[carve]

Originally Posted by E92Atlanta

.

But, boy I thought I was selfish until I read some of the replies in here.

If you want kids and have them, or don't want them and don't have them, you're looking out for your own self-interest either way. They're both "selfish", and there's nothing wrong with that. So you didn't want kids and had them anyway, and consider yourself some kind of martyr, above everyone else who is doing what they want to do, for enduring it? If you feel like you're falling on your sword and doing your duty for raising your kid, I feel sorry for it. Don't get me wrong though...it's far better than having it and not raising it. Being child-free is only "selfish", in the traditional negative since of the word, if you have a child but choose to not care for it or care for it insufficiently.

[KingOfJericho]

I spent the better part of this past weekend laughing at the funny stuff my daughter was doing. It was awesome. Kids are a friggin' riot!

[John 070]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

I spent the better part of this past weekend laughing at the funny stuff my daughter was doing. It was awesome. Kids are a friggin' riot!

I have a newborn (well 4 mos.), and it's really amazing....people love their dogs, I know I do...but this is so different. Suddenly, opening up the checkbook seems justified.

The hospital billed my son $6575 (3 days in the hospital from birth) and sent it to collections saying he had no insurance. No duh, there is a 2 wk. window because it takes time to get the documents to the health care. I told them to resubmit it twice, and finally said you do what you want, I'm not paying it.

Our coinsurance is $370. It finally got billed properly March 1. Normally I would feel annoyance at having to pay $370 for something this late after the fact, but with a baby I don't.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by John 070

I have a newborn (well 4 mos.), and it's really amazing....people love their dogs, I know I do...but this is so different. Suddenly, opening up the checkbook seems justified.

The hospital billed my son $6575 (3 days in the hospital from birth) and sent it to collections saying he had no insurance. No duh, there is a 2 wk. window because it takes time to get the documents to the health care. I told them to resubmit it twice, and finally said you do what you want, I'm not paying it.

Our coinsurance is $370. It finally got billed properly March 1. Normally I would feel annoyance at having to pay $370 for something this late after the fact, but with a baby I don't.

You're typically annoyed by having to pay 5% of a bill 3 months late?

Really? I guess it's good that your new baby makes it easier for you to settle your debts 3 months late. Someone should chalk that up as another point for having kids.

[KingOfJericho]

Not to derail this but on the subject of insurance, I was curious to see how much was paid by my insurance company for removing a polyp on my vocal cord. I was in the building for a total of three hours. The total amount billed was just over $35,000 and my insurance paid $5,900. Pretty remarkable. It makes you wonder... if I didn't have insurance, would they expect the full $35k? That seems crazy.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

Not to derail this but on the subject of insurance, I was curious to see how much was paid by my insurance company for removing a polyp on my vocal cord. I was in the building for a total of three hours. The total amount billed was just over $35,000 and my insurance paid $5,900. Pretty remarkable. It makes you wonder... if I didn't have insurance, would they expect the full $35k? That seems crazy.

they would accept it. But, if you tell them you have no insurance they immediately hand you off to an account manager of sorts. They have the ability to negotiate your bills. Typically you can get a 60% discount without batting an eye. Ask for more and you'll likely pay even less.

[DSB335d]

Originally Posted by Litos

I had a coworker like that, bless her heart...

she would tell me how her son was good at baseball and that scouts/colleges would come to his high school games to watch him play.

I would just nod and say, "that's really good, hope it all works out for him"

then he got a full ride to Rice, which is a big baseball powerhouse nationally.

in 2010 he was the winner of the Dick Howser Trophy and was Baseball America's College Player of the Year.

he was also named the Rawlings Sporting Goods National Player of the Year, Conference USA Male Athlete of the Year, District VII Player of the Year, First Team All-American, All-south Region, Most Outstanding Player of the NCAA Austin Regional, All-Conference USA, All-Conference USA Tournament, and Conference USA Academic Honor Roll.

he was drafted 6th overall in 2011 and now plays short stop and second base for the Nationals - he's only 23.....

you may have heard of him, his name is Anthony....

Wow that's a pretty cool story!

[carve]

[Litos]

Originally Posted by DSB335d

Wow that's a pretty cool story!

yeah, and I'd brush her off like "ok, your son plays baseball, woooptie freaking shit"....

i fully expect him to be playing at an all-star level in 2 or 3 years...

dude is a horse......

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by John 070

I have a newborn (well 4 mos.), and it's really amazing....people love their dogs, I know I do...but this is so different. Suddenly, opening up the checkbook seems justified.

The hospital billed my son $6575 (3 days in the hospital from birth) and sent it to collections saying he had no insurance. No duh, there is a 2 wk. window because it takes time to get the documents to the health care. I told them to resubmit it twice, and finally said you do what you want, I'm not paying it.

Our coinsurance is $370. It finally got billed properly March 1. Normally I would feel annoyance at having to pay $370 for something this late after the fact, but with a baby I don't.

Lol $370? Come on man. Opening checkbook seems justified?

I had to fork out $15k

[IEDEI]

most people have kids because

A) they think that's what they're supposed to do
B) they have nothing else to do
C) they think that's what they're supposed to do

you should answer this question yourself. the majority of people haven't a clue of what they want/think/or feel.....they just follow the masses like blind rats chasing garbage through the drainage system.

[grimlock]

^
In defense of the unexamined life, philosophizing takes time while life is a limited resource, and there is no guarantee you will find a better way than "just do it"
source: too much time spent philosophizing

[carve]

Originally Posted by IEDEI

most people have kids because

A) they think that's what they're supposed to do
B) they have nothing else to do
C) they think that's what they're supposed to do

you should answer this question yourself. the majority of people haven't a clue of what they want/think/or feel.....they just follow the masses like blind rats chasing garbage through the drainage system.

it's people like above that i'm referring to.

people who don't think about anything....just make dumb, uneducated assumptions about living.

you should question and think about everything...whether you are 20 or 70. for you to ridicule the OP for thinking about it only tells me that YOU are living an empty shallow life.

Thanks. I do feel a lot of people do things just out of cultural inertia. I tend to questions the sacred cows of every society...it's just my "but why?" nature.

I was just thinking about this: I have a pretty high sex-drive. If I had lived at any time up until the past 50 years or so, I'd have a ton of kids by default just by following my own natural desires...not for kids...but for sex. Nature has installed that need in my psyche because it was the most effective way to spread my genes, but it's interesting that the desire for a mini-me isn't even 10% as strong. Come on guys...am I all alone here? How much did you guys want to get laid vs wanting babies? Women...how about you? I imagine the maternal instinct is higher in women as it ensures the survival of her baby, but sex-drive is a huge part of it, too.

There was no need to consider "do I want kids? throughout history; it's just something that would happen, like death and taxes. Things are different now. It's not something we have to do, and won't be unless some pandemic wipes out most of the human population.

[grimlock]

^It's evident your desire to have kids is just not there.
The question I think is will you regret it, as that is the point of regret to make you head it off by considering your current actions on the future.
If so, could you 'make' yourself want kids? Probably not, BUT your desire to have kids might be changed by observing others. If even that doesn't work, yeah you will probably never enjoy it, so having them would be a purely rational thing like how much work will it be vs. how much they will take care of you in old age - but that's probably never going to happen.
If you don't like kids, you don't like kids!
BUT you could be mistaken about yourself, or you could change.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by grimlock

The question I think is will you regret it, as that is the point of regret to make you head it off by considering your current actions on the future.
If so, could you 'make' yourself want kids? Probably not, BUT your desire to have kids might be changed by observing others. If even that doesn't work, yeah you will probably never enjoy it, so having them would be a purely rational thing like how much work will it be vs. how much they will take care of you in old age - but that's probably never going to happen.
If you don't like kids, you don't like kids!
BUT you could be mistaken about yourself, or you could change.

grimlock, you just confused the hell out of me.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by grimlock

^It's evident your desire to have kids is just not there.
The question I think is will you regret it, as that is the point of regret to make you head it off by considering your current actions on the future.
If so, could you 'make' yourself want kids? Probably not, BUT your desire to have kids might be changed by observing others. If even that doesn't work, yeah you will probably never enjoy it, so having them would be a purely rational thing like how much work will it be vs. how much they will take care of you in old age - but that's probably never going to happen.
If you don't like kids, you don't like kids!
BUT you could be mistaken about yourself, or you could change.

Wahhh?

[BenchRacerYo]

Originally Posted by grimlock

^It's evident your desire to have kids is just not there.
The question I think is will you regret it, as that is the point of regret to make you head it off by considering your current actions on the future.
If so, could you 'make' yourself want kids? Probably not, BUT your desire to have kids might be changed by observing others. If even that doesn't work, yeah you will probably never enjoy it, so having them would be a purely rational thing like how much work will it be vs. how much they will take care of you in old age - but that's probably never going to happen.
If you don't like kids, you don't like kids!
BUT you could be mistaken about yourself, or you could change.

Rephrase, my friend.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

grimlock, you just confused the hell out of me.

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Wahhh?

I must be on Grimmy's wavelength cause i get what he's saying. I don't get the confusion.

Originally Posted by carve

Thanks. I do feel a lot of people do things just out of cultural inertia. I tend to questions the sacred cows of every society...it's just my "but why?" nature.

I was just thinking about this: I have a pretty high sex-drive. If I had lived at any time up until the past 50 years or so, I'd have a ton of kids by default just by following my own natural desires...not for kids...but for sex. Nature has installed that need in my psyche because it was the most effective way to spread my genes, but it's interesting that the desire for a mini-me isn't even 10% as strong. Come on guys...am I all alone here? How much did you guys want to get laid vs wanting babies? Women...how about you? I imagine the maternal instinct is higher in women as it ensures the survival of her baby, but sex-drive is a huge part of it, too.

There was no need to consider "do I want kids? throughout history; it's just something that would happen, like death and taxes. Things are different now. It's not something we have to do, and won't be unless some pandemic wipes out most of the human population.

You're not alone. Being alone is different than being around a bunch of people who won't admit it. I have a lot more to say on the subject but i don't want all the parents to bust out the torches and pitchforks..... besides, i don't have a child so my opinions are meaningless.

[John 070]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

Not to derail this but on the subject of insurance, I was curious to see how much was paid by my insurance company for removing a polyp on my vocal cord. I was in the building for a total of three hours. The total amount billed was just over $35,000 and my insurance paid $5,900. Pretty remarkable. It makes you wonder... if I didn't have insurance, would they expect the full $35k? That seems crazy.

lol that machine gun guy makes it sound like I'm a late payer, what a fool. It took the hospital over 3 mos. to get the bill right. If you look at this forum overall, I don't think there are all that many geniuses here. That's not to say there aren't people who are really good with say overhauling a N54.

No, this is the day of the HRA. If you were billed 35k, insurance settled at $5900, you could negotiate it down to probably around $3,500. Again, we as Americans are afraid to negotiate.

A routine straight forward pregnancy is 51k, with insurance paying as little as 13k and as much as 30k. You are judged or pre-qualified for sure.

[John 070]

Originally Posted by Nkc

Lol $370? Come on man. Opening checkbook seems justified?

I had to fork out $15k

It wasn't just $370, that was for the baby's 3-day hospital stay. My wife's insurance was billed almost 60k, they paid over 30k, of which she had to pay $1k which was the max out-of-pocket.

I understand, it's just the beginning, worth it for the time being. I mean yes, wth have we been saving all these years for?

[Alpine435i]

This thread has made me so much happier about my life. Thank you.

[NemesisX]

Originally Posted by carve

Thanks. I do feel a lot of people do things just out of cultural inertia. I tend to questions the sacred cows of every society...it's just my "but why?" nature.

I was just thinking about this: I have a pretty high sex-drive. If I had lived at any time up until the past 50 years or so, I'd have a ton of kids by default just by following my own natural desires...not for kids...but for sex. Nature has installed that need in my psyche because it was the most effective way to spread my genes, but it's interesting that the desire for a mini-me isn't even 10% as strong. Come on guys...am I all alone here? How much did you guys want to get laid vs wanting babies? Women...how about you? I imagine the maternal instinct is higher in women as it ensures the survival of her baby, but sex-drive is a huge part of it, too.

There was no need to consider "do I want kids? throughout history; it's just something that would happen, like death and taxes. Things are different now. It's not something we have to do, and won't be unless some pandemic wipes out most of the human population.

At the risk of derailing this topic further, inertia in the physics sense characterizes resistance to change. Translational inertia, for example, is simply the mass of an object. An object's acceleration in response to a fixed applied force is inversely proportional to mass (inertia) per Newton's law a = F/m. The larger the inertia (i.e. mass "m"), the smaller the "change" (i.e. acceleration, a) for a given force F.

I had not heard of the term "cultural inertia" prior to reading your post, but in accordance with standard physics definitions cultural inertial also describes resistance to (cultural) change which is opposite of what you intended to say I think.