[RMachuca3d]

Sorry you're going through this, as someone whos been married twice (first and only divorce was way young thankfully, so it was a pretty clean cut, minus the emotional scars her cold bloodedness left behind) i can sympathize on the emotional scale of how gut wrenching it is, particularly when it is the other party that wants it.

Hang in there man, it'll blow over.

[Tambohamilton]

I can be of no use with advice, unfortunately.

But, my parents are separated (technically still married though). They split when I was in my early 20s, about 11 years ago. Until that point in my life, I'd assumed that the way their relationship was was 'normal'. I've spent the last 10 years or so realising that this or that thing that happened in my teenage years wasn't normal or good; it was because they were totally done with each other, but they were sticking around 'for the kids'. What a waste of time/life! I wish they'd just split up when they had reached the end of their happy marriage; us kids would have adapted and they could have had happy lives.

Sure, I've got an adult perspective on it now, but I genuinely think that in my/their case, that would have been the best course of action. I don't blame them though, because I know they did what they did with our best interests in mind. It would have made their separation easier too, because they wouldn't have had the years of resentment to deal with when they set about dividing up finances/assets etc.

Good luck with it.

[UncleWede]

My first marriage lasted less than a year. She had someone else's child

My dad handled the divorce. She simply wanted the station wagon, I could keep the new Jeep. She paid the payments for about 8 months. I didn't feel right after one
We lived in an apartment which I kept, she moved out after about 5 months pregnant

I truly consider myself a 1%er here. Don't expect this to happen to you.

I still give her a hug if I see her. She is married to the father and a grandma at this point. I have a wife of 20+ years and 3 sons (1 of my loin)

The point is, life goes on

[TheFanatic]

Speaking from someone who has watched multiple friends and family go through divorce, DO NOT MOVE OUT, if you do the case for abandonment can be easily made, I've watched 3 of my friends and my Dad move out just like you have, and get royally screwed by doing so, talk to your lawyer before doing anything.

In divorce the men will overwhelmingly get screwed over, don't let her think she's doing you any favors, there is a reason she is divorcing you and it isn't because she cares.

Don't listen to anything she says or trust anything she says. It will be used against you in most cases.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but you need to have a mindset change until after the courts have decided. trying to make it easy for everyone will only give her the power to take what she wants and have you pay her what she wants.

[nick46]

Just had a bright idea on how to pay for the imminent divorce!
A crowd funding page . What do you all recon?

[Tambohamilton]

I'll give you a quid. That ought to cover it, right?

[Alfisti]

My wife is a divorce lawyer, her advice, for this area at least, is absolutely do not, under any circumstance, move out. The moment you do that you are giving serious ground and it WILL be used against you, especially re. custody.

Stay put, grind it out.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

My wife is a divorce lawyer, her advice, for this area at least, is absolutely do not, under any circumstance, move out. The moment you do that you are giving serious ground and it WILL be used against you, especially re. custody.

Stay put, grind it out.

Frick me, its all becoming so clear now.

[Alfisti]

Penny has dropped eh

[avantegardestyle]

Originally Posted by Torgus

Hire a divorce lawyer yesterday.

Don't take advice about divorce from a car forum.

Jesus.

Yes he should hie a dovirce lawyer

No your argument to not take advice from a car Forum is rubbish.
lots of men here who have lived their lives, the anonymity and screen name allows men to tell their stories, offer unbiased advice to someone who is/ may be going through what they may have gone through.

This may be a car forum, but there are human beings here with all levels of Wisdom and experience.


Here is my advice, and this is coming from a Christian Minister

If you are NOT religious..........and you can avoid it. DO NOT GET MARRIED
just dont. Modern marriage has no benefit in it for men, none whasover, you pt the mist in it, and when it falls apart, through no fault of your own, you have the most to lose.................It fools gold

[shoei]

Originally Posted by avantegardestyle

Yes he should hie a dovirce lawyer

No your argument to not take advice from a car Forum is rubbish.
lots of men here who have lived their lives, the anonymity and screen name allows men to tell their stories, offer unbiased advice to someone who is/ may be going through what they may have gone through.

This may be a car forum, but there are human beings here with all levels of Wisdom and experience.


Here is my advice, and this is coming from a Christian Minister

If you are NOT religious..........and you can avoid it. DO NOT GET MARRIED
just dont. Modern marriage has no benefit in it for men, none whasover, you pt the mist in it, and when it falls apart, through no fault of your own, you have the most to lose.................It fools gold

I don't have much experience in this field. Marriage+divorce that is. I can be made available for baptisms, bar/bat mitzvahs and sermons. Can't guarantee authenticity or normalcy but I'm down to do a wedding.

Anyways. What the good minister is basically saying is -

"It's cheaper to keep her." - Judas Iscariot

[Torgus]

Originally Posted by avantegardestyle

Yes he should hie a dovirce lawyer

No your argument to not take advice from a car Forum is rubbish.
lots of men here who have lived their lives, the anonymity and screen name allows men to tell their stories, offer unbiased advice to someone who is/ may be going through what they may have gone through.

This may be a car forum, but there are human beings here with all levels of Wisdom and experience.

Asking any public internet 'forum' for legal advise is iffy at best is my point. I don't care if it is a car forum, reddit, facebook group, etc. you really have no way of knowing if the advice you are getting is sound. The same anonymity means you could be getting good advice or complete rubbish or just outdated information. Also each state can handle divorce differently so what worked for one guy in CA might not work for someone in NY.

If you need legal advice, you go to someone knowledgeable and skilled in the specific area of the law you are involved in your specific state(s). In this case, a divorce lawyer would be his best bet who has been practicing in his state for a number of years. It is not free, you pay for their advice and assistance.

I guarantee that his lawyer will tell him not to take the advice of internet strangers who have never even passed a bar exam. Example: People have been through it once or twice or three times think they have experience with divorce. This guy's job for 30 years is doing this day in and day out, he is experienced. He knows how things have changed from 20 years ago when ILIKEBMWS got divorced in MN from his whore wife trebek.



Again OP don't take advice from internet strangers. Myself included Hire a lawyer and listen to them.

[shoei]

All kidding aside, op knows to delete this thread before proceeding with divorce proceedings, yes? All this can be used against you. Words can be twisted to match someone else's rhetoric.

"He's a part of a forum where the members are scamming single mothers and throwing babies into shark infested waters. They even have gofundme's for these rituals."

[Humdizzle]

sucks but why are you leaving ? to be a nice guy ?

get a lawyer. kick her out and live with your daughter.

[nick46]

Well the hardest bit has been done. We told our daughter today, and it was like having a massive weight lifted. Yes she is pretty sad about it all, but I had a long chat with her and have reassured her that everything will be ok and that I will always be her daddy and she will always be my little girl, and she will be able to see me whenever she likes.
What people say about kids resilience is right - she dealt with it far better than I expected. Hopefully that will continue. I've just said to her that its really important to talk about her feelings, and when she has questions then just ask and we will do our best to answer them. I've found talking to people has been a great help, whether it be friends, family, work colleagues or even just posting on here.
I've had a very constructive meeting with a solicitor, and now my daughter knows I'm feeling pretty positive about it all. Hopefully it'll all go smoothly.

[RnmEvo9]

Once your divorce has been finalized, do you plan on marrying again lol?

[nick46]

Originally Posted by RnmEvo9

Once your divorce has been finalized, do you plan on marrying again lol?

Not as long as I've got a hole in my ass!

[RnmEvo9]

Smart man.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by nick46

Not as long as I've got a hole in my ass!

[Alfisti]

You still sound like you are leaving. I am telling you, that is a mistake. Stay in your own damn house.

[nick46]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

You still sound like you are leaving. I am telling you, that is a mistake. Stay in your own damn house.

Yes, I've had a very constructive meeting with a solicitor and i guess our laws must be slightly different to what you guys have over the pond. I've been told it won't make any difference to the divorce at all. I won't lose any claim on the house.
So as soon as a suitable place comes up, I'm off out of it. As it happens I've found an ideal place nearby. Just waiting to hear back from the agent. Fingers crossed its still available.

[heitzke]

Originally Posted by nick46

Not as long as I've got a hole in my ass!

I wish I had learned that lesson with my first, it took me two to realize it wasn't happening again.