[AW335TT]

I've been doing a lot of absract painting lately... Extremely abstract, no brush, no paint, no canvas, I just sit and think about it.

[AW335TT]

What does a cannibal do after dumping his gf??? Wipe his ass.

[iatacs19]

Q and A

Q. What's the only thing worse than 200 ******s moving into your town?
A. 200 pregnant ******s.

Q: What do you call a baby with a Black father and a Mexican mother
A: Baked Beans

Q: What's white on top and black on the bottom?
A: Society.

Q: What goes "Na-fa-fo-na-fa-fo-fo"?
A: A black dude trying to give you his number. 954-9544

Q. How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?
A. Give the bitch a shovel.

Q. Why shouldn't women be allowed to have drivers licenses?
A. Because there is not a highway between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Source: http://www.entensity.net/

NOT MINE

[iatacs19]

A man says to his wife during sex, "Hey, I think I'm gonna come in your ear this time."

"Absolutely not!" mutters his wife "I may go deaf!"

The man says, "Impossible! I've been coming in your mouth for the past 10 years and you still don't shut the fuck up!"

[iatacs19]

Son asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies,

'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

'Son, all household appliances come in white.

[iatacs19]

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'

He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'

He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths.

After seventy -five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel, and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'

'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Memphis but I worked both sides of the Mississippi.

[iatacs19]

Q: What is more surprising to a girl than cumming in her mouth without telling her?
A: Following it with a punch in the face.

[iatacs19]

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women.

After he makes love to all of them, he begins to explore this fabulous house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, He looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Then, there's a knock at the door.

He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits.

They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods.

It's the two blonde genies.

One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.

I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.

But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.

[number335]

Q. What does a bee sit on?













A. It's bee-hind

[Terrance28]

Originally Posted by iatacs19

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a golf-course mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women.

After he makes love to all of them, he begins to explore this fabulous house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, He looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Then, there's a knock at the door.

He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits.

They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods.

It's the two blonde genies.

One blonde genie says to the other one, 'I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.

I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.

But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.

Now thats funny.

[Desi]

A very wealthy man went into a NYC bank and asked to speak to the bank manager. "I would like to borrow $5,000 for one month to fund my trip to Europe." The manager after a quick review agrees but requests some form of collateral in exchange, to which the gentleman replied by turning over the title and keys to his brand new BMW M6 valued at over $100,000.

He takes his cheque for $5,000 and the bank manager drives the car into the Bank's secure parking facility. All of the employees of the bank laugh at how stupid the man was to turn over such a valuable vehicle for such a minor loan.

A month later the man returns with a cheque for $5,000 + the $34 in interest that had accumulated. The bank manager asks "Sir we are really appreciative of your business but I must ask, your background check showed that you have over $10,000,000 on hand so you clearly didn't need the $5,000 and you turned over a $100,000 vehicle for a $5,000 loan... what gives?

The man smiled, said "Where else in NYC can I park my car for a month for $34 and still expect it to be there when I came back?", grabbed his keys and title and left.

[Desi]

A man went to someone who was selling human brain transplants.

The brain of a doctor: $10,000
The brain of an engineer: $8,000
The brain of a lawyer: $6,000
The brain of a teacher: $5,000
The brain of a black man: $100,000

"Wait, why is the brain of a black man so much more than the rest of them?"
To which the seller responded:
"Those other brains are used, high mileage. The black man's brain is BRAND NEW, NEVER USED!"

(Not a racist, this joke was just to hilarious to pass up )

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by iatacs19

Q and A

Q: What goes "Na-fa-fo-na-fa-fo-fo"?
A: A black dude trying to give you his number. 954-9544

I am Black, but this one is way too funny to be offended

[Crimson92]

lol good stuff

[oldaccount]

Originally Posted by AW335TT

There once was a man who was in LOVE with his money, and made his wife promise him that when he dies she will barry him with his money. One day the man died and the wife did keep her promise.. in the funeral the wifes friend said you didn't really put all his money in there did you... She replied "Yes i did.. I wrote him a check for all his money if he can cash it he can spend it"

barry!

[SoYank]

A baby was born who was so advanced he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth."

He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," she said. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him close. Then without warning, the baby poked him on the forehead with his index finger seven times saying, "I want you to know that THAT HURTS!"

[iatacs19]

6 degrees of blonde

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment

And said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,

Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on

The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in t he

Mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde

Says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,. -:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,

So she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment

Unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him

In the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,

She is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

'Is it mine?'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

SIXTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

Ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,

Then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

[Terrance28]

Originally Posted by iatacs19

6 degrees of blonde

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment

And said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't know,

Some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on

The sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in t he

Mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde

Says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,. -:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,

So she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment

Unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him

In the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,

She is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, 'Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

'Is it mine?'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

SIXTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

Ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,

Then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

Shut up you're next ftw

[SoYank]

Originally Posted by iatacs19

6 degrees of blonde


`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,. -:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,

So she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment

Unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him

In the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,

She is overcome with grief.

She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*:-.,_,-:*`*:-.,_,.-:*`*

Goes to his apartment unexpectedly?

[MrSteak]

Originally Posted by Desi

A very wealthy man went into a NYC bank and asked to speak to the bank manager. "I would like to borrow $5,000 for one month to fund my trip to Europe." The manager after a quick review agrees but requests some form of collateral in exchange, to which the gentleman replied by turning over the title and keys to his brand new BMW M6 valued at over $100,000.

He takes his cheque for $5,000 and the bank manager drives the car into the Bank's secure parking facility. All of the employees of the bank laugh at how stupid the man was to turn over such a valuable vehicle for such a minor loan.

A month later the man returns with a cheque for $5,000 + the $34 in interest that had accumulated. The bank manager asks "Sir we are really appreciative of your business but I must ask, your background check showed that you have over $10,000,000 on hand so you clearly didn't need the $5,000 and you turned over a $100,000 vehicle for a $5,000 loan... what gives?

The man smiled, said "Where else in NYC can I park my car for a month for $34 and still expect it to be there when I came back?", grabbed his keys and title and left.

Hahah fucken NY parking... I actually believe this.

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by MrSteak

Hahah fucken NY parking... I actually believe this.

[DasBoost]

A woman goes to a plastic surgeon and asks him to make her another asshole.
The Doctor then asks why?
Lady replies, business is doing so well, that I decided to open up another location!