[Tommy-G]

What was it?

Feel free to add:
Best gift
Funniest gift

[M_Six]

When I was a kid I wanted hockey skates. Folks bought us figure skates. I think I tried to skate on them once and never used them again.

[Oldgixxer]

Old girlfriend gave me blue balls regularly. Does that count?

[DETRoadster]

I totally read this as "Worst President Ever" and thought "Well this thread wont make it 45 seconds...."

Let's see, probably belongs in the confessions thread but I'll give you all some insight into my dear old mom and her Christmas gift giving.

Age 12 - A unicycle

Age 13 - A box of unlubricated Trojans (clearly, between the unicycle and the dry rubbers my mom did not want me getting laid)

Age 14 - An Electric razor. I had zero facial hair till I was about 19.

Age 21ish - A Black and Decker Dust Buster stick broom

Age 24ish - A bread machine (I'm gluten intolerant. She's gone from trying to keep me a virgin to trying to kill me)

Age 25ish - A laptop computer travel case. I didnt own a laptop computer.

There's a lifetime more but that's just the highlights.

[wtwo3]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

I totally read this as "Worst President Ever" and thought "Well this thread wont make it 45 seconds...."

Let's see, probably belongs in the confessions thread but I'll give you all some insight into my dear old mom and her Christmas gift giving.

Age 12 - A unicycle

Age 13 - A box of unlubricated Trojans (clearly, between the unicycle and the dry rubbers my mom did not want me getting laid)

Age 14 - An Electric razor. I had zero facial hair till I was about 19.

Age 21ish - A Black and Decker Dust Buster stick broom

Age 24ish - A bread machine (I'm gluten intolerant. She's gone from trying to keep me a virgin to trying to kill me)

Age 25ish - A laptop computer travel case. I didnt own a laptop computer.

There's a lifetime more but that's just the highlights.

I like how you've kept a log of all your past gifts. I couldn't tell you what I got last year, much less decades ago.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I like how you've kept a log of all your past gifts. I couldn't tell you what I got last year, much less decades ago.

It's a mental log. And believe me, when you get gifts this humiliating from your own mother, you remember. Don't even get me started on the "frying pan years". Yeah you read that right. Years plural. Like, she got me frying pans for Christmas like 3 years in a row.

My wife thought I was full of shit when we started dating. Now, 21 years later, she fully admits my mom is looney when it comes to gifts for me.

[Mintsopoulos]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

I totally read this as "Worst President Ever" and thought "Well this thread wont make it 45 seconds...."

Let's see, probably belongs in the confessions thread but I'll give you all some insight into my dear old mom and her Christmas gift giving.

Age 12 - A unicycle

Age 13 - A box of unlubricated Trojans (clearly, between the unicycle and the dry rubbers my mom did not want me getting laid)

Age 14 - An Electric razor. I had zero facial hair till I was about 19.

Age 21ish - A Black and Decker Dust Buster stick broom

Age 24ish - A bread machine (I'm gluten intolerant. She's gone from trying to keep me a virgin to trying to kill me)

Age 25ish - A laptop computer travel case. I didnt own a laptop computer.

There's a lifetime more but that's just the highlights.

This gave me a good laugh, reminds me so much of my mother in law. Its the thought that counts right?

[wtwo3]

I don't know if this qualifies as worst present ever cause I actually got a good laugh out of it.... but this just came in the mail for me today:

[Bunnny]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

It's a mental log. And believe me, when you get gifts this humiliating from your own mother, you remember. Don't even get me started on the "frying pan years". Yeah you read that right. Years plural. Like, she got me frying pans for Christmas like 3 years in a row.

My wife thought I was full of shit when we started dating. Now, 21 years later, she fully admits my mom is looney when it comes to gifts for me.

I too have had Christmas ruined or just been embarrassed by family members on that day.

Worst Christmas gift - my now estranged brother (31) and his wife (crazy) thought it would be a great idea to get me condoms at age 14.

My sister also has stormed out on Christmas day fighting with my parents and brother. It was usually her and my bro causing all the issues needless to say. And now I don't speak to her either. Just my parents lol..

Best Christmas gift - my parents got me a puppy when I was 12. He lived to be 17, and was the sweetest little dog ever.

[rebekahb]

My SIL gave me a broach and a flower bud vase. The other SIL gave me this chinky ass jewelry set in red (hate that color). This same SIL gave me an apron 4 years ago. If they knew me at all, they would know I wouldn't use or wear any of them.

After this Christmas of bad gifts, I decided that we weren't exchanging gifts anymore. I'm the type of person who remembers random shit people like and put a lot of thought into gifts. Them, not so much.

Ohhhhhhhh, I just remembered a good one. My husband (then boyfriend) gave me a bunk bed with the bottom part open. He figured I could put my desk underneath or make a closet area and we could use the top bunk as a guest bed. We lived in a 2 bedroom at the time with almost no closet space. Do you know how hard it is to fake excitement. I was like WTF, this can't be real. Worst gift he's ever given me. I was happier about the BMW floor and cargo mats a few years ago

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by wtwo3

I don't know if this qualifies as worst present ever cause I actually got a good laugh out of it.... but this just came in the mail for me today:

Attachment 2761334

It's the thought that counts

[unluky]

My mother is a noxiously bad present buyer. My life long best friend has the same problem with his mother.

For as long as I can remember we call each other each xmas and talk about the crazy gifts we get from our mothers. The problem is - they LOVE the store experience at xmas - so it does not really matter WHAT they are buying, just that they ARE buying. We are both 50 and STILL do this each year.

Socks that are so thick you can't put them into shoes, vests with 10,000 pockets when you have never worn a vest in your life. Drain cameras. Every kind of "As Seen On TV" items you can imagine.

Someday I won't get to make those calls anymore and I will probably cry. The horrible gifts have kind of become the tradition and I will miss it.

[Joekerr]

My wife got me a knife block for the kitchen knives as a present. I still bring it up from time to time just to make sure it is fresh in her memory as a present that I deeply suspect she just bought for herself.

Then again, I've given her a vitamix as a present, a bread maker, I think a vacuum... so there is that in her defense.

[King Rudi]

I'll just pass on this one. I can only think of one bad present and it's the gift that gives every Christmas now. Aside from that horror, I honestly can't think of anything.

Edit: Not the gift, but the experience itself as a whole. When my kids were 2 & 3, their mother and I were experiencing some financial hardships. She had asked me to contact my family and ask that we not exchange gifts that year as we could not afford it. I didn't ask any questions as I made the money and she paid the bills; I learned much from this way of thinking later. After explaining to my family that we could not afford it, my family goes out and buys food, gifts (more than normal) and gifts to other family members and our kids from us - just to make sure that we could still provide to our kids and her family as well. I had no clue any of this was happening. December 23rd, I got sick at work and went home early. I got home to find a delivery truck in my driveway. The wife financed a 52" big screen TV for me for my Christmas present. It was great of her to spend my money for me on something we couldn't afford. I was upset, but also trying to fake happy and excited; all while trying to figure out how to send it back. December 24th, my family shows up unannounced with food, money and gifts....only to find that we had brand new big screen TV in our living room after telling everyone how poor we were. My family was pissed and I don't blame them.

2nd Edit: My dad re-gifted me a CD that he asked for on his birthday 2 years prior....still unopened.

[garyfried]

Most embarrassing gift I ever received was a peter warmer. For those of you who do not know what this is I will explain. It is a knitted sleeve that fits over the male member with a bell on the end. At the time of receiving the gift I was at the inlaws home with a large crowd and unfortunately I did not recognise what is was immediately. Being a golfer I first thought it was a golf club cover and asked aloud why is there only one as I had 4 woods. I understood the mistake when the comment returned was how many peters do you have?

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by unluky

My mother is a noxiously bad present buyer. My life long best friend has the same problem with his mother.

For as long as I can remember we call each other each xmas and talk about the crazy gifts we get from our mothers. The problem is - they LOVE the store experience at xmas - so it does not really matter WHAT they are buying, just that they ARE buying. We are both 50 and STILL do this each year.

Socks that are so thick you can't put them into shoes, vests with 10,000 pockets when you have never worn a vest in your life. Drain cameras. Every kind of "As Seen On TV" items you can imagine.

Someday I won't get to make those calls anymore and I will probably cry. The horrible gifts have kind of become the tradition and I will miss it.

The traditions definitely make it fun.

On my wife's side of the family, my mother in law famously hates chickens. At some point back in the late 70s she was selling Avon products and got a gift from Avon for hitting some sales target. It was a decorative terracotta chicken, about the size of a grapefruit. Something you just display on a shelf. A "damn sit-around" as she calls them. Well she wrapped up up and gifted it to her mom. Seems grandmas didnt want it either so as a joke she kept it for a couple years, wrapped it up, and gave it right back. Thus started the now nearly 50 year family tradition of the terra cotta chicken. It's been making the rounds throughout the family for decades. It'll drop off the map for 3, 4 sometimes 5 years. No one can recall who has it. Then it suddenly appears all wrapped up and in the hands of some disappointed recipient. I got it maybe 5 or 6 years into dating my now wife as a sign I was truly part of the family now.

[nyalpine90]

bright purple turtle neck sweater... smh
you would think relatives would know better

[Sara]

An oven mitt with a horse and woman on it that read "I hate everybody".

Received it unexpectedly in 2020, still have the tags on it. The person who sent it to me was upset with me that I didn't like it and he took the time out of his busy day to send me something with a horse on it.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

The traditions definitely make it fun.

On my wife's side of the family, my mother in law famously hates chickens. At some point back in the late 70s she was selling Avon products and got a gift from Avon for hitting some sales target. It was a decorative terracotta chicken, about the size of a grapefruit. Something you just display on a shelf. A "damn sit-around" as she calls them. Well she wrapped up up and gifted it to her mom. Seems grandmas didnt want it either so as a joke she kept it for a couple years, wrapped it up, and gave it right back. Thus started the now nearly 50 year family tradition of the terra cotta chicken. It's been making the rounds throughout the family for decades. It'll drop off the map for 3, 4 sometimes 5 years. No one can recall who has it. Then it suddenly appears all wrapped up and in the hands of some disappointed recipient. I got it maybe 5 or 6 years into dating my now wife as a sign I was truly part of the family now.

Yeah...sure... that's a positive way of looking at it... allow me to offer an alternative view:

You've already said none of them wanted it. Maybe they knew something you didn't about how your wife was feeling and specifically thought the relationship was going south. Thus, they thought by giving it to you it would finally be out of circulation forever...

Just a hypothesis.

[unluky]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

The traditions definitely make it fun.

On my wife's side of the family, my mother in law famously hates chickens. At some point back in the late 70s she was selling Avon products and got a gift from Avon for hitting some sales target. It was a decorative terracotta chicken, about the size of a grapefruit. Something you just display on a shelf. A "damn sit-around" as she calls them. Well she wrapped up up and gifted it to her mom. Seems grandmas didnt want it either so as a joke she kept it for a couple years, wrapped it up, and gave it right back. Thus started the now nearly 50 year family tradition of the terra cotta chicken. It's been making the rounds throughout the family for decades. It'll drop off the map for 3, 4 sometimes 5 years. No one can recall who has it. Then it suddenly appears all wrapped up and in the hands of some disappointed recipient. I got it maybe 5 or 6 years into dating my now wife as a sign I was truly part of the family now.

We kind of had the same thing! My mother and her sister both married smart asses (my father and my uncle by marriage) who got along great and hunted together all the time. One year, after being forced to (of course), he went shopping for this uncle and got him a nice set of screwdrivers. Then the next year, he inadvertently bought him the SAME set again - totally by accident. They didn't say anything, but gave them back to him the next year as his gift - when is didn't "get it", they told him and everyone laughed.

Thus began the great screwdriver gift exchange. The guys LOVED it as you only had to shop every OTHER year now, as whoever got the screwdrivers last year, got to give them back the next year. Went on for decades even with the sisters trying to kill it so they could force the guys to Christmas shop every year. They were having none of it.

As an adult I am shocked they didn't buy another set and just exchange them each year and be done with it. They never left the package in all that time.

[3.0L]

Fruit cake.

[DocL]

Originally Posted by Sara

An oven mitt with a horse and woman on it that read "I hate everything body".

Received it unexpectedly in 2020, still have the tags on it. The person who sent it to me was upset with me that I didn't like it and he took the time out of his busy day to send me something with a horse on it.

That's a perfect gift for me. I'll take it.