend said it was the worst ten minutes of his life as he struggled not to vomit over the smell, while the girl gave him strange looks because he did nothing to clean up the stream of cat puke that was dripping down his leg, onto his shoe and the floor. Finally she said she had to go, and he never heard from her again.

Stumpy got canned salmon or tuna for the rest of the month.

What the hell did I just read? A tale of hot sex with a woman from the Air Force including razor blades and hot glue guns that ultimately culminated in disaster due to a lack of initiative to cleanse cat yack off his leg??? Seems like the only winner here is the disabled cat with the stanky leg. Gotta love them interwebs.

[******]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

What the hell did I just read? A tale of hot sex with a woman from the Air Force including razor blades and hot glue guns that ultimately culminated in disaster due to a lack of initiative to cleanse cat yack off his leg??? Seems like the only winner here is the disabled cat with the stanky leg. Gotta love them interwebs.

So I think that story was strange but true... or maybe just strange.

[CTinline-six]

Interesting. Razor blades have never really been a turn on for me.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Herdalum

So I think that story was strange but true... or maybe just strange.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the entire thing. If he didn't like razor blades and hot glue guns involved in sex, why not simply voice his concerns and let her know it wasn't for him and end it? From what I gather, said friend used the ole "I'm going to sit here covered in cat vomit rather than openly communicate" method to end things. This entire story reeks of class.

Good for her for taking her razors and glue elsewhere as this alleged "friend" is clearly not mature enough to handle such a sexual relationship?

I'm still trying to figure out the razors and glue also. Was she going to cut him open and glue him closed? Perhaps put hot glue on him (or her) and use the razors to scrape it off? I'm baffled. All I know is that anyone that would rather sit in cat overflow versus using verbal indicators that he doesn't like something needs help.

[******]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the entire thing. If he didn't like razor blades and hot glue guns involved in sex, why not simply voice his concerns and let her know it wasn't for him and end it? From what I gather, said friend used the ole "I'm going to sit here covered in cat vomit rather than openly communicate" method to end things. This entire story reeks of class.

Good for her for taking her razors and glue elsewhere as this alleged "friend" is clearly not mature enough to handle such a sexual relationship?

I'm still trying to figure out the razors and glue also. Was she going to cut him open and glue him closed? Perhaps put hot glue on him (or her) and use the razors to scrape it off? I'm baffled. All I know is that anyone that would rather sit in cat overflow versus using verbal indicators that he doesn't like something needs help.

Exactly. That’s why the story was about a “friend”...

Actually, I think this story was about as believable as my having a St. Bernard. Stumpy, LoL.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Herdalum

Exactly. That’s why the story was about a “friend”...

Actually, I think this story was about as believable as my having a St. Bernard. Stumpy, LoL.

You have a St. Bernard Stumpy?!??!?

Please share pics!




I once waxed a tigers ass because I didn't want to tell my grandma I don't like hot tea.

[******]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

You have a St. Bernard Stumpy?!??!?

Please share pics!




I once waxed a tigers ass because I didn't want to tell my grandma I don't like hot tea.

I didn’t tell you about my St. Bernard? Her name was Droopy, not Stumpy, btw. Anyway, there was this very nice, very hot girl who wanted to have sex with me, but I didn’t like the fact that she didn’t drive a BMW, so when she came over for sex I had Droopy shit all over my new Persian rug, worth thousands and she got up and left! Mission accomplished! Ah, gee, priceless memories.

[******]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the entire thing. If he didn't like razor blades and hot glue guns involved in sex, why not simply voice his concerns and let her know it wasn't for him and end it? From what I gather, said friend used the ole "I'm going to sit here covered in cat vomit rather than openly communicate" method to end things. This entire story reeks of class.

Good for her for taking her razors and glue elsewhere as this alleged "friend" is clearly not mature enough to handle such a sexual relationship?

I'm still trying to figure out the razors and glue also. Was she going to cut him open and glue him closed? Perhaps put hot glue on him (or her) and use the razors to scrape it off? I'm baffled. All I know is that anyone that would rather sit in cat overflow versus using verbal indicators that he doesn't like something needs help.

Anyway, yeah, I don’t get the razor blades and glue either... everybody knows it’s all ball bearings these days.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Herdalum

Anyway, yeah, I don’t get the razor blades and glue either... everybody knows it’s all ball bearings these days.

Yeah man, razor blades and hot glue is so 2000-late.

I hear good things about black iron pipe and cup holders lately.

[******]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Yeah man, razor blades and hot glue is so 2000-late.

I hear good things about black iron pipe and cup holders lately.

Wow, you are always so ahead of the curve, Judy!

[nyalpine90]

whaaaatttt razor blade n hot glue