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      02-08-2006, 03:40 PM   #1
eleven24
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Rules of Parking

In an effort to keep the doors of our cars ding free, I'll share my "Rules of Parking". To determine if a spot is E90-worthy, analyze and score based on the following:

-50 points = Vehicle next to you is a beat up, rusted and dented P.O.S.

-50 points = Vehicle next to you contains a pickup truck, SUV, van, or minivan.

-50 points = Spot next to you, in front of you, or diagonal to you houses the dreaded "Cart Return" section.

-50 points = Either side of spot leads to a walkway where people will be consistently walking past your car.

-25 points = Car in spot next to you is not well maintained and dirty. Negative bonus points if car has any dings in it already.

-15 points = Car in spot next to you contains a child seat. Sometimes it is very difficult to extract a child from a seat and watch how far the car door opens. Only true car fanatics (like me) are aware of their door while extraction in progress.

+25 points = One side of spot is an island (curb, grass, or non-vehicle bearing location). Park close to this vacant area to allow for extra room on other side.

+25 points = Car in spot next to you is clean, well maintained, and in pristine condition. Bonus points if the car has apparent expensive mods on it. This means the owner cares about his/her car.

+25 points = Car in spot next to you has temporary tags AND is a new car. Odds are even the most careless driver will take care of a new car within the first 60 days.

+10 points = Car in spot next to you is an expensive car (not necessarily a slam dunk here, if car is not maintained & dirty avoid spot).

+10 points = Passenger side of car next to you is filled with CD's, books, or other paraphenalia. When parking, favor this side of the spot as there is a 100% chance there will be no passenger opening the door of this car.




Feel free to add your own. I'll be making a laminated parking guide for my wife when this list is complete.
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      02-08-2006, 03:42 PM   #2
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      02-08-2006, 03:51 PM   #3
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on some of the "vehicle next to you" ones, the points should differ if its on your right or left (US). passengers tend to be more careless with the car doors than the drivers. also, points off if theres makeup or something in the car... alot of girls subscribe to the get you from point a to point b mentality when it comes to our precious cars.
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      02-08-2006, 04:05 PM   #4
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- 25 points if you see a sorority bumper sticker

-25 points if you see a Ralph Nadar or a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker (they lost the election over a year ago, if the sticker hasn't been removed by now, either it's covering a dent, or they're waiting to replace it with a "Hillary '08" sticker.)
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      02-08-2006, 04:10 PM   #5
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+1,000,000,000,000 points if you have a car guarder a.k.a a huge ex-marine who stands sentry out of your sunroof with a baseball bat.
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      02-08-2006, 04:13 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shimshimhada
+1,000,000,000,000 points if you have a car guarder a.k.a a huge ex-marine who stands sentry out of your sunroof with a baseball bat.
Funny, but soooo random
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      02-08-2006, 04:16 PM   #7
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- 100000000000000001 points if the car next to you has already crashed into your car.
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      02-08-2006, 04:26 PM   #8
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to be serious, it is also important to try not to park next to a coupe, simple bc their doors open much wider than those of a four door.
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      02-08-2006, 04:27 PM   #9
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+infinity if it is next to a convertible full of hawaiian tropic bikini girls.
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      02-08-2006, 04:31 PM   #10
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that's all cool, but you never if the nice coupe next to you takes off a minute after you leave and some drunk punk in his daddy's beat-up '88 ford truck doesn't pull right next to you...
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      02-08-2006, 06:21 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Bimmer
-25 points if you see a Ralph Nadar or a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker (they lost the election over a year ago, if the sticker hasn't been removed by now, either it's covering a dent, or they're waiting to replace it with a "Hillary '08" sticker.)
....or a "Dean for America" or "Tom O'Reilly for Governor"

It's kind of hard to find a car in Boston without at least one of the above.
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      02-08-2006, 06:54 PM   #12
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I think these are fantastic rules. I will apply this to my parking in the future. I know that when I go to walmart, I park far, far away from the entrance because walmart shoppers are willing to. Also, I apply the rust bucket rule whenever I park.
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      02-08-2006, 06:59 PM   #13
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+50 if the car next to you happens to be an E90.
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      02-08-2006, 07:05 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Bimmer
- 25 points if you see a sorority bumper sticker

-25 points if you see a Ralph Nadar or a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker (they lost the election over a year ago, if the sticker hasn't been removed by now, either it's covering a dent, or they're waiting to replace it with a "Hillary '08" sticker.)


I would think that, that was the case for Bush/Cheney stickers
b/c 90 % of the time i see them it falls into these 2 categories:

-50 points = Vehicle next to you is a beat up, rusted and dented P.O.S.

-50 points = Vehicle next to you contains a pickup truck, SUV, van, or minivan.

I park as far away as possible.
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      02-08-2006, 07:26 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tctic
+50 if the car next to you happens to be an E90.
+250 if you can park between 2 E90's.
+1.000 if one has an E90Post sticker

Stop counting and thank ...... (fill in the blank) if both E90's have an E90Post sticker.
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      02-08-2006, 07:43 PM   #16
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-5000 if car next to you has a handicapped sticker
-5000 if the car next to you is a grand marquis, buick century, cadillac deville...
-1000000000 if you live in florida
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      02-08-2006, 08:31 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eleven24

-50 points = Vehicle next to you contains a pickup truck, SUV, van, or minivan.
Minivans aren't bad because the backdoors slide open instead of swinging open and usually there is only the driver and the passengers (kids) are in the back.
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      02-08-2006, 08:41 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki
-5000 if car next to you has a handicapped sticker
What is wrong with that?
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      02-08-2006, 08:42 PM   #19
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I live in S. Florida and I always parked my E46 coupe next to the islands and really close to the curb. The car was dent or door dings free for ever. That's the way it was on the day I sold it!!
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      02-08-2006, 08:52 PM   #20
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I didn't expect this to go political, but here 'goes. A "W" sticker on any adjacent vehicle supercedes all positive rankings, simply because the person behind the wheel is an idiot.


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      02-08-2006, 08:53 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ABR
What is wrong with that?
Because that means they are either old or in some way unable to get out of their car easily and they'll just slam the door wide open into you.
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      02-08-2006, 08:57 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nikki
Because that means they are either old or in some way unable to get out of their car easily and they'll just slam the door wide open into you.
Oh.. now I know what I supposed to do with my doors.
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