[King Rudi]

I ended the 6 year relationship with the now ex-girlfriend yesterday. I want to be somewhat sad about it, I just can't be. Things haven't been what they should for a while now. Shit escalated Sunday afternoon into a full-blown argument which resulted in her leaving and "cooling down." We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Our relationship has made me feel hollow for a while now. I explained it to her and rather than her trying to explain anything to make me feel better about it, all she wanted to do was yell at me for it. Next.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I ended the 6 year relationship with the now ex-girlfriend yesterday. I want to be somewhat sad about it, I just can't be. Things haven't been what they should for a while now. Shit escalated Sunday afternoon into a full-blown argument which resulted in her leaving and "cooling down." We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Our relationship has made me feel hollow for a while now. I explained it to her and rather than her trying to explain anything to make me feel better about it, all she wanted to do was yell at me for it. Next.

Always just a PM away if you need to vent or chat. Sorry to hear, relationships are rarely easy. Married couples go through it too...nobody is exempt. Hurts too.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Onesie

Sorry to hear.

Just be cool, you never know. Relationships are hard. After the dust settles maybe you guys will find a way to talk and resolve, or really be sure you are through. You guys had a good time, we heard all about it. If it ends, some good memories will remain.

Hope you guys find peace for a bit.

I've been extremely patient and consistent with her. Things that women before most certainly did not get. She's a wonderful person and I've grown a lot just by being with her. Will always think fondly of her and wish her the best, but the emotional immaturity just can not be overlooked any longer.

If two people have a disagreement, they can talk like adults and sort things out, or one person can continue to drag the situation on for as long as they possibly can until the other has just had enough. I've had enough. I'm already at peace. I wish that she could find it. I must be the strangest ex-boyfriend on the planet; I've called her twice since yesterday to check on her, make sure she is ok and to listen is she needed to clear the air on her end.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Always just a PM away if you need to vent or chat. Sorry to hear, relationships are rarely easy. Married couples go through it too...nobody is exempt. Hurts too.

Thank you Joe. Appreciate you. This relationship was the easiest and the emptiest that I've had to date. I feel partially responsible. I should have ended it a long time ago.

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I ended the 6 year relationship with the now ex-girlfriend yesterday. I want to be somewhat sad about it, I just can't be. Things haven't been what they should for a while now. Shit escalated Sunday afternoon into a full-blown argument which resulted in her leaving and "cooling down." We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Our relationship has made me feel hollow for a while now. I explained it to her and rather than her trying to explain anything to make me feel better about it, all she wanted to do was yell at me for it. Next.

That's the exact same way mine ended after 6 years. Years later there were things that I could have probably done to better de-escalate those types of arguments, but whatever. Like you said, being spoken to like that by your significant other is bullshit and not normal or healthy.

You got a good head on your shoulders. Press on and keep doing good things in life.

[Alfisti]

At some point, the question needs to be asked why so many women seem so angry in their relationships. There are a lot of jokes about this, happy wife, happy life etc, or men in the "dog house" etc, but this theme is there, this theme of woman cracking the shits.

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

At some point, the question needs to be asked why so many women seem so angry in their relationships. There are a lot of jokes about this, happy wife, happy life etc, or men in the "dog house" etc, but this theme is there, this theme of woman cracking the shits.

Some people, men and women alike, do not know how to voice the things that are truly bothering them in a healthy manner. Instead they lash, yell, and begrudge the other person, and generally, the other person just concedes that this is the way things are. Sometimes starts small and grows, or is that way from the get-go and is the status quo.

So while they may not be angry in their relationship, they may be angry at certain aspects of it and do not address it properly.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Mein11

That's the exact same way mine ended after 6 years. Years later there were things that I could have probably done to better de-escalate those types of arguments, but whatever. Like you said, being spoken to like that by your significant other is bullshit and not normal or healthy.

You got a good head on your shoulders. Press on and keep doing good things in life.

Thank you sir. I do what I can and strive for what I can't. If a person considers my posts on here, this is what I'm like irl. I'm quick and the tongue is razor sharp. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "I can't believe you just said that!"

The way I see things is that when problems arise, communication is key. Talking things out amicably and finding a resolution quickly seems like the responsible thing to do. It seems like she just wanted to be in control and string me along/torment me in the process. Wrong melon farmer.

Originally Posted by Mein11

Some people, men and women alike, do not know how to voice the things that are truly bothering them in a healthy manner. Instead they lash, yell, and begrudge the other person, and generally, the other person just concedes that this is the way things are. Sometimes starts small and grows, or is that way from the get-go and is the status quo.

So while they may not be angry in their relationship, they may be angry at certain aspects of it and do not address it properly.

100% accurate. Insecurity is what it screams to me. The e was great in 90% of all aspects. Her inability control her emotions was what bit her in this situation. Trying to force an emotionally mature person into something, by yelling at them is like trying to kill a mosquito with a missile.

I also know some loud individuals who just happened to grow up in a home where the parents where shouting at each other constantly. that is just simply being conditioned from an early age.

Regardless of origin, it's completely unacceptable behavior.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I ended the 6 year relationship with the now ex-girlfriend yesterday. I want to be somewhat sad about it, I just can't be. Things haven't been what they should for a while now. Shit escalated Sunday afternoon into a full-blown argument which resulted in her leaving and "cooling down." We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Our relationship has made me feel hollow for a while now. I explained it to her and rather than her trying to explain anything to make me feel better about it, all she wanted to do was yell at me for it. Next.

I completely understand my friend; today marks the 2nd week of "I want to be sad but I can't, shit just wasnt the same" for me.


Wish you the best, please know I am a PM/text/etc away.

[Mingwan]

Maybe someone here can chime in on this. What is it with women’s infatuation with animals? Cats in particular. Reading through a bunch of various posts on different forums, I found it quite alarming that women would chose their cat over their significant other they supposedly love, especially if their SO has an issue with cats due to medical reasons, i.e. severe allergies to cats. Does that strike anyone else as being fucked?

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Yes she sure can. Was this a common occurrence?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

I completely understand my friend; today marks the 2nd week of "I want to be sad but I can't, shit just wasnt the same" for me.


Wish you the best, please know I am a PM/text/etc away.

Thank you sir.

With you 100%. I really want to be sad and go through the emotional onslaught of processing and rebuilding. It almost doesn't seem healthy not feel sad about it. I do miss her, but then when I think about what encompasses being with her; my opinion instantly changes again.

Side note: I've had two nights in a row, with getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep. After just two days, I can tell a difference in how my thought process and physical appearance.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

I ended the 6 year relationship with the now ex-girlfriend yesterday. I want to be somewhat sad about it, I just can't be. Things haven't been what they should for a while now. Shit escalated Sunday afternoon into a full-blown argument which resulted in her leaving and "cooling down." We didn't talk much Sunday night and now when she speaks to me it's screaming like a banshee. Yeah, she can keep that shit.

Our relationship has made me feel hollow for a while now. I explained it to her and rather than her trying to explain anything to make me feel better about it, all she wanted to do was yell at me for it. Next.

sorry to hear that but i know you gave it all. When the spark goes dim its best to move on.
best of luck to both of you.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Mingwan

Maybe someone here can chime in on this. What is it with women’s infatuation with animals? Cats in particular. Reading through a bunch of various posts on different forums, I found it quite alarming that women would chose their cat over their significant other they supposedly love, especially if their SO has an issue with cats due to medical reasons, i.e. severe allergies to cats. Does that strike anyone else as being fucked?

Initial response is that this is quite fucked. After about 10 seconds of thought, I don't know man; have you met other people?

After another quick thought, would I choose to spend an afternoon with my last cat or would I rather spend an afternoon with any of my ex's.....Cat for sure.

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Yes she sure can. Was this a common occurrence?

No actually. Normally she was cool, calm and collected. Almost frightening and scary at how calm she is most of the time. Almost like when your parents knew you had done something wrong, but haven't said anything yet, all the while you are waiting for them to drop the hammer and they just keep acting nice....it's like that, all the time. A few odd things that I have noticed though - If she knows something that she has a right to be upset about and bring to my attention, she doesn't. She acts like everything is fine and no problems whatsoever.....until I say anything about being upset or something she has done that bothered me. Then all hell breaks lose and she begins dropping every little thing that I've done to upset her. I suppose in her mind if she drops 20 reasons why she should be upset, it pales why I'm upset and I just shouldn't be upset at all. Why not just discuss these things as they arise and talk them out then? Another hot topic for me recently is how she tries to cover up or justify her actions, that she knows hurts or upsets me. If she has done something that upsets me, if I bring it to her attention; rather than explaining why she did something in hopes me understanding or apologizing, she justifies her actions with bullshit excuses. Never admits fault, never initially says she is sorry and will act like her actions, screaming and staying away from me are acceptable methods of resolving an issue. I figure she thinks if she yells incoherently, loud enough, the other person just secedes.

I've been through tons of sales, how to read body language/tone/facial expression trainings. I can read people instantly. After 6 years, I still can not read her. Maybe this is because I'm an empath and she completely lacks empathy. She can act fine and be on fire inside, or make a person think it's the worst day of her life, and she'll continuously reassure you that she is fine.

The only time that screamed and yelled like this is when I explain some form of emotional issue in the relationship. The first time it happened, I told her I felt like she didn't have time for a boyfriend/everything else is put before me. That shit was bad. In my face, pointing finger about 2 inches from my nose and acted like she wanted to murder me....all for feeling like she had lost interest and wanting to discuss. A person would think that reassurance was the answer to hurt feelings not yelling at the other person to make them feel better. Just odd behavior, I've never experienced a personality trait like this.

I feel kinda weird typing all this. My intent isn't to complain or nag about the situation. Just providing details to paint the picture.

[Alfisti]

But again, there's this underlying thing in our culture where it is the man treading on egg shells and the woman "has something to be upset about". What is driving this? Confrontational TV (reality shows, soap operas)?

I dunno what it is but almost every case of there being relationship issues on this forum it is the woman getting pissed at something.

If I was to go my separate ways I don't think i would couple up again, this shit really is ridiculous.

[Mein11]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

But again, there's this underlying thing in our culture where it is the man treading on egg shells and the woman "has something to be upset about". What is driving this? Confrontational TV (reality shows, soap operas)?

I dunno what it is but almost every case of there being relationship issues on this forum it is the woman getting pissed at something.

If I was to go my separate ways I don't think i would couple up again, this shit really is ridiculous.

Who knows what the cause is, but I think now we just see it because there are so many different avenues TO see it. Back in the day without all the media and technology, I'm sure this was still prevalent. Granted life was also different back then as it was mostly wives doing home and child care while the husband worked.

There's a different balance where women are now more empowered (rightfully so) because of disparities from the past. But, men are still supposed to suck it up and "be a man".

Not that it makes any of it any more right than wrong, but you have to find someone that is on the same level both maturity wise and mentally.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

But again, there's this underlying thing in our culture where it is the man treading on egg shells and the woman "has something to be upset about". What is driving this? Confrontational TV (reality shows, soap operas)?

I dunno what it is but almost every case of there being relationship issues on this forum it is the woman getting pissed at something.

If I was to go my separate ways I don't think i would couple up again, this shit really is ridiculous.

Bang on and something I’ve preached against from the jump. Can’t put the pussy on a pedestal. We’re separate but equals. I refuse to cater to any woman in that capacity, and, she should not I either. I never understood the allowing of this in relationships and would walk away faster than it began. Asking permission for shit.. miss me with that.

[rebekahb]

@King Rudi sorry to hear about the break up. At the same time, I think it's been coming for a while. You gave it your best. It isn't a relationship where there is no communication & you tried your best to try and work through things with her. If you need anything, hit me up.

[Alfisti]

Originally Posted by Mein11

Who knows what the cause is, but I think now we just see it because there are so many different avenues TO see it. Back in the day without all the media and technology, I'm sure this was still prevalent. Granted life was also different back then as it was mostly wives doing home and child care while the husband worked.

There's a different balance where women are now more empowered (rightfully so) because of disparities from the past. But, men are still supposed to suck it up and "be a man".

Not that it makes any of it any more right than wrong, but you have to find someone that is on the same level both maturity wise and mentally.

I don't think it is an equality thing, it's a borderline social stereotype that is out of control. There's this........ almost tactic to win power in the relationship by constantly causing conflict and the man succumbing to it just to get some fucking peace.

I see it all over this forum and I see it in all the couples i know, how often is the man doing the no talking thing to the woman or shooting her daggers or whatever? How often is the woman trying to understand why the man is upset?

I have two sons, 6 and 10, i need to figure this shit out before they start dating. It's fucking ridiculous.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Mein11

Who knows what the cause is, but I think now we just see it because there are so many different avenues TO see it. Back in the day without all the media and technology, I'm sure this was still prevalent. Granted life was also different back then as it was mostly wives doing home and child care while the husband worked.

There's a different balance where women are now more empowered (rightfully so) because of disparities from the past. But, men are still supposed to suck it up and "be a man".

Not that it makes any of it any more right than wrong, but you have to find someone that is on the same level both maturity wise and mentally.

I think, honestly, its just a different way of thinking. Ive just been having these arguments with my current girlfriend and it gets escalated because Im not capable of "walking on eggshells."

I think culturally women are conditioned not to be up-front, etc and let stupid shit fester. Almost every single fight I have had is some asinine thing being blown out of proportion because had she told me about in real time I would have told her how stupid it was. So we get into a hole where she thinks ive committed some perceived slight, is bitchy, which in turn makes me react, and it becomes a real fight. Just last night we had one of those and it basically ended with me saying, "Youre hiding a problem from me, effectively stealing my ability to do anything about it, then being shitty to me because of it, and then acting like the victim when I want nothing to do with you. If youre not going to give me a chance to do something about it then Im not going to allow you to be a bitch about it, fix it yourself."

If it were more often and she wasn't bringing a lot of other things to the table Id be out. Its also something Ive had to battle with other girls so it just seems to be a thing, just some are better or worse than others.

Guys are more conditioned to just be up-front about it, rock the boat immediately and get it over with. The only guys Ive seen that kind of BS from were weirdos I just avoided anyway.

[Mein11]

It's one thing to have disagreements, it's another to have outright fights over stupid shit. I do not miss it one bit, and one reason why I'm hesitant to let anyone in aside from a friend with "benefits". Don't have the mental capacity to deal with the pettiness, so until someone rolls around that feels the same way, this is how it will be. Not all women are that combative, one girl I was seeing recently was zero issue in that regard, but had other things that I couldn't see fitting long term.

Such is life. People are people and everyone is different. But the whole walking on eggshells thing is dumb and sticking around to do such for the benefit of other "x" and "x" qualities doesn't always work out. Thus why my last LTR stopped. Everything else was phenomenal except the piss poor communication, which in end was destroying me mentally (and probably her too).

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Initial response is that this is quite fucked. After about 10 seconds of thought, I don't know man; have you met other people?

After another quick thought, would I choose to spend an afternoon with my last cat or would I rather spend an afternoon with any of my ex's.....Cat for sure.

No actually. Normally she was cool, calm and collected. Almost frightening and scary at how calm she is most of the time. Almost like when your parents knew you had done something wrong, but haven't said anything yet, all the while you are waiting for them to drop the hammer and they just keep acting nice....it's like that, all the time. A few odd things that I have noticed though - If she knows something that she has a right to be upset about and bring to my attention, she doesn't. She acts like everything is fine and no problems whatsoever.....until I say anything about being upset or something she has done that bothered me. Then all hell breaks lose and she begins dropping every little thing that I've done to upset her. I suppose in her mind if she drops 20 reasons why she should be upset, it pales why I'm upset and I just shouldn't be upset at all. Why not just discuss these things as they arise and talk them out then? Another hot topic for me recently is how she tries to cover up or justify her actions, that she knows hurts or upsets me. If she has done something that upsets me, if I bring it to her attention; rather than explaining why she did something in hopes me understanding or apologizing, she justifies her actions with bullshit excuses. Never admits fault, never initially says she is sorry and will act like her actions, screaming and staying away from me are acceptable methods of resolving an issue. I figure she thinks if she yells incoherently, loud enough, the other person just secedes.

I've been through tons of sales, how to read body language/tone/facial expression trainings. I can read people instantly. After 6 years, I still can not read her. Maybe this is because I'm an empath and she completely lacks empathy. She can act fine and be on fire inside, or make a person think it's the worst day of her life, and she'll continuously reassure you that she is fine.

The only time that screamed and yelled like this is when I explain some form of emotional issue in the relationship. The first time it happened, I told her I felt like she didn't have time for a boyfriend/everything else is put before me. That shit was bad. In my face, pointing finger about 2 inches from my nose and acted like she wanted to murder me....all for feeling like she had lost interest and wanting to discuss. A person would think that reassurance was the answer to hurt feelings not yelling at the other person to make them feel better. Just odd behavior, I've never experienced a personality trait like this.

I feel kinda weird typing all this. My intent isn't to complain or nag about the situation. Just providing details to paint the picture.

fuck, did we date the same woman?

im going to utilize the next few days to give more details about my breakup. was chatting with a friend yesterday and he pointed out a few things regarding how toxic she was being especially while ending it… lol

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Mein11

It's one thing to have disagreements, it's another to have outright fights over stupid shit. I do not miss it one bit, and one reason why I'm hesitant to let anyone in aside from a friend with "benefits". Don't have the mental capacity to deal with the pettiness, so until someone rolls around that feels the same way, this is how it will be. Not all women are that combative, one girl I was seeing recently was zero issue in that regard, but had other things that I couldn't see fitting long term.

Such is life. People are people and everyone is different. But the whole walking on eggshells thing is dumb and sticking around to do such for the benefit of other "x" and "x" qualities doesn't always work out. Thus why my last LTR stopped. Everything else was phenomenal except the piss poor communication, which in end was destroying me mentally (and probably her too).

Thats basically why its going down how its going down right now. Its "You need to fix this, this isnt my issue. And until then expect to get slapped down when you try it."