11-21-2006, 12:30 PM | #1 |
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Seven Degrees of Blonde
* * * 7 DEGREES OF BLONDE * * *
* FIRST DEGREE * A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear." * SECOND DEGREE * Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" * THIRD DEGREE * A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" * FOURTH DEGREE * A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." * FIFTH DEGREE * What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" * SIXTH DEGREE * Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware." * SEVENTH DEGREE * Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
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2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec
SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269 Last edited by SoYank; 03-19-2016 at 08:38 PM.. |
11-21-2006, 02:33 PM | #2 |
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Nice work Floyd!
That reminds me- I must get 7 blondes to turn up to UK3! Viv
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Last edited by vivekk; 11-21-2006 at 02:49 PM.. |
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11-22-2006, 01:27 PM | #3 | |
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Quote:
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2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec
SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269 |
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11-23-2006, 02:59 PM | #5 | |
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So how would I tell a girl's real hair colour...by asking her hairdresser perhaps? Viv |
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11-24-2006, 06:09 PM | #8 | |
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2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec
SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269 |
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11-26-2006, 03:22 PM | #10 |
boku no namae ha...
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hahaha... great stuff
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looking for a PreLCI Black Sapphire e90 front bumper without license plate holes
"Akimbo shotguns. Broken wrists anyone? And don't give me that 'it's just a game' bull****. Where the **** are my akimbo interventions then?! One scope on each eye mother****er!!" |
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12-14-2006, 10:01 PM | #11 |
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Garage List 1999 M3 [0.00]
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Haha. Classic.
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“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” ~ Socrates
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