[SakhirM4]

One of my projects that came to mind was when I converted my 1970 2002 from an automatic to a 4-speed. The 2002 sat with the front wheels on ramps, while I was under the car on my back, trying to get the automatic to come loose after I had loosened everything. I pulled and I pulled and nothing happened! About the time I was ready to give up and try it at a later time, I decided to give one final Herculean effort. What I hadn’t planned for was what I was going to do if and when it did come loose. Yep, you’re right .. you guessed it!!! The final pull worked and down it came. Kathunk!!.. a 150lb automatic transmission right onto my chest. Amazingly and despite my stupidity, I was unhurt, but now trapped under the 2002 with a transmission pinned to my chest.

After a few minutes of contemplating my situation, I decided to call for help. I yelled .. no help. Yelled louder .. no help. Ahh .. screaming worked!! My wife came running to my aide, greeted by the site of her screaming husband lying under the car covered in red fluid, with a transmission pinned to his chest. When she finally realized that what she was looking at was transmission fluid and not blood, and I was not hurt, we both laughed until the tears flowed... oh yeah, then we moved the transmission.

Ever have one of those days?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

One of my projects that came to mind was when I converted my 1970 2002 from an automatic to a 4-speed. The 2002 sat with the front wheels on ramps, while I was under the car on my back, trying to get the automatic to come loose after I had loosened everything. I pulled and I pulled and nothing happened! About the time I was ready to give up and try it at a later time, I decided to give one final Herculean effort. What I hadn’t planned for was what I was going to do if and when it did come loose. Yep, you’re right .. you guessed it!!! The final pull worked and down it came. Kathunk!!.. a 150lb automatic transmission right onto my chest. Amazingly and despite my stupidity, I was unhurt, but now trapped under the 2002 with a transmission pinned to my chest.

After a few minutes of contemplating my situation, I decided to call for help. I yelled .. no help. Yelled louder .. no help. Ahh .. screaming worked!! My wife came running to my aide, greeted by the site of her screaming husband lying under the car covered in red fluid, with a transmission pinned to his chest. When she finally realized that what she was looking at was transmission fluid and not blood, and I was not hurt, we both laughed until the tears flowed... oh yeah, then we moved the transmission.

Ever have one of those days?

Hahahaahahahahahahahah

Hahahaahahahahahahahah hahaha

One more.

Hahahhahhahahahahahahaha

That's a great one!

I still haven't learned, every accident I've ever had has been idiotic. Everyone else gets hurt in accidents that involve a bear, or a car, or a vicious beast, I fell from a roof thanks to a rat (the official line still is that I had to make a quick exit due to sudden pout of thirst), I stabbed myself twice while doing the dishes, and now of course the bra injury. I really should be more careful while doing things all women can do.

[F32Fleet]

Buddy bet me that l was no longer a good shot.

I got a little upset and he had the audacity to film it.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by F32Fleet

Buddy bet me that l was no longer a good shot.

I got a little upset and he had the audacity to film it.

That's an epic movie!

[1MOREMOD]

One of the best top 5 easy

[1MOREMOD]

I was using my bench grinder and caught my sweatshirt on fire as my wife came home and opened the garage door. Turned and waved no clue I was lit up.

[F32Fleet]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

I was using my bench grinder and caught my sweatshirt on fire as my wife came home and opened the garage door. Turned and waved no clue I was lit up.

bwhahahaha!!!

[Dog Face Pony Soldier]

I have so many stories of doing stupid crap I honestly don't know where to start. Just know you're not alone. Get well soon Lups.

[jgoens]

Originally Posted by Lups

I woke up this morning feeling like I might have done a few things wrong last night.

I got home late, I was tired as hell. All I wanted was to fall in to the bed naked, and sleep it all off.

I had a dress on, with a zipper I just couldn't find, or open, so I, in my genius stage decided just to pop off the bra since it was a front opening one, and then to slip it out, sleep in the stupid dress and be all rosy in the morning.

So I tried it, but the weirdo back of the dress got tangled to the confusing back of the bra, and since I'm the most patient person in the world, I decided using raw force was the way to go.

I don't know anyone besides me, who has ended up with a black eye due to a stripping attempt, but that's what I did. I pulled the damn bra breaking the dress and hit my eye with the wiring.

Then, of course I got more violent and decided to disarm my opponent, and I got a real fucking 5mm stab wound in my arm because apparently bras are indestructible.

Since I learned from my previous mistakes, I thought it would be a good idea, and I got my cooking knife out, I wanted to kill the dress, and the stupid tit holder.

I was the DD last night, so I did that all while completely sober, but in the morning I got weird looks from the spouse.

" You got in to a fight?"

" No"

" You want to explain your dress and your eye and that bandage?"

" No. I wouldn't ever share that with anyone."


I truly hope one member here has endured a situation of Yes I'm Stupid, like I have all day. I can't even lie and tell anyone who asks something, I just confess since this whole thing was so damn stupid, it was all on me but I rather lose all my cool points here than tell my husband how incompetent as a person I am.

So, anyone? You've been stupid?

Cool story bro.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

And yet, here WE are.

Went skiing in HS. Brought lots of mind-altering substances, partook of most of them. Remember vaguely being put in shower, clothes and all, because I was sweating like a pig. It was hypoglycemia, but none of my friends know wtf that shit is.

Next morning, as I'm nursing a serious hangover, friends are telling me I tried to take shots of Vaseline, as in real injections with my insulin needles. 'Bullshit!!' (looks in Vaseline container, sees all the needle holes)

Care to elaborate on the substances? You know I always like to talk that.


My stupid thing was when I decided I wanted to take a bullet from a shell and hit it with a hammer. It went off, right into my thumb and was loud as fuck. Never did get that bullet. Actually, that's only one thing I have done stupid. People tell me I'm pretty smart and can figure many things out, but not doing stupid things is not one of them

[Lups]

Originally Posted by jgoens

Cool story bro.


Care to elaborate on the substances? You know I always like to talk that.


My stupid thing was when I decided I wanted to take a bullet from a shell and hit it with a hammer. It went off, right into my thumb and was loud as fuck. Never did get that bullet. Actually, that's only one thing I have done stupid. People tell me I'm pretty smart and can figure many things out, but not doing stupid things is not one of them

Hahaha!

I'm really good at emergencies and I don't panic ever. That said, when shit gets personal, and I get slighted by some girly shit which is clearly below me like a zipper and a bra, I have been known to overreact slightly, just a bit.

I can build a house without a scratch, I can cut down trees, I'm so manly my chest hair has chest hair!

But then I manage to get a black eye while trying to go to bed. The biggest victim in this all was my fragile ego, but these fuckups are too good not to share in the internet, I still won't tell the spouse since he will laugh at me for years again.

[MKSixer]

Lups this is classic!

My addition is this:

As a young kid I wanted to be a motocross rider. As such I got my bike and jumped everything I could find by building mounds and ramps in the back yard. The ramp of discussion today was build up from a 2x6 but I still wasn't getting the kind of air I wanted and continued to increase the angle. I finally increased it enough using the cinder blocks on hand but ended up with about 18 inches of overhang.

In order to get the best possible run I placed it at the end of our 40 yard driveway and head to the very end to begin my first run. I take off build my speed up and hit the ramp. For the first millisecond I'm on a high as I think the perfect jump is about to take place. The next thing I remember is waking up on the ground about 10-15 yards from the jump point.

From my brother: After you took off, the ramp flipped over because of the angle and hit you in the back of the head knocking you out, mid-air. You landed out of control, veered to the left and hit the gum tree and finally ground to a halt.

I had a massive hematoma on my forehead and one on the back of my head as well as massive bruises, scrapes, and a couple of light lacerations.

It was at this moment I discovered my true love of cars.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Lups this is classic!

My addition is this:

As a young kid I wanted to be a motocross rider. As such I got my bike and jumped everything I could find by building mounds and ramps in the back yard. The ramp of discussion today was build up from a 2x6 but I still wasn't getting the kind of air I wanted and continued to increase the angle. I finally increased it enough using the cinder blocks on hand but ended up with about 18 inches of overhang.

In order to get the best possible run I placed it at the end of our 40 yard driveway and head to the very end to begin my first run. I take off build my speed up and hit the ramp. For the first millisecond I'm on a high as I think the perfect jump is about to take place. The next thing I remember is waking up on the ground about 10-15 yards from the jump point.

From my brother: After you took off, the ramp flipped over because of the angle and hit you in the back of the head knocking you out, mid-air. You landed out of control, veered to the left and hit the gum tree and finally ground to a halt.

I had a massive hematoma on my forehead and one on the back of my head as well as massive bruises, scrapes, and a couple of light lacerations.

It was at this moment I discovered my true love of cars.

Hahahaahahahahahahahah

Well done with the ability to let love flow on! Also, well written story, I could totally picture your brother panicking, as I could picture Shakira's wife on their scene. Both of them were a joy to read for the second time too.

I'm still amazed of my own stupidity. The whole incident was just stupid, but then the absolutely nessesary dress cutting to pieces in the end really brought home the point of me being not so very smart when tired and wounded in a battle. As you can see, I have already started to find words suitable for use when ever I tell the hubby what really happened.

Battle, attack, vicious arm stabbing device, I'm working on this.

[wdb]

I used to climb the same tree almost every day after school. Over time I developed a very carefully designed plan for scaling it and for coming back down. Always the same moves. The final descent move was to grab a horizontal branch about 10 feet off the ground and swing from it, hanging by my hands, then drop to the ground.

I did this for a year or so. I was young, growing, getting bigger and heavier.

One day I climbed the tree, sat there for a while, started back down, grabbed the branch for my final tarzan swing move. The branch broke clean off. I fell straight down. Since I was swinging, my legs were out in front of me and I landed right on my ass. The branch, still firmly in my hands, followed; it thumped me, hard, on the top of my head.

I sat there on the ground with a knot on my head, a very sore tailbone, a bruised ass, and a very bruised ego.

[SakhirM4]

Originally Posted by wdb

I used to climb the same tree almost every day after school. Over time I developed a very carefully designed plan for scaling it and for coming back down. Always the same moves. The final descent move was to grab a horizontal branch about 10 feet off the ground and swing from it, hanging by my hands, then drop to the ground.

I did this for a year or so. I was young, growing, getting bigger and heavier.

One day I climbed the tree, sat there for a while, started back down, grabbed the branch for my final tarzan swing move. The branch broke clean off. I fell straight down. Since I was swinging, my legs were out in front of me and I landed right on my ass. The branch, still firmly in my hands, followed; it thumped me, hard, on the top of my head.

I sat there on the ground with a knot on my head, a very sore tailbone, a bruised ass, and a very bruised ego.

That is similar to one of my dumb moves when I was about 12 years old. We had this tree in the yard that had a branch that was the perfect height for riding under on my bike and I could grab the branch and let it pull me off the bike. Then I would see how far my bike would roll before it fell over.

Of course, this became a competition with myself to make the bike go farther and farther each time. One day I was determined to set a "new world's record". I started as far back as I could; got the bike going as fast as I could; and grabbed the branch ...... except, I didn't grab the branch. I was going so fast that when I grabbed for the branch, it knocked my hands backward and I hit the ground in a totally horizontal position. Never saw how far the bike went and broke my back in the process. Needless to say, my old record still stands as there were no more attempts - ever

[Lups]

Originally Posted by wdb

I used to climb the same tree almost every day after school. Over time I developed a very carefully designed plan for scaling it and for coming back down. Always the same moves. The final descent move was to grab a horizontal branch about 10 feet off the ground and swing from it, hanging by my hands, then drop to the ground.

I did this for a year or so. I was young, growing, getting bigger and heavier.

One day I climbed the tree, sat there for a while, started back down, grabbed the branch for my final tarzan swing move. The branch broke clean off. I fell straight down. Since I was swinging, my legs were out in front of me and I landed right on my ass. The branch, still firmly in my hands, followed; it thumped me, hard, on the top of my head.

I sat there on the ground with a knot on my head, a very sore tailbone, a bruised ass, and a very bruised ego.

At my grandparents summer home (which was near to the site of the bee sighting) I built myself a diving board or what ever the word. It was a great way to jump to the lake and to avoid the snakes. I did that all summer long until I was nine then my grandma died and my lovely grandpa banned us all from the cabin.

When I got my first leave while in the army, I ran off to the cabin that was only a few hundred km's away from the base . The first thing I did was to strip, run for my board, the board broke, and hit me in the back while I landed in the shallow water that I could've sworn less than a minute earlier was at least five meters deep...

I went back to the base with badly bruised ego, a sore back and ass, but I did grill all my meals using that traitorous plank.

Amazing what 20 kilos and 10 years can do.

Well done Wdb!

[Sea-Tac]

I was putting in a short throw shifter in a Porsche I had a number of years ago. I had to take the gear shift off first to install the kit hardware.

I pulled and pulled on that thing for about 30 mins. Wouldn't budge. Then, as you, gave one last mighty pull and WHAMO! I ended up punching myself under my chin with the old gear shift. Bit my lip and tongue...blood all over the place. I looked like i was in a bar room fight for about a week.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Sea-Tac

I was putting in a short throw shifter in a Porsche I had a number of years ago. I had to take the gear shift off first to install the kit hardware.

I pulled and pulled on that thing for about 30 mins. Wouldn't budge. Then, as you, gave one last mighty pull and WHAMO! I ended up punching myself under my chin with the old gear shift. Bit my lip and tongue...blood all over the place. I looked like i was in a bar room fight for about a week.

I'm beginning to think maybe, in some rare cases raw power is not the best answer, but I'm still going to stick to researching that as the first option.

I

[Lups]

Originally Posted by SakhirM4

That is similar to one of my dumb moves when I was about 12 years old. We had this tree in the yard that had a branch that was the perfect height for riding under on my bike and I could grab the branch and let it pull me off the bike. Then I would see how far my bike would roll before it fell over.

Of course, this became a competition with myself to make the bike go farther and farther each time. One day I was determined to set a "new world's record". I started as far back as I could; got the bike going as fast as I could; and grabbed the branch ...... except, I didn't grab the branch. I was going so fast that when I grabbed for the branch, it knocked my hands backward and I hit the ground in a totally horizontal position. Never saw how far the bike went and broke my back in the process. Needless to say, my old record still stands as there were no more attempts - ever

I'm really sorry you got hurt but I laughed so hard at this one my shirt got wet with tears. That's a new record for me!

[jaye944]

are you joking, nothing cooler than cruising the strip with the top down, with a Molson in one hand and a joint in the other, seeing a cop car , yelling over at them "Hey, catch me if you can piggy piggy <SNORT>"

Originally Posted by Lups

There is no excuse for driving under influence if not to save a pregnant lady and the hospital is in the end of an abandoned road.

I'm all for drinking, and I'm all for driving. But like milk and coffee, I only approve them when separated.

[jaye944]

The reason you own a BMW, for that overwhelming sense of entitlement one gets when driving one's ultimate machine

Originally Posted by jaye944

are you joking, nothing cooler than cruising the strip with the top down, with a Molson in one hand and a joint in the other, seeing a cop car , yelling over at them "Hey, catch me if you can piggy piggy <SNORT>"

[Lups]

Originally Posted by jaye944

are you joking, nothing cooler than cruising the strip with the top down, with a Molson in one hand and a joint in the other, seeing a cop car , yelling over at them "Hey, catch me if you can piggy piggy <SNORT>"

Even as a joke, no. Absolutely not. We old folks set a standard here with our words to the next generation of posters, communities like this one has to have limits.

[jgoens]

Originally Posted by Sea-Tac

I was putting in a short throw shifter in a Porsche I had a number of years ago. I had to take the gear shift off first to install the kit hardware.

I pulled and pulled on that thing for about 30 mins. Wouldn't budge. Then, as you, gave one last mighty pull and WHAMO! I ended up punching myself under my chin with the old gear shift. Bit my lip and tongue...blood all over the place. I looked like i was in a bar room fight for about a week.

I did a similar thing just last year--was putting a lawnmower blade back on. Had the mower sideways and was cranking on the bolt with a breaker bar and was putting all my force and quite a bit of weight into it figuring it needed to be really torqued on (don't want a blade flying off).

And there it went...socket slipped off and I took a face shot on the wheel of the mower. Nice cut on the lip in two places. Told everybody I got jumped by five guys and they said that's all that happened? A bunch of people believed it.