[grimlock]

Originally Posted by vince7870

1st off if your thinking about infidelity for yourself or worried about it with your partner......listen loud and clear.....don't do it! Listen shit happens down the road that could possibly lead someone astray but that shit only becomes a viable option when shit at home ain't good! So if there's even a remote worry about that, someone isn't serious about their future together. Next,,,,you get married to build a family and have kids.....otherwise keep your dick on a lease to buy program. If you guys aren't going to share a human being well then your just looking to sign exclusivity deals on the private parts. Kids are a joined hobby that should keep you both busy until they've emptied your wallets and they have to deal with this very same perplexing question your now dealing with! Just my 2 cents! Madly in love and every time you park it you look back because you know you made the right decision!- your significant other should make you feel the same!

Good luck sir......I waited and searched and found the right one, married at 36 and now have 3 beautiful kids at 43! How I love to look at other pieces of ass never goes away.....but I would never risk losing my children! But that's for another thread ;-)

Serious question, doesn't just fantazing, jerking it to youtube/pron or whatever u fancy, work?
Like your friends' wife is hot.. so when your alone, u just bring up the image in your head and hit it. Do some people HAVE to actually do it?
If the opportunity is plenty and you can get away with it, I can understand the temptation.. hmm, is this where the problem is at?
Do people unconciously put themselves in a position to cheat.. like where they can justify it to themselve -"I just couldn't resist it in the moment"
Whereas if they were truthful to themselves, they know they toke a lot of steps to be able to get there.
Not like you're minded your own business, sleeping in a hotel room somewhere, then awake to some hooker riding you..
The mental/moral gymnastics that happen.. humans will never become like pandas. (disinterested in sex)

[PoorLurker]

Grimlock, how old are you? (I did see you mention that a girl was older when she was 28)

[M3 Number 86]

My wife let's me track and drink. Everything is fine. Lol.

[Mywifes335]

Get a "secret" stash of cash for unauthorized by wife activities and keep adding to it. Life will be much smoother sailing in years to come.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Get a "secret" stash of cash for unauthorized by wife activities and keep adding to it. Life will be much smoother sailing in years to come.

Pro tip.

[ashtaron14]

I'm 33, and come this May I would be married for 2 years. My son is just over 6 months old. I met my wife through a dating agency, she's about a year younger (too busy in HK and cuts through the time you need to know whether she wants family and have similar background/beliefs/goals/family views/etc). We dated for about 1/2 a year before I popped the question, got married a year after that.

I wanted to get married since I was 19, but my GF of 7 years cheated on me. So yeah, then I chilled for a few years and just worked and dated casually. It wasn't until that I met my wife that I had the urge to get married once again. If she's the right person, you'll know because you won't have any doubts (of course that experience is from age and experience).

Cheers,
Sunny

[Sidewinderpb]

If you're seriously thinking about cheating already, you're fucked. Get that prenup.

[OptionlessM]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Perfect. Now everyone can stop feeding the troll.

I guess when people struggle to provide sufficient counter points, they just write everything off as "trolling"

Surely nobody can have a non mainstream view without being a troll

[OptionlessM]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Get a "secret" stash of cash for unauthorized by wife activities and keep adding to it. Life will be much smoother sailing in years to come.

To me this is far worse than knocking one out with a tinderella on a business trip. I would feel like a deceptive liar in that case.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by OptionlessM

To me this is far worse than knocking one out with a tinderella on a business trip. I would feel like a deceptive liar in that case.

You can also just agree beforehand to divide money so your money is yours and can do whatever you want with it.

[eluded]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

You can also just agree beforehand to divide money so your money is yours and can do whatever you want with it.

Prenup?

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by eluded

Prenup?

Well that too. I meant how your individual income is divided for use in the household. We set up so 50 percent is joint and 50 percent is personal use.

[OptionlessM]

That's an issue we don't have. Both make plenty of money and have reasonable spending habits and aligned financial goals. All money goes to the same pot. No need for sneaking around.

[twin fed]

Originally Posted by ja.

First, thank you for ur awesome advice, u were right about what u thought why i made this thread. I am in my mid 20s and she is in her early 20s.. I want us, well we do both want to be faithful and loving to each other. we have actually gone to pre-marriage counselling, we have also listened to talk re: marriage. We both enjoyed it and we both want to keep learning more about each other and how to keep this relationship growing in the right direction.

I do know that CHANGE is the only thing that is for sure in life. Her and I will not be the same 10/20/30 yrs from now. our thoughts and focus would not be the same as it is right now. I guess another question is how do you learn how to love someone despite all these changes?





thank you, much appreciated. We have said to each other that going into this relationship, we only have 1 goal in mind. we are focus on only building a life together and having a family. Divorce is not an option once married.

now question not just to the two of you but to everyone- Temptation is everywhere and even myself and im sure for her it will come as well. is there any way around it? I do trust her to make the right decisions and have always told her to "not put herself in that situation"(insert examples here) we all know as well there are guys(maybe even ladies) that will try and ruin the relationship or wont have any respect to marriage.

The thing about temptation is that is is fleeting. Sure you may meet a coworker or friend of a friend and there may be some flirting. But is that worth the risk of cheating on the person you truly love. It's funny my wife always asks me if I get jealous if we are out and someone asks to buy her a drink. And my answer is NO, I don't. I trust her 100% and I know that she trusts me, even though she says she gets jealous. Plus that is one less drink that I have to buy ;-) Trust is paramount. If you have a insecure partner, it can be tough. I was with a girl (before my wife) that I loved but for whatever reason she never trusted me and ultimately that was one of the many reasons that lead to our breaking up. Being on the same page with your partner about important things is necessary before going into marriage. Sure there are going to be changes throughout life but if there is basic fundamental core to work off of, changes together through life will work themselves out.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by OptionlessM

I guess when people struggle to provide sufficient counter points, they just write everything off as "trolling"

Surely nobody can have a non mainstream view without being a troll

It became trolling after you made your statement. No one here is going to argue if two people want to have an open relationship, but the decision and consequences of that decision is up to the two people entering into that relationship. Many may not agree wth it or think it's going to work, but it's up to those two people in the relationship. When you start telling people it's ok to take a vow of fidelity with you spouse and then blatantly ignore it while convincing yourself your secretive deeds are actually strengthening the relationship with your spouse is where most of us fall off the wagon.

My view for your relationship is i don't give a rats ass what you do. But when someone asks for advice on how to stay faithful to his soon to be wife, dropping in to say that there is no need to be faithful isn't going too be a popular opinion. If your intentions were to simply offer a different view point you could have posted an example of how your relationship is set up and why you think it's been successful thus far. But that's not what you did and that comes off of as just trolling for effect.

[UncleWede]

Two words you must practice now: "Yes, dear" It always seems sarcastic, but you have to practice it until it becomes meaningful. "Yes, DEAR" This is my mantra for when there is something she wants me to do, that I don't really want to do, but want to do it FOR HER.

There are things that drive me fucking CRAZY that my wife does. I've brought it up, but she can't change it. So when it happens I remember all the other GOOD things she does that makes me happy. After 18+ years together, the good still outweighs the bad.

"I'm married, not dead" is the answer when I gaze at some sexy hunk of female flesh walking by. There are plenty of women I work with, socialize with, am related to by marriage that I have had repeated fantasies about. But never going to go there. Some of them give me a hard time because I always call my wife and let her know if we are going to lunch or something. Why not tell her? I'm not going to DO anything wrong.

[V2.0]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

It became trolling after you made your statement. No one here is going to argue that if two people want to have an open relationship, but the decision and consequences of that decision is up to the two people entering into that relationship. Many may not agree wth it or think it's going to work, but it's up to those two people in the relationship. When you start telling people it's ok to take a vow of fidelity with you spouse and then blatantly ignore it while convincing yourself your secretive deeds are actually strengthen the relationship with your spouse is where most of us fall off the wagon.

My view for your relationship is i don't give a rats ass what you do. But when someone asks for advice on how to stay faithful to his soon to be wife, dropping in to say that there is no need to be faithful isn't going too be a popular opinion. If your intentions were to simply offer a different view point you could have posted an example of how your relationship is set up and why you think it's been successful thus far. But that's not what you did and that comes off of as just trolling for effect.

You just can't turn off the preacher mode.

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by OptionlessM

That's an issue we don't have. Both make plenty of money and have reasonable spending habits and aligned financial goals. All money goes to the same pot. No need for sneaking around.

It's not about how much. It's about spending on thing the wife doesn't agree with.

If you and your wife agree on what you each spend on, then you're ahead.

Usually it's not even an amount of money that requires a "financial alignment", it's on nominal thibgs that your significant other doesn't like or like you to do.

Or, to your point on deception, some guys spend on items of questionable legality. But, I'm just calling it for what it is. Judge how you wish.

Most guys don't have that luxury.

[Sidewinderpb]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

It's not about how much. It's about spending on thing the wife doesn't agree with.

If you and your wife agree on what you each spend on, then you're ahead.

Usually it's not even an amount of money that requires a "financial alignment", it's on nominal thibgs that your significant other doesn't like or like you to do.

Or, to your point on deception, some guys spend on items of questionable legality. But, I'm just calling it for what it is. Judge how you wish.

Most guys don't have that luxury.

Under no condition can you tell her about the tiger.

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by Sidewinderpb

Under no condition can you tell her about the tiger.

You kidding? Fuck no. Tiger is my best buddy. Can't let her know about her!

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by OptionlessM

To me this is far worse than knocking one out with a tinderella on a business trip. I would feel like a deceptive liar in that case.

Yup. Until your one night stand stalks your ass for two years. Try that one.

[grimlock]

rename "The infidelity thread"