[Uber V8]

We've all had awkward moments. I just had the most common one with a little twist:

I'm 30 years old and a younger 21 year old came to greet me at work. I helped her get a job here. I proceeded to give her a handshake right as she proceeded to give me a hug. Then to counter her, I turned my handshake into a hug and she turned her hug into a handshake. So that part already felt super uncomfortable. (follow me so far?)

I know must of us have done this before, but here's the kicker...I farted roughly 3 mins before she came over to my office. We definitely both smelled it, but didn't acknowledge it.

Your turn.

[Whostheboss]

you nasty disgusting son of a bitch!

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

you nasty disgusting son of a bitch!

I know man. I felt like leaving for the day HAHA

[Whostheboss]

Here's mine.

When i was 17, i had to go for a routine physical. I had a reputation there for always being late to all my appointments.
This time around i wasn't gonna be late, i didn't have a car then so i had to take public transportation and walked the rest of the way.
During the entire time, my breath was stinking so bad that i couldn't even believe it myself. I didn't want to take out 3min to hit up a gas station for gum or candy, instead i just kept rushing to the clinic so i can prove to them that i'm not always late.
So i get there and it was a really hot MILF that was doing my physical, she checked everything and i was ok. Until we got closer to the end, she told me to open my mouth wide so she can examine........................................... .........

OH BOY! up until today i still get goose bumps from the shame and the embarrassment.

[grimlock]

I'll play

So I was trying out Tinder, I liked a chick with no pictures (I didn't have a pic at the time either).. so I flashed my matches a pic.. then this chick posts her pic too - ummm don't need to be TOO specific what she looked like, but i accidently 'liked' her pic
awkward silence for eternity

[2011CrazE89]

Talk about an awkward moment. I had some dude hit on me as I waited on line at Target. Flat out asked me to dinner.

[grimlock]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

Until we got closer to the end, she told me to open my mouth wide so she can examine........................................... .........

continously breathe in through your mouth, don't exhale until she turns away

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by 2011CrazE89

Talk about an awkward moment. I had some dude hit on me as I waited on line at Target. Flat out asked me to dinner.

Damn scary, it hasn't happened to me in real life but when i had facebook, i will get dudes hitting on me. That shit is weird. It takes me a day or two to recover.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

I farted roughly 3 mins before she came over to my office. We definitely both smelled it, but didn't acknowledge it.

What a playa!

[2011CrazE89]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

Damn scary, it hasn't happened to me in real life but when i had facebook, i will get dudes hitting on me. That shit is weird. It takes me a day or two to recover.

Totally caught me off guard. I panicked and said my wife would kill you. Lol

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by grimlock

continously breathe in through your mouth, don't exhale until she turns away

It was so bad that would not have helped. I kept my mouth shut the entire time. I was nodding my head and mumbling "yes" and "no".
Keeping my mouth shut even made my breath worse. So when i finally opened my mouth, the stink exploded and stunk up the entire clinic.

[Uber V8]

You guys seriously have me rollin right now!

The bad breath and getting hit on by gay guys.

Keep em coming

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by grimlock

I'll play

So I was trying out Tinder, I liked a chick with no pictures (I didn't have a pic at the time either).. so I flashed my matches a pic.. then this chick posts her pic too - ummm don't need to be TOO specific what she looked like, but i accidently 'liked' her pic
awkward silence for eternity

What the hell is Tinder? another facebook-like app?

[M_Six]

I have an annoying tendency to vocalize what I'm reading if I get into a situation where I'm reading while talking to someone, if that makes sense. I've been known to introduce myself while reading the other person's name tag as that person. Like "Hi, I'm Jane Doe" when the other person is actually Jane Doe. Or if my wife asks me something while I'm reading, I may accidentally read the next few words out loud instead of answering sensibly.

I don't chew gum because I have to walk, if that helps explain things.

[grimlock]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

What the hell is Tinder? another facebook-like app?

What? I got the idea from you guys!... lol
I links your FB but u can just make a new account and load a few pics .. then it's hot or not but location based .. so u get people close to you. if u both like each other it matches u then u can never talk to the person again... actually how it has failed to work, for me...

[Uber V8]

Back in 11th grade, we were reading Hamlet and we were then going to have to do a play and some of the scenes were rehearsed in our classroom.

I was in AP classes btw just to give you more picture to this story.

I was wearing sweats to school that particular morning and those white boxers with the hole cut out for our dicks. Not the modern boxer briefs like today. (you guys better be wearing boxer briefs now lol)

Anyways, I got one of those random morning boners for no reason at all and my teacher just happened to call me to act out a scene where I have to lay on my back on the floor with two other students.

I panicked and thought how can I get out of this, but my teacher thought I just didn't want to participate. In fear of having to say "Mrs. teacher, I actually have a boner and it's best I sit this one out..." I just went with it.

My boner projected a nice size tent over the dick region of my sweats and one of the girls said 'HELLOOO'.

*Side note* I'm almost 90% sure that awkward scenario helped me smash this big tit Hispanic chick in that class.

[grimlock]

^

[Whostheboss]

@FwdFtl i will not call that awkward. I will call that a Boss moment.

[SAM135iAM]

Every morning that a one night stand managed to stay the night at my place.

Along those lines, I recently had a condom break. So I met the girl that next day at CVS to buy her Plan B. I was standing by my car with it when she pulled up. She got out of her car with one of her sorority sisters, who I also happened to have one night stand with a few months ago. The sister looked surprised, she obviously didn't know it was me that her sister had sex with the night before, then she gave me the dirtiest look. I felt like a jack ass.

I'm sure the girls drive home was awkward knowing they were not only sorostitutes, but also igloo sisters.

Sorostitute - a girl in a sorority who is a slut.
Igloo Sisters - two girls who have had sex with the same guy who are friends.

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

@FwdFtl i will not call that awkward. I will call that a Boss moment.

If I had the confidence I have now, I would have owned that moment. I'd look all the girls in their eyes with that "oh, yea you can get this" face AHAHAHA

[Uber V8]

Originally Posted by SAM135iAM

Every morning that a one night stand managed to stay the night at my place.

Along those lines, I recently had a condom break. So I met the girl that next day at CVS to buy her Plan B. I was standing by my car with it when she pulled up. She got out of her car with one of her sorority sisters, who I also happened to have one night stand with a few months ago. The sister looked surprised, she obviously didn't know it was me that her sister had sex with the night before, then she gave me the dirtiest look. I felt like a jack ass.

I'm sure the girls drive home was awkward knowing they were not only sorostitutes, but also igloo sisters.

Sorostitute - a girl in a sorority who is a slut.
Igloo Sisters - two girls who have had sex with the same guy who are friends.

Dayyyyumn!

[grimlock]

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

look all the girls in their eyes with that "oh, yea you can get this" face AHAHAHA

= next level