[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Esteban

That's sounds like a tough spot to be in. Almost like you have no choice. Are you close with your bro. Can you convince him to have a talk with your parents so this wouldn't be all on you?

Not really. That's probably also a big reason for the disconnect. I'm not very close to any of my family. And that's mainly due to me being the odd one out. But if I was to have a talk with him, it would be more centered around him growing up. I can't expect my parents to change at this point in their lives, nor is it worth the friction, but I do think he needs to mature.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Also, they don't consider it disrespectful that he doesn't pay rent?

Asian household... They're happy to have him live at home as opposed to being empty nesters if they had it their way my wife and kids would be living with them as well.

I think it's typical of many south Asian family dynamics. For my parents, life was all about survival. Any "leisure" related activities were centered around kids... and any "vacations" were just trips back home. Now that kids are grown, the parents don't really know what to do with themselves. Hell I can't even pay for them to take an actual vacation. I tried buying them a resort vacation for their birthdays and they made me cancel saying "what would we do there?"

[vreihen16]

I ASSume that you are charging for gas, your time, plus per-mile depreciation on mom's taxi?????

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

Guilty



It's hard for me to say they're ignorant of how much of a hassle it is... because I feel that would be somewhat disrespectful.... but that's sort of it it's one thing if I was single or even married with no kids and had a bit more free time. But with 2 little kids it's pretty tough to justify a 3+ hour trip when my brother can easily just take an Uber.

And this brings up the other issue. If I'm not able to, it's held against me, regardless of the reason.

Haha, ya, it's an Asian-thang, other ppl wouldn't understand

I dunno, dude, I think maybe you gotta make your folks understand it's a pretty big hassle for you, it's not about blind respect for the elders, if they're wrong, they're wrong...just that you don't diss them outright but say it nicely haha. So, I don't think they should have that mentality of what you stated in your last para, that would be crazy if after you tried to be reasonable they would still hold it against you, not as if your bro's an invalid and helpless. Heck, you're even so nice to throw in a free uber.

Srsly though, no culture is completely right and this is where you should listen to the Western homies and set some boundaries...like I said, it's kinda crazy they expect you to do this 3+ hour thing w/o any consideration of you, esp when you're a family man. Obviously, the status quo is not cool. GL.

[Esteban]

Well, to me family means everything. But I play favorites too. I'm much closer to my daughter than my son. That's not all my fault. My son thinks of his friends as his family where my daughter knows who is family and who is not.

I guess it's tough all over.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

I ASSume that you are charging for gas, your time, plus per-mile depreciation on mom's taxi?????

I should just bust out the card reader and ask for payment

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

Not really. That's probably also a big reason for the disconnect. I'm not very close to any of my family. And that's mainly due to me being the odd one out. But if I was to have a talk with him, it would be more centered around him growing up. I can't expect my parents to change at this point in their lives, nor is it worth the friction, but I do think he needs to mature.

Dude, this and your previous other post about your younger bro living rent-free...are we the same person, cuz minus the kids and 1 parent it sound pretty darn familiar

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Onesie

LOL sorry, what’s the question?

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Onesie

Seriously, I don’t understand.

Are you asking if it’s a cultural thing?
Or if you shouldn’t give rides if you don’t want to?
Or if it’s ok to feel indignant?
Or?

I'm not really sure... somehow this whole thing turned into a rant/therapy session

[Esteban]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I'm not really sure... somehow this whole thing turned into a rant/therapy session

Maybe you just needed to get it off your chest.

Feel better?

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by tranquility

Dude, this and your previous other post about your younger bro living rent-free...are we the same person, cuz minus the kids and 1 parent it sound pretty darn familiar

Do you also enjoy taking extra long bathroom breaks and appreciate the looks of the g80? Because if so, we are totally twinning.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Esteban

Maybe you just needed to get it off your chest.

Feel better?

This clashes with my toxic masculinity. Quick, someone cold start a v8 and cook me a steak medium rare.

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I'm not really sure... somehow this whole thing turned into a rant/therapy session

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by wtwo3

Do you also enjoy taking extra long bathroom breaks and appreciate the looks of the g80? Because if so, we are totally twinning.

This thing??


Hell no and hellz no then. Oh well haha.

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by Onesie

LOL maybe you just needed reassurance.

You’re not an asshole for feeling indignant. But try not to think that way, because it only makes it worse when you inevitably give the ride anyway.

Think of it as an opportunity to see family when they’re coming back, maybe meet them inside to make an event, etc.

Next time put up a funny sign as if you’re a limo driver like “porn awards ceremony - name - party of 1” and hang it up so it’s visible to all coming through as if you don’t know him/her.

Damn, you're good. No, srsly.

Originally Posted by Onesie

Worse (or is it, really). He means the M3/M4 and their buck teeth.

The beaver-toothed Bimmer??? HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! LMAO.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by tranquility

The beaver-toothed Bimmer??? HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! LMAO.

And here I thought we were making progress...

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Onesie

LOL maybe you just needed reassurance.

You’re not an asshole for feeling indignant. But try not to think that way, because it only makes it worse when you inevitably give the ride anyway.

Think of it as an opportunity to see family when they’re coming back, maybe meet them inside to make an event, etc.

Next time put up a funny sign as if you’re a limo driver like “porn awards ceremony - name - party of 1” and hang it up so it’s visible to all coming through as if you don’t know him/her.

You make good points. It's sort of an inevitability so might as well shift my mindset towards it.

[Esteban]

No one posted up V8 sounds yet?

Here you go:

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by Esteban

No one posted up V8 sounds yet?

Here you go:

Ah... the testosterone... it's returning...

[dreamingat30fps]

Let me clarify. We do not pick each other up when we go on random trips. However if someone is coming specifically to visit me then I definitely pick them up.

Like if we are in NC and family flies in to visit us we will pick them up from the airport even though it's and hour and a half away. If my friend flies down from CA I will pick him up unless it's some kind of crazy circumstance. However if my sister goes on vacation to Mexico I'm not picking her up and dropping her off.

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

And here I thought we were making progress...

Regrets, bro.

[JP10]

I didn't bother to read anything but the initial. He is 28… let him handle his own ride. 3hrs - hell no

Just edited this - if he expect you to pick him up, from a brother of 4, tell him to eat rocks