Ask a Black person anything? (Paul Mooney Style)

jtodd_fl · 04-13-2016, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dekansnowman

So I was given my Black Card a few years back, and it's been a solid experience sharing Remy Cognac and Hennessy with my brothas from different colored mothas.

My question is, since I've slid through the BBQ and brought the sauce with my circle of friends, do I need to earn a Black Card from each group or is my long-standing status of Honorary Blackdom valid at all cookouts and I need only to politely announce my Membership?

Real Talk...

I would think anytime you walk into a large gathering of black folks, you should simply announce loudly and clearly...

"It's OK, I act black so I have honorary status. Keep doing what you were doing. I brought Gin n Juice and some watermelon."

I suspect you will definitely get a lively reception.

Mywifes335 · 04-13-2016, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJP86

I feel like when so much emphasis is put on race relations, it makes every little thing come under more scrutiny and PC protection. For example the idea of "white nice" seems to be increasing because some whites are trying to do everything they can not to look racist and end up looking patrionizing. With all the Black Lives Matter protests and media coverage of celebrities boycotting the Oscars or shaming the police, have you noticed an uptick in "white nice" ?

Recognize I come from the Bay Area in CA, with SF and Oakland, something Dave Chappelle once said was "perfect for what people because they just put all the black people in Oakland and make them come to San Francisco". People here seem to be the masters of the white nice and make an effort to prove they're not racist by being patronizing.

I feel like I just want to treat everyone the same, but other white people will call me racist if I do. HELP!!

Me too. But do you also believe in Unicorns?

SF PC drives me insane.

Verbiage · 04-13-2016, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJP86

I feel like when so much emphasis is put on race relations, it makes every little thing come under more scrutiny and PC protection. For example the idea of "white nice" seems to be increasing because some whites are trying to do everything they can not to look racist and end up looking patrionizing. With all the Black Lives Matter protests and media coverage of celebrities boycotting the Oscars or shaming the police, have you noticed an uptick in "white nice" ?

Recognize I come from the Bay Area in CA, with SF and Oakland, something Dave Chappelle once said was "perfect for what people because they just put all the black people in Oakland and make them come to San Francisco". People here seem to be the masters of the white nice and make an effort to prove they're not racist by being patronizing.

I feel like I just want to treat everyone the same, but other white people will call me racist if I do. HELP!!

I know the feeling very well. I think one of the best ways around this is to continue treating everyone equally. People will drown in their own misconceptions eventually, it's how things work.

Either that, or they asphyxiate on the same hypocritical bullshit they spew on a regular basis. I keep it moving.

Mywifes335 · 04-13-2016, 02:29 PM

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

Verbiage · 04-13-2016, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

In my case, yes. I am pretty hairy (on my arms and legs, use hair remover for pubes because pubes are pointless), and a microfiber washcloth is highly effective at removing oils and dirt from the pores.

I am partial to Fiji/After Hours Old Spice.

InB4 old and ghey.

Whostheboss · 04-13-2016, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJP86

I feel like when so much emphasis is put on race relations, it makes every little thing come under more scrutiny and PC protection. For example the idea of "white nice" seems to be increasing because some whites are trying to do everything they can not to look racist and end up looking patrionizing. With all the Black Lives Matter protests and media coverage of celebrities boycotting the Oscars or shaming the police, have you noticed an uptick in "white nice" ?

Recognize I come from the Bay Area in CA, with SF and Oakland, something Dave Chappelle once said was "perfect for what people because they just put all the black people in Oakland and make them come to San Francisco". People here seem to be the masters of the white nice and make an effort to prove they're not racist by being patronizing.

I feel like I just want to treat everyone the same, but other white people will call me racist if I do. HELP!!

I respect you for that. I want everyone to treat me the same.
I don't expect anyone to be nice to me because of my race.
If i bullshit, I expect to be treated as such.

Don't ever treat Black people nice because you don't want to be labeled a racist. Live your life. Nowadays white people are called racist for the slightest thing.

Whostheboss · 04-13-2016, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

I definitely use wash cloths

Mondolemite · 04-13-2016, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

What?!? I thought soap directly on your body was only in Zest commercials. Y'all really do that??

#zestfullyclean

Aatish · 04-13-2016, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

I use wash cloths in the shower...

Dekansnowman · 04-13-2016, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I would think anytime you walk into a large gathering of black folks, you should simply announce loudly and clearly...

"It's OK, I act black so I have honorary status. Keep doing what you were doing. I brought Gin n Juice and some watermelon."

I suspect you will definitely get a lively reception.

I don't act Black, or dress like it at all. Apparently I'm just funny as shit and when I'm with them we get into places without issue. A friendly neighborhood white trojan horse if you will.

jtodd_fl · 04-13-2016, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dekansnowman

I don't act Black, or dress like it at all. Apparently I'm just funny as shit and when I'm with them we get into places without issue. A friendly neighborhood white trojan horse if you will.

White trojans don't fit most... oh, sorry... misread.

Heh... I figured. Was just for the lulz. I did enjoy the pic you pm'd me though. Hope you don't mind if I share.

1MOREMOD · 04-13-2016, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verbiage

In my case, yes. I am pretty hairy (on my arms and legs, use hair remover for pubes because pubes are pointless), and a microfiber washcloth is highly effective at removing oils and dirt from the pores.

I am partial to Fiji/After Hours Old Spice.

InB4 old and ghey.

Tmi bro.

Dekansnowman · 04-13-2016, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

White trojans don't fit most... oh, sorry... misread.

Heh... I figured. Was just for the lulz. I did enjoy the pic you pm'd me though. Hope you don't mind if I share.

LOL

That was in confidence, bruh...

ASBSECU E93 · 04-13-2016, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

Wash cloth - NO

Wash rag - YES

ASBSECU E93 · 04-13-2016, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aatish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aatish

I don't know. All the hispanics that I hire flip a shit when I get them a Taco 12 pack for lunch.

Do you own a sweatshop or fruit harvesting company? Because they probably haven't eaten...

Jeez man!

Close. Hotels

Is your last name Patel...?

///M Guy · 04-13-2016, 04:13 PM

Are Blacks naturally good dancers?

Mywifes335 · 04-13-2016, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

White trojans don't fit most... oh, sorry... misread.

Heh... I figured. Was just for the lulz. I did enjoy the pic you pm'd me though. Hope you don't mind if I share.

Malibus Most Wanted

Mywifes335 · 04-13-2016, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondolemite

What?!? I thought soap directly on your body was only in Zest commercials. Y'all really do that??

#zestfullyclean

Yeah man. I use Loccitane Verbena soap. Although hairy chest and front, so gotta keep that shit trimmed with a #2.

Mywifes335 · 04-13-2016, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Is your last name Patel...?

Again:

PATELS MOTELS

FType22 · 04-13-2016, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

I respect you for that. I want everyone to treat me the same.
I don't expect anyone to be nice to me because of my race.
If i bullshit, I expect to be treated as such.

Don't ever treat Black people nice because you don't want to be labeled a racist. Live your life. Nowadays white people are called racist for the slightest thing.

I appreciate this. It's just odd with all these self-righteous hippies over here in the bay making people feel guilty for everything. Thank you.

Samurai of 2day · 04-13-2016, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Is it true Black people use wash cloths in the shower instead of using soap directly on the body?

Wash cloth - NO

Wash rag - YES

I knew some people call it wash cloth, but it was simply called a rag in my household growing up.

So yes, count one more black guy that uses a rag in the shower.

BMW F22 · 04-13-2016, 05:16 PM

Okay serious question. I have never been brave enough to ask. But since you said "anything," here goes...

Do you get offended when people use the n word? Or why do so many black people get offended when being called that? It's a serious question that I would like to know. I wonder if it's just something we grew up with and it just stuck with us.

I ask because personally, when someone calls me gook, chink, nip, etc. i really couldn't care less. Not that anyone does but in the past, I have never been offended since I did not grow up during that era. Since I can't relate to it I wasn't offended.

04-13-2016, 04:13 PM	#170
///M Guy Banned 10 Rep 7 Posts Drives: M2 ordered Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: In the left lane iTrader: (0)	Are Blacks naturally good dancers?
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04-13-2016, 05:16 PM	#176
BMW F22 Major General 3668 Rep 9,783 Posts Drives: ///M235i Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (8)	Okay serious question. I have never been brave enough to ask. But since you said "anything," here goes... Do you get offended when people use the n word? Or why do so many black people get offended when being called that? It's a serious question that I would like to know. I wonder if it's just something we grew up with and it just stuck with us. I ask because personally, when someone calls me gook, chink, nip, etc. i really couldn't care less. Not that anyone does but in the past, I have never been offended since I did not grow up during that era. Since I can't relate to it I wasn't offended.
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