[spazzyfry123]

We’ve got our first due in about three weeks.

I think I may need more shotguns to “protect” the little girl.

[Yugo]

Raising little ones right is the most important and rewarding job we as dads have. Putting them on the right path and teaching them to be good human beings.

It definitely comes with it's challenges, but I ll gladly take them on a daily basis. Especially knowing how time flies by and they are only little once.

[Rahul718]

After reading some posts from the older fathers here, I feel a little selfish for my previous post. I’ve only been a dad for 2 years so I have a to learn and patience is the first thing on my list, not even from a parent perspective but just as an individual. As frustrating as it is, I love seeing how their personalities change everyday and how my son has a natural inclination to cars without me even pushing him in that direction. He’s basically a mini me.

Some great advice given here.

[floridaorange]

Congratulations!

We have 2 healthy boys - praise God!

My 8 yr old is in school my 2 yr old goes 3 days a week from 9am-1pm.

Babies have to have really full bellies to sleep for extended periods of time. They can't speak yet so they communicate through crying (of course).

Perspective can be very hard to come by during this season of broken sleep and work/family balance. Try to put yourself in your kids shoes and allow yourself to become tender.

Its all by design and this time will bond you guys together like glue if you make the space for it vs trying to force your desires and wishes on the situation.

Relief looks a bit different for everyone - but here's what worked for me.

Workout like your life depends on it for an hour every day. Learn how to meditate - "transcendental" is a good one, lookup the David Lynch Foundation on YouTube and do some research. Plan date nights and find someone who can watch the kids once a week or a few times a month. Watch your diet - you'll want to use food for energy not comfort. 1 cheat day is what I do.

Plan for some future getaways - you and your wife will have that to look forward to.

If you workout hard though you will sleep
more efficiently.

Those are my ramblings - my church family also helped us - going through that stuff with others is kind of what it's all about.... taking in on solo - not so much.

[Mingwan]

Wasn’t feeling the first kid so I left him with his moms. Second one showed great potential so he got sent to a harsh Chinese boarding school and will get him back as a teenager

[Angry Ketchup]

Originally Posted by 2000cs

I miss my kids; whatever you have to go through to be with yours, do that.

This.

12.5 hours of travel today so I could spend 3 of the best hours of my life with my Princess. Done every other weekend now for 8 years.... that's after I emigrated 4k miles back then to a shithole island I can't stand just to fight for the 'privilege'.

But, as 2000cs said... whatever you have to do.. do it. They deserve it and personally I wouldn't have lived this long with the regret of not doing so.

F4J

[BimmerDimmer6]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

Wasn’t feeling the first kid so I left him with his moms. Second one showed great potential so he got sent to a harsh Chinese boarding school and will get him back as a teenager

Blocked

[Mo2002]

Expecting our first in a month. Trying to get as much sleep as I can right now.

[rcracin]

Originally Posted by Mo2002

Expecting our first in a month. Trying to get as much sleep as I can right now.

Won’t help LOL

[Noneya]

If you become a parent having expectations of wonderfully thoughtful children who will understand what you do for them and will eventually "repay" for your hard work, you're likely going to be very disappointed. If instead you go into it expecting nothing and understanding that you chose this and you're doing all of it freely and without any expectations of a quid pro quo, then you'll have a really good time. Growing humans is a fun experience.

[chowser51]

Enjoy while you can. Kids grow up so fast these days. My daughter just turned 18 this week. My oldest is 29 and has three of his own (4,2,7mo). I still have a 13yr old and 2yr old to finish raising. At this rate I am never retiring. I can retire in 964 days but that doesn’t look likely.

[Alfisti]

I started a similar thread a few years ago, but less in regards to babies and more into just being run of fmy feet by the kids.

Mine are 8 and 4, and to be frank, I am absolutely wrecked. I love my boys to death, would take a bullet for them without thinking, but I am just dead tired. TBH I did not enjoy the baby phase, it is utterly grueling and the lack of sleep and exercise led to weight gain and the weight gain led to a CPAP and more poor sleep. I have had one good night's sleep since my first was born, by good I mean put my head down, asleep within half an hr and awake 8 hrs later.

I've managed that once, without a lie.

We both work so needed a nanny share arrangement to help look after them and with COVID19 we are both home so no nanny. They are, again, to be frank, driving me absolutely mental.

The small one is a sweet boy, but whiny and I guess relies on me for entertainment. The big one is a much greater concern, he is either antagonising the smaller one or lying, or sneaking treats or fighting us n every aspect of life.

Then there's the parenting and being on the same page as your spouse. My wife is your stereotypical white upper middle class woman, too busy spoiling and being the kid's best friend to notice he is spiraling out of control. We argue bitterly over the eldest, for 5 years now I have correctly predicted his behaviors deteriorating and I continue to forecast trouble whilst she continues to publicly defend him and leave discipline to me.

As babies, it's just a fog, an absolute fog. The relentless sleepless nights, the wife crumbling under the enormous pressure, the conflict as we are both wired. I frankly don't miss it.

I am tired, I am rattled, i am desperate for some alone time. Would i do it again? Yeah probably would, i think the small one will be ok and I am hoping to repair the widening gap between myself and the big one, but it is really hard work, really hard work.

Advice? Here's an unpopular one. Once you go back to work in an office, sleep in the basement and leave the nights to the wife. Hear me out. When you come home you are therefore relatively fresh and can grab the baby, help with dinner and send the wife off to relax totally. Divide and conquer. Women will freak out at the suggestion but truth be told you're near useless at night anyways (once she has healed up) and the alternative is you come home ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED and now you're both fucking miserable like we were.

[rcracin]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

I started a similar thread a few years ago, but less in regards to babies and more into just being run of fmy feet by the kids.

Mine are 8 and 4, and to be frank, I am absolutely wrecked. I love my boys to death, would take a bullet for them without thinking, but I am just dead tired. TBH I did not enjoy the baby phase, it is utterly grueling and the lack of sleep and exercise led to weight gain and the weight gain led to a CPAP and more poor sleep. I have had one good night's sleep since my first was born, by good I mean put my head down, asleep within half an hr and awake 8 hrs later.

I've managed that once, without a lie.

We both work so needed a nanny share arrangement to help look after them and with COVID19 we are both home so no nanny. They are, again, to be frank, driving me absolutely mental.

The small one is a sweet boy, but whiny and I guess relies on me for entertainment. The big one is a much greater concern, he is either antagonising the smaller one or lying, or sneaking treats or fighting us n every aspect of life.

Then there's the parenting and being on the same page as your spouse. My wife is your stereotypical white upper middle class woman, too busy spoiling and being the kid's best friend to notice he is spiraling out of control. We argue bitterly over the eldest, for 5 years now I have correctly predicted his behaviors deteriorating and I continue to forecast trouble whilst she continues to publicly defend him and leave discipline to me.

As babies, it's just a fog, an absolute fog. The relentless sleepless nights, the wife crumbling under the enormous pressure, the conflict as we are both wired. I frankly don't miss it.

I am tired, I am rattled, i am desperate for some alone time. Would i do it again? Yeah probably would, i think the small one will be ok and I am hoping to repair the widening gap between myself and the big one, but it is really hard work, really hard work.

Advice? Here's an unpopular one. Once you go back to work in an office, sleep in the basement and leave the nights to the wife. Hear me out. When you come home you are therefore relatively fresh and can grab the baby, help with dinner and send the wife off to relax totally. Divide and conquer. Women will freak out at the suggestion but truth be told you're near useless at night anyways (once she has healed up) and the alternative is you come home ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED and now you're both fucking miserable like we were.

You’d legit have another kid with this experience? What’s the benefit? You’ve only described misery and terrible parenting from your wife. I wouldn’t want to do that to a kid.

[ragingpanda]

Originally Posted by rcracin

You’d legit have another kid with this experience? What’s the benefit? You’ve only described misery and terrible parenting from your wife. I wouldn’t want to do that to a kid.

It is politically incorrect to say that you wouldn't have them if you could go back.

[rcracin]

Apologies, I think I read that incorrectly. I thought you meant you'd be willing to have a 3rd kid.

But on the same token, no judgement if in hindsight you say you wish you hadn't have had kids. The big thing lately is people expressing regrets on having their second kid.

Sorry again.

[scostu]

Originally Posted by jpy1980

I never seen this type of thread before so I'll start.

I just had my second kid during this pandemic and man oh man is it tiring!

I also have a 3 year old who discovered the lovely task of waking up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed onto their bed. I haven't had a good nights rest since June!

PLUS WE ARE STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY DUE TO THIS PANDEMIC!

Also, I want a truck but my wife says no! BAH! I can't have my F80 and a truck because "that's wasteful"

Please guys, commiserate with me so I can feel better! =P

CHEERS!

Won’t get easier til they start VPK. Invest in a really good fingernail brush.

You will be scrubbing poop out from under your fingernails for the next several years.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by rcracin

Apologies, I think I read that incorrectly. I thought you meant you'd be willing to have a 3rd kid.

But on the same token, no judgement if in hindsight you say you wish you hadn't have had kids. The big thing lately is people expressing regrets on having their second kid.

Sorry again.

My fault, worded it poorly. Yeah no 3rd kid, no fucking way, i need to repair the damage i've done to myself (lose some weight, get some sleep). But yeah it was worth it, my little one was stroking my face for 10 minutes yesterday, it's hard to replace that.

[nyalpine90]

father of 2
my son is 4 will be starting preK that will be interesting, another topic
my daughter is 1 and i been working from home for since March and its like having 3 jobs lol
im dead tired by 8pm.
but i love every second and its very very hard working from home and raising children.

[shimmy23]

I love being a dad. I have a 4yo and 6yo. Imagine accomplishing all your "firsts" all over again. The feeling of excitement and pure awesomeness is relived and even stronger. Seriously! Seeing you'd kids face as they experience things for the first time is priceless.

I'll have to admit. I had friends that complained about changing diapers, crying, lack of sleep, etc. I never really gave those things a ton of thought. It was all part of the joy of being a parent.

As others have mentioned, time flies by all too quickly. Live up every moment with you kids... even if it is singing to them while changing their diaper.

[MPOWER5266]

Hi, Im Nick. I am 37 years old and my wife and I have boy/girl twins due later this week. It was nice knowing you all.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by MPOWER5266

Hi, Im Nick. I am 37 years old and my wife and I have boy/girl twins due later this week. It was nice knowing you all.

Haha you aren't wrong! Wife and I had twins 12 years ago next month. First nine months were spent in the NICU. Multiples is a harder road than singles with a multiplicity that is hard to explain.

Lean HARD into each other, not at each other. This will have much more context soon

[MPOWER5266]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

Haha you aren't wrong! Wife and I had twins 12 years ago next month. First nine months were spent in the NICU. Multiples is a harder road than singles with a multiplicity that is hard to explain.

Lean HARD into each other, not at each other. This will have much more context soon

Everything is looking good so I am hoping we won't have NICU time. My wife is highly organized and I am good at logistics so we have a plan in place. I imagine it will work great for like 6 hours. Haha