[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

I'm sorry Pickle. Better to find out now though. Just be straight with her. Tell her you will help anyway you can. I imagine she has to figure out where to go? Or does she have parents to go back to? This can complicate things. You don't want to throw her to the curb, but you also don't want open ended while she decides where to go.

Keep us posted. Good luck.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

just hang on on a second....what happen?
your throwing the towel in so fast??

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

Sorry about that,I said I'm here to help I know it's not easy but a gentle eye to eye with her just coming out that it's best that she moves as 'it doesn't work' then depending on what she says follow the next step in offering to transport her and belongings to a destination or a transport terminus if far away giving her time to take it in.

[King Rudi]

Turkish Pickle I'm sorry to hear sir. The inquisitive side of me wants to know what happened, but it isn't any of our business. You two made a cute couple and I know how much effort you put into this. Get at me if you need advice or an ear.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I'm sorry Pickle. Better to find out now though. Just be straight with her. Tell her you will help anyway you can. I imagine she has to figure out where to go? Or does she have parents to go back to? This can complicate things. You don't want to throw her to the curb, but you also don't want open ended while she decides where to go.

Keep us posted. Good luck.

This. Be honest, transparent, firm but compassionate and don't waiver on your decision. Offer to pay for her part of the furniture expenses, don't wait for her to ask. I'm assuming that she will go back to CA to stay with her parents?

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

Sorry to hear things didn't work out. I hope you're doing OK.

The answer to your question is you sit her down and have a very candid, very adult conversation and let her know that you're not interested in continuing the relationship. The lease is in your name, so she at least will know that she is the one that needs to move out. I'm assuming things are somewhat amicable and it's just not working out.

The right thing to do is to give her an appropriate amount of time to find somewhere to go. She's the lady, so if you're in a one bedroom place she gets the bed and you sleep on the couch. Yes, it will be uncomfortable and tense for a little while.

BTDT. Good luck.

[ryan stewart]

I basically gave my ex a month to figure out her own situation. But it also been basically saying I was done before I said I was finally done.

I didn't give up my bed though, it's 2021 it's time to move beyond that chivalry shit. She moved into one of my guest rooms but if I didn't have them she's either sleeping in the same bed on the other side or crashing with somebody else.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

I hope you've learned something from this. It was a bad idea from the get go. Change the locks and call it a day

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

I hope you've learned something from this. It was a bad idea from the get go. Change the locks and call it a day

Brutal!

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I'm sorry Pickle. Better to find out now though. Just be straight with her. Tell her you will help anyway you can. I imagine she has to figure out where to go? Or does she have parents to go back to? This can complicate things. You don't want to throw her to the curb, but you also don't want open ended while she decides where to go.

Keep us posted. Good luck.

I agree with this. Just have the hard conversation with her. Break-ups are never easy, but honesty is always the least convoluted route to take. You'll feel better being straight with her and she'll never be able to lump you into the category of men who led her on and who were dishonest.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I'm sorry Pickle. Better to find out now though. Just be straight with her. Tell her you will help anyway you can. I imagine she has to figure out where to go? Or does she have parents to go back to? This can complicate things. You don't want to throw her to the curb, but you also don't want open ended while she decides where to go.

Keep us posted. Good luck.

The conversation is happening, the last week has been fucky to put it nicely. I think we both knew this was going to happen some time this week. I'm leaving work in 20 mins and will elaborate latest tomorrow morning on the full details.

I am willing to help her out in any capacity I can. I don't want to throw her to the curb, but frankly I'm past a point where that won't change anything. The conversation is happening tonight. Her dad is in another country, and probably would prefer living with me over with mom. I think her college apartment's lease is starting soon/already started, though.

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

just hang on on a second....what happen?
your throwing the towel in so fast??

its been almost 11 months, and nothing really changed. partially my mistake to jump into a relationship real quick. i will explain more shortly

Originally Posted by M5Rick

Sorry about that,I said I'm here to help I know it's not easy but a gentle eye to eye with her just coming out that it's best that she moves as 'it doesn't work' then depending on what she says follow the next step in offering to transport her and belongings to a destination or a transport terminus if far away giving her time to take it in.

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Turkish Pickle I'm sorry to hear sir. The inquisitive side of me wants to know what happened, but it isn't any of our business. You two made a cute couple and I know how much effort you put into this. Get at me if you need advice or an ear.



This. Be honest, transparent, firm but compassionate and don't waiver on your decision. Offer to pay for her part of the furniture expenses, don't wait for her to ask. I'm assuming that she will go back to CA to stay with her parents?

Thank you sir, much appreciated. I'll text you later tonight too. I should bring up the furniture stuff, you're right. I think she has a place in CA for herself. I'm honestly waiting on seeing what she has to say tonight - us breaking up won't be a surprise to either to us but I'm curious to see if she'll break up and save me the trouble of arranging logistics or not (as shitty as that sounds).

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Sorry to hear things didn't work out. I hope you're doing OK.

The answer to your question is you sit her down and have a very candid, very adult conversation and let her know that you're not interested in continuing the relationship. The lease is in your name, so she at least will know that she is the one that needs to move out. I'm assuming things are somewhat amicable and it's just not working out.

The right thing to do is to give her an appropriate amount of time to find somewhere to go. She's the lady, so if you're in a one bedroom place she gets the bed and you sleep on the couch. Yes, it will be uncomfortable and tense for a little while.

BTDT. Good luck.

Amicable? Debatable, but we are both aware it is not working out. Today's the day I think it is going to be admitted by both of us, if not only me.

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

I basically gave my ex a month to figure out her own situation. But it also been basically saying I was done before I said I was finally done.

I didn't give up my bed though, it's 2021 it's time to move beyond that chivalry shit. She moved into one of my guest rooms but if I didn't have them she's either sleeping in the same bed on the other side or crashing with somebody else.

I've been hinting at how I've been done as well. I'm not even about the chivalry stuff, I have a couch and a futon and an air mattress she can enjoy. I don't know about a month because most of our problems I feel like have arisen from spending too much time in close proximity with each other.

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

I agree with this. Just have the hard conversation with her. Break-ups are never easy, but honesty is always the least convoluted route to take. You'll feel better being straight with her and she'll never be able to lump you into the category of men who led her on and who were dishonest.

it is happening! either tonight, or tomorrow. i think she is very aware that it is happening within the next 24 hours, as well. i have no desire to play anyone, if anything ive been playing myself this'll work out.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

The conversation is happening, the last week has been fucky to put it nicely. I think we both knew this was going to happen some time this week. I'm leaving work in 20 mins and will elaborate latest tomorrow morning on the full details.

I am willing to help her out in any capacity I can. I don't want to throw her to the curb, but frankly I'm past a point where that won't change anything. The conversation is happening tonight. Her dad is in another country, and probably would prefer living with me over with mom. I think her college apartment's lease is starting soon/already started, though.


its been almost 11 months, and nothing really changed. partially my mistake to jump into a relationship real quick. i will explain more shortly




Thank you sir, much appreciated. I'll text you later tonight too. I should bring up the furniture stuff, you're right. I think she has a place in CA for herself. I'm honestly waiting on seeing what she has to say tonight - us breaking up won't be a surprise to either to us but I'm curious to see if she'll break up and save me the trouble of arranging logistics or not (as shitty as that sounds).



Amicable? Debatable, but we are both aware it is not working out. Today's the day I think it is going to be admitted by both of us, if not only me.


I've been hinting at how I've been done as well. I'm not even about the chivalry stuff, I have a couch and a futon and an air mattress she can enjoy. I don't know about a month because most of our problems I feel like have arisen from spending too much time in close proximity with each other.



it is happening! either tonight, or tomorrow. i think she is very aware that it is happening within the next 24 hours, as well. i have no desire to play anyone, if anything ive been playing myself this'll work out.

its always best to be true to yourself and then to your partner, you are doing the right thing by letting her know. No need to stretch things out if its not working out.

[Joekerr]

How'd it go Turkish Pickle ?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

How'd it go Turkish Pickle ?

I wanted to ask earlier but didn't want to ask at the same time. Thank you for being "that guy" for me Joe. Quite curious myself as how things went.

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Hey friends, time to ask a question I wish I didn't have to.

How do you break up with someone that moved in with you? There's no financial obligation from her, or anything tying us together financially (lease under my name; bought a few articles of furniture together but am willing to pay her back if asked). But she's from another state, and it'd take her three days (at least) to go back and I doubt she's keen on doing that trip alone.

What do you think is the right thing to do? I don't want to just put someone on the curb, that's cruel - but I don't have any interest in continuing this relationship, either.

This is something I did, with my GF at the time of 6 years. She moved down from MI to NC with me, but things never got better and was constant arguing over nonsense. One day couldn't take it anymore and started the conversation. It wasn't fun, but things ran their course.

What I did, was still work with her. Gave her time to figure out an apartment, helped her move, made sure everything was squared away and that she was safe in her new arrangement. We hung out until she found someone new, then that was that.

Do you have the ability to help her move? Sure you might have to take time off work, but it's a gesture that can at least not leave her out to dry. We're all people at the end of the day, and just because things don't work out, doesn't mean you can't support them while things get worked out.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I wanted to ask earlier but didn't want to ask at the same time. Thank you for being "that guy" for me Joe. Quite curious myself as how things went.

As was I. And reading between the lines on perhaps what her mother was like, and if its genetical / hereditary, I also wanted to make sure the young guy was still in the land of the living.

Calling cops in T minus 3 days if we don't hear from the guy...I figure his corpse will still be recognizable at that point.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

As was I. And reading between the lines on perhaps what her mother was like, and if its genetical / hereditary, I also wanted to make sure the young guy was still in the land of the living.

Calling cops in T minus 3 days if we don't hear from the guy...I figure his corpse will still be recognizable at that point.

I sent him a PM this morning to see how he was doing. Crickets....

I hope he's OK.

[Wild_Will]

I don't date, just keep a 5-10 person rotation and enjoy what's out there. Dating is useless now with all these online dating apps, to easy for people to cheat with so many options.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Wild_Will

I don't date, just keep a 5-10 person rotation and enjoy what's out there. Dating is useless now with all these online dating apps, to easy for people to cheat with so many options.

Do you need a wing man?

[Wild_Will]

Originally Posted by Wild_Will

I don't date, just keep a 5-10 person rotation and enjoy what's out there. Dating is useless now with all these online dating apps, to easy for people to cheat with so many options.

Do you need a wing man?[/QUOTE]

Any time, I am sure we could learn from each other.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

As was I. And reading between the lines on perhaps what her mother was like, and if its genetical / hereditary, I also wanted to make sure the young guy was still in the land of the living.

Calling cops in T minus 3 days if we don't hear from the guy...I figure his corpse will still be recognizable at that point.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I sent him a PM this morning to see how he was doing. Crickets....

I hope he's OK.

Lemme check in with him. I'll report back.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

its always best to be true to yourself and then to your partner, you are doing the right thing by letting her know. No need to stretch things out if its not working out.

Yeah, I think we both failed on that. As we got to talking it became apparent that she wasn't doing good by being with me in this relationship, either.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

How'd it go Turkish Pickle ?

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I wanted to ask earlier but didn't want to ask at the same time. Thank you for being "that guy" for me Joe. Quite curious myself as how things went.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

As was I. And reading between the lines on perhaps what her mother was like, and if its genetical / hereditary, I also wanted to make sure the young guy was still in the land of the living.

Calling cops in T minus 3 days if we don't hear from the guy...I figure his corpse will still be recognizable at that point.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I sent him a PM this morning to see how he was doing. Crickets....

I hope he's OK.

I'm ok! Means a lot that you guys are concerned about my well being, much appreciated. I am alive (so far), I understand the concerns through her mom, as lately they have been elevated for me too. Also big red flag to note that online people have been concerned about my wellbeing through a break up. Probably should've caught that before she moved in with me.

I walk in from work and the tension is in the air. Conversation starts off by her asking if I wanted to be with her. I said yes to hear what she had to say. I heard what I wasn't giving her as a boyfriend. I told on what I was expecting out of a girlfriend. There was a surprising amount of overlap. It went "south" when I asked her to describe what she loved about me and why she was trying to work things out still. It really hit me that I was not getting inspired to be and do better by her. I'm glad she was getting that out of me, but I wasn't. Went from there, really.

Originally Posted by Mein11

This is something I did, with my GF at the time of 6 years. She moved down from MI to NC with me, but things never got better and was constant arguing over nonsense. One day couldn't take it anymore and started the conversation. It wasn't fun, but things ran their course.

What I did, was still work with her. Gave her time to figure out an apartment, helped her move, made sure everything was squared away and that she was safe in her new arrangement. We hung out until she found someone new, then that was that.

Do you have the ability to help her move? Sure you might have to take time off work, but it's a gesture that can at least not leave her out to dry. We're all people at the end of the day, and just because things don't work out, doesn't mean you can't support them while things get worked out.

So about this - it's kinda sticky. I asked her what she wanted to do, she said she'd want to stay the weekend to work things out for herself. Inflated the air mattress I got when I first moved in, gave a few pillows, and we've been antisocial with each other since. Had dinner last night after officially ending stuff at her favorite pizza place, I think I'm helping her pack her car tomorrow/sunday.

[upstatedoc]

Hide the kitchen knives