[Torgus]

I beat off constantly.

[EALm4]

Originally Posted by grimlock

guy points gun at you, guy later dies of heartache you could have saved?

if this happened, there is a God.

oh no no. He didnt die. But I never walked my dogs down there again and when I started driving later that year I felt like every time I passed his place he'd be standing outside looking at people walking or driving by. I felt like he was always staring at me.

You know that awkward feel you get when you see someone you dont want to talk to so you pretend not to see them. That's how it felt up until the point where my family found out he died (years later... no idea if was bc of heart attack either).

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by EALm4

oh no no. He didnt die. But I never walked my dogs down there again and when I started driving later that year I felt like every time I passed his place he'd be standing outside looking at people walking or driving by. I felt like he was always staring at me.

You know that awkward feel you get when you see someone you dont want to talk to so you pretend not to see them. That's how it felt up until the point where my family found out he died (years later... no idea if was bc of heart attack either).

Was attacked by the descendants of the massacred ducks, who thought he had done it.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by EALm4

oh no no. He didnt die. But I never walked my dogs down there again and when I started driving later that year I felt like every time I passed his place he'd be standing outside looking at people walking or driving by. I felt like he was always staring at me.

You know that awkward feel you get when you see someone you dont want to talk to so you pretend not to see them. That's how it felt up until the point where my family found out he died (years later... no idea if was bc of heart attack either).

By the way, you may want to start talking to someone bruh. I'm not saying you're gonna be a serial killer, but I'm not saying you won't be either. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...t-harming-pets

[F30lolz]

These are my confessions:

Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

These are my confessions:

Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

That was... heartfelt, man. Some real shit.

Although, if srs, then.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

These are my confessions:

Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do
I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do
But to give you part 2 of my confessions

You suck. Let me usher you outta here

[08njSTEP]

I had sex in my friends mom's bed and lost the condom. I really looked for it too, but it was just gone. And at this same encounter another friend laid on bed while girl and I were still naked under sheets. I asked if he was comfortable laying in a bed with a naked man? This was enough for him to leave.

[EALm4]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

By the way, you may want to start talking to someone bruh. I'm not saying you're gonna be a serial killer, but I'm not saying you won't be either. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...t-harming-pets

Everyone knows that theory. Ducks arent pets and to this day I still kill/hunt them along with quail and deer.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by EALm4

Everyone knows that theory. Ducks arent pets and to this day I still kill/hunt them along with quail and deer.

A little different from what you described. Not quite hunting. But... I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Only 63% chance of being referred to by all three names by in the press.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by 08njSTEP

I had sex in my friends mom's bed and lost the condom. I really looked for it too, but it was just gone. And at this same encounter another friend laid on bed while girl and I were still naked under sheets. I asked if he was comfortable laying in a bed with a naked man? This was enough for him to leave.

Condom must have been really small. Just sayin. I think this is where the emoji goes.

[1MOREMOD]

I lost condom similarly but was found by next chick in there day later.

[natedog7700]

Short story long:

My buddy planned a house party the weekend of my 18th birthday, without knowing it. He ends up dedicating the party to me and knowing its my 18th birthday, i couldn't decline the offer. With his parents out of town and a big house to himself, it was game on. Later that night i slept with a hot blonde in his dad's bed, the one he said was reserved for me (what a good friend lol). I woke up the next morning, walked down stairs and said "do you need help cleaning anything up?" "nah its all good man, its all done already, you wana go get some breakfast?". I declined the offer and headed home in my 350z at the time. The next day, His dad showed up and called my buddy down stairs for the obvious tire tracks, beer bottles, etc. When he asked "who slept in my bed" my buddy reluctantly said he threw a party for me and wanted me to have somewhere to sleep. (There wernt many other good places because the whole house was pretty rowdy). My buddy was pleased to hear what he found in his room. He found my socks (couldn't find them for the life of me) and a Gatorade bottle next to his bed with alcohol in it. He also managed to find one of his work shirts, that i had used for a cum rag... I never heard the end of it after that day. When his dad was home i would stay far, far away and never look back. Fast foward a couple years, everything worked out well and i never had to apologize or anything. Good times.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

Long story short:

My buddy planned a house party the weekend of my 18th birthday, without knowing it. He ends up dedicating the party to me and knowing its my 18th birthday, i couldn't decline the offer. With his parents out of town and a big house to himself, it was game on. Later that night i slept with a hot blonde in his dad's bed, the one he said was reserved for me (what a good friend lol). I woke up the next morning, walked down stairs and said "do you need help cleaning anything up?" "nah its all good man, its all done already, you wana go get some breakfast?". I declined the offer and headed home in my 350z at the time. The next day, His dad showed up and called my buddy down stairs for the obvious tire tracks, beer bottles, etc. When he asked "who slept in my bed" my buddy reluctantly said he threw a party for me and wanted me to have somewhere to sleep. (There wernt many other good places because the whole house was pretty rowdy). My buddy was pleased to hear what he found in his room. He found my socks (couldn't find them for the life of me) and a Gatorade bottle next to his bed with alcohol in it. He also managed to find one of his work shirts, that i had used for a cum rag... I never heard the end of it after that day. When his dad was home i would stay far, far away and never look back. Fast foward a couple years, everything worked out well and i never had to apologize or anything. Good times.

That's the short version?

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by bimmette

That's the short version?

I tried!

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by natedog7700

I tried!

Try harder:
My buddy threw me a bday party at his house. I had a chick in his dad's bed and used his work shirt as a cum rag. The dad found it the next day. Avoided the dad for a long time after.



My confession: I don't like wordiness.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Try harder:
My buddy threw me a bday party at his house. I had a chick in his dad's bed and used his work shirt as a cum rag. The dad found it the next day. Avoided the dad for a long time after.



My confession: I don't like wordiness.

Pulled a Clinton on my buddy's dad's shirt at a party. The end.

[PoorLurker]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Pulled a Clinton on my buddy's dad's shirt at a party. The end.

Party. Nut. Not my shirt. Avoid eye contact.

Are we getting close to Hemingway's 10 word stories?

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by PoorLurker

Party. Nut. Not my shirt. Avoid eye contact.

Are we getting close to Hemingway's 10 word stories?

I saw. I conquered. I came.

Edit: We should have a haiku contest on this topic.

[jtodd_fl]

Friend's dad's shirt at party
My semen truly soiled it
I cannot see him

[PoorLurker]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I saw. I conquered. I came.

Edit: We should have a haiku contest on this topic.

I conquered. I came. Shirt smelled.

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Try harder:
My buddy threw me a bday party at his house. I had a chick in his dad's bed and used his work shirt as a cum rag. The dad found it the next day. Avoided the dad for a long time after.



My confession: I don't like wordiness.

Ohh really? Haven't noticed!