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      12-17-2018, 03:59 AM   #1
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Any musicians around?

I fucked up royally again, and now Santa is bringing my six year old a guitar. I guess I could spend the next 12 years drunk to avoid the horror that is a kid and an instrument but before I go fill the house with alcohol maybe one of you could recommend a way a six year old could learn how to play a guitar without a parent losing their mind?

There are some limitations to my love for my child. I can't listen to pop music without a severe allergic episode. Smoke On The Water, the song apparently everyone begins their practices is banned from our house too. My attention span is so vast the kid has about three days to become the new Slash before I'll burn the guitar.

So, any tips? I have considered having a stroke for Christmas but my body is not cooperating.
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      12-17-2018, 05:43 AM   #2
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So, any tips?
Two.

1. Be supportive and encouraging.

2. Be thankful it's not a drum set.
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      12-17-2018, 06:23 AM   #3
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Two.

1. Be supportive and encouraging.

2. Be thankful it's not a drum set.
I have an extra garage. Does donating that to my little monkey count?
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 06:51 AM   #4
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send to school....then get personal jam hall.
ie; barn,tree house,sound proof room.
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      12-17-2018, 07:42 AM   #5
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Electric or acoustic guitar? If electric, there's a number of headphone amplifiers available. Allows him to practice quietly without bothering people.

An electric solid body guitar is fairly quiet when unamplified

Last edited by detroitm2; 12-17-2018 at 09:16 AM..
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      12-17-2018, 09:12 AM   #6
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1. A guitar wont work alone, if he lost the interest, the silence is set anyway

2. Be glad its no bagpipes
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      12-17-2018, 09:44 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by detroitm2 View Post
Electric or acoustic guitar? If electric, there's a number of headphone amplifiers available. Allows him to practice quietly without bothering people.

An electric solid body guitar is fairly quiet when unamplified
That would be great, I didn't think of this headphone thing at all! My liver sends her love to you.

None of our kids have ever shown any interest towards an instrument. I've put this off for a year already but this is probably the last year the kid believes in Santa, I want to go out with a bang!

Thanks again for taking the time to help out my organs. If he's as talented as the rest of us are in this field, your tip will save our ears.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 10:11 AM   #8
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Depending on how well you want him to take to said instrument is how you should play this entire scenario. If you want him to stick with it, don't skimp on cheap equipment. You can find good deals on really nice equipment if you search for it. I highly recommend a used Fender or Marshall amp and some headphones.

As for teaching him, "Easy Way to Guitar A" https://www.amazon.com/Mel-Bay-Easy-...ay+to+guitar+a is what my instructor made me buy from the get go. Also he needs to learn some scales just as much as he needs to learn chords. https://www.amazon.com/Guitarists-Sc...les+book&psc=1

Get the kid some lessons. Also the links below.

https://www.guitarlessons.com/guitar...ad-guitar-tabs

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/

https://www.guitartabs.cc/

Be supportive. You are likely...scratch that, YOU WILL be listening to a bunch of the same songs over and over again. If he truly enjoys it, be supportive. Also tell him to stop whining when he starts bitching about how bad his finger tips hurt until the callouses form. Once those things set up nice, he'll be able to drive nails into drywall with his fingertips.
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      12-17-2018, 10:30 AM   #9
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What make/model of guitar?

If you are looking for a good starter amp I would recommend the vox pathfinder 10.
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      12-17-2018, 11:08 AM   #10
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What make/model of guitar?

If you are looking for a good starter amp I would recommend the vox pathfinder 10.
Or something from the Yamaha THR line. Good sounding amps for practicing, and has a headphone output for silent playing as well.
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      12-17-2018, 11:15 AM   #11
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A guitar and amp are portable and he should take lessons away from the house and if interest warrants, meet some other kids who want to play together in a band. They will often meet at the drummers garage.

A drummer
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      12-17-2018, 11:38 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Lups View Post
That would be great, I didn't think of this headphone thing at all! My liver sends her love to you.

None of our kids have ever shown any interest towards an instrument. I've put this off for a year already but this is probably the last year the kid believes in Santa, I want to go out with a bang!

Thanks again for taking the time to help out my organs. If he's as talented as the rest of us are in this field, your tip will save our ears.
No problem. Music has been a part of my life from a very young age, so I think its important for kids to get into it.

Played various instruments from Middle School through High School. Played drums in various bands through my late teens and 20s, and now play guitar in a hard rock band on the weekends. I just love performing, its a rush being on stage.
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      12-17-2018, 01:44 PM   #13
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No problem. Music has been a part of my life from a very young age, so I think its important for kids to get into it.

Played various instruments from Middle School through High School. Played drums in various bands through my late teens and 20s, and now play guitar in a hard rock band on the weekends. I just love performing, its a rush being on stage.
I had the pleasure of enduring a renown pediactric or what ever music teacher, Sointu Castren's lessons for one year at the age of four, and 32 years later I still would swear on a stack of bibles the woman was a witch. My bestie back then was two years older than I and she taught me that if I start peeing my pants every time when the lesson starts, my mom will stop taking me. My mother was incredibly hardheaded it turned out.

My next mile stone in the field of music was a singing test in the fifth grade. The teacher promised I'd pass if I stopped singing. I didn't, because everyone who passed had to join his choir of horrors.

You can see why I'm pretty sure I have switched the kid at some point at the grocery store. I have faked a severe allergy to all kids songs, the mildest allowed in the house is Megadeth. My eldest was about three and the biggest iron maiden fan in a pint size and I took her to a gig so they have been subjected to music, just not the annoying kinds.

The shitty thing is that even if I'm allergic to that shit, I wouldn't deny a kid them. I am just truly pissed I almost made it to a halfway mark in this parenting gig sane, and now the junior will kill me.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 01:46 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Depending on how well you want him to take to said instrument is how you should play this entire scenario. If you want him to stick with it, don't skimp on cheap equipment. You can find good deals on really nice equipment if you search for it. I highly recommend a used Fender or Marshall amp and some headphones.

As for teaching him, "Easy Way to Guitar A" https://www.amazon.com/Mel-Bay-Easy-...ay+to+guitar+a is what my instructor made me buy from the get go. Also he needs to learn some scales just as much as he needs to learn chords. https://www.amazon.com/Guitarists-Sc...les+book&psc=1

Get the kid some lessons. Also the links below.

https://www.guitarlessons.com/guitar...ad-guitar-tabs

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/

https://www.guitartabs.cc/

Be supportive. You are likely...scratch that, YOU WILL be listening to a bunch of the same songs over and over again. If he truly enjoys it, be supportive. Also tell him to stop whining when he starts bitching about how bad his finger tips hurt until the callouses form. Once those things set up nice, he'll be able to drive nails into drywall with his fingertips.
I so wish some chick will burn your ball hairs while you sleep.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 01:48 PM   #15
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A guitar and amp are portable and he should take lessons away from the house and if interest warrants, meet some other kids who want to play together in a band. They will often meet at the drummers garage.

A drummer
Turns out a friend of mine plays guitar. He can teach the basics apparently and then I have to figure out a way to avoid those music teachers I'm still sure are all evil.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 01:49 PM   #16
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I so wish some chick will burn your ball hairs while you sleep.
Well it would save me from having to shave them so

Glad you appreciate my sincere help in your query.
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      12-17-2018, 01:54 PM   #17
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Well it would save me from having to shave them so

Glad you appreciate my sincere help in your query.
Nah, mate, your post just completely destroyed the illusion I had that I could just slip this one to the hubby. You did great in your answer, so I thought I would wish you warm encounters with the members of my gender. The mildly painful note just slipped out, come on, we are talking about teaching a six year old play here!

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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 03:53 PM   #18
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I started playing at six, my dad slapped a 'cordeen on me (Accordion) and it turned out to be about a 55 year career in keyboards. You never know how it'll turn out. BTW the teachers I had were not the spawn of Satan they were pretty supportive. As stated above learning proper fingering and practicing scales is key, the Czerny School of Velocity book was handed to me early and I highly recommend it. Good luck.
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      12-17-2018, 04:12 PM   #19
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I started playing at six, my dad slapped a 'cordeen on me (Accordion) and it turned out to be about a 55 year career in keyboards. You never know how it'll turn out. BTW the teachers I had were not the spawn of Satan they were pretty supportive. As stated above learning proper fingering and practicing scales is key, the Czerny School of Velocity book was handed to me early and I highly recommend it. Good luck.
I absolutely don't think every music teacher is a witch, I just know my first one was and my bestie had some bad tips to share! It didn't even work!

I'm consume music like some weirdos who don't drink milk do to water. A five year old with a guitar wasn't something I saw as a good idea, but a year of him talking about riffs and playing air guitar made me send Santa for help. As untalented and unwilling as I was, and as negative and angst as this thread is, I wouldn't take the joy of learning new things from a kid.

This thread is one of my better ideas clearly. It's epic that so many of you have bothered to come roast my lazy ass for bitching about this. Even I know musical instrument is a great hobby, I just thought my kids would use their energy to figuring out how to blow up Jupiter or something.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 05:43 PM   #20
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Guitar could always meet a tragic accidental end, like getting backed over by a car in the driveway. Damn kids really should take better care of their stuff
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      12-17-2018, 05:56 PM   #21
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Guitar could always meet a tragic accidental end, like getting backed over by a car in the driveway. Damn kids silhouette really should take better care of their stuff
Or the pet rabbit they bought could eat it!

Nah, I'm stuck, I actually sent Judy's tips to Santa.
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You're still a little new here, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Whenever Lups types gibberish, this is an opportunity for you to imagine it to be whatever you'd like it to be.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      12-17-2018, 10:58 PM   #22
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Just enroll your kid into guitar lessons.

Sound proof a designated practice room.

Offer to play a trumpet really shitty with them whenever they practice at home so they lose enthusiasm.
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