[flybigjet]

I hesitate to post this, but in this age of visceral anger, hatred and me, me, ME..... maybe it's something worth mentioning.

A very dear friend of my wife and I died suddenly and unexpectedly this morning.

She woke up with extreme chest pain. Her boyfriend called 911 and an ambulance, but by the time they got to the ER, it was just too late. Despite the ER staff working to revive her for over an hour, she passed away due to a massive cardiac arrest.

She was only 47 with no known underlying medical conditions.

And no, it had nothing whatsoever to do with Covid or vaccinations, so please don't go there.

We'd just seen her last Saturday, and she was healthy and full of life. She'd come over to our house and visited and we'd exchanged Christmas presents. My wife had planned to see her again tomorrow while I was flying, so when her best friend called us with the news, we were both shocked speechless.

Both of us are still having trouble processing this-- we always said that she was a hot mess, but that she was "our" hot mess. She was a truly wonderful person, and I really mean that-- always chipper, ridiculously upbeat and positive and always..... ALWAYS willing to help anyone she could, regardless of what life threw at her. She wasn't particularly well off and she'd definitely had more than her fair share of challenges in life, but she worked three different jobs to support herself, and always looked on the bright side. We did what we could to help her over the years and I *know* that we brought happiness into her life, just as she did to ours.

The lesson here? In the words of Warren Zevon- "Enjoy every sandwich". We were (and continue to be) blindsided by this-- absolutely *nobody* saw it coming-- that someone so vibrant, healthy and full of life could just..... suddenly not be there anymore. It breaks your heart, and leaves a hole that will be a long time healing.

So, hug your significant other and/or kids, give the dog or cat a snuggle, be nice to the people you interact with throughout your day..... and bear in mind that life is terribly fragile and everything you love and hold dear can be gone in a literal heartbeat.

I'm not ashamed to say that there were a few tears shed. My wife and I lit a candle tonight and raised a toast to our now-departed friend. We're both still a little bit in shock and very, very sad.

Take the advice or leave it. But this has been one hell of an eye-opening, traumatic and deeply saddening day. "Live your life like every day is your last" is no longer just a trite catchphrase or platitude for me.

I just wish my friend didn't have to die before I realized that.

It was a good run that ended far too soon, Cricket. We'll miss you terribly.

R.

[Alfisti]

Urrrrrrrrrgh. I live in subliminal fear of this.

Condolences to yourself, family and friends.

[BMWGUYinCO]

Hey man, - sorry for the loss of your close family friend.
I know this was probably difficult to post, but it's a sentiment that we often lose sight of, so thanks for providing the life reminder and perspective.

[ipso_facto]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Clearly a cherished friend.

You are spot on with your advice. It’s a real “wake-up call” when you lose a friend or family member, in an unexpected and untimely way - whether it be accident, illness or sudden trauma. It really makes you stop and think.

Thanks for the wise words.

Again - condolences.

[kscarrol]

So sorry to hear this. I lost four friends suddenly between fall '20 and spring '21... this was the big driver behind my decision to retire and enjoy myself. You never know when your time is up.

[CTinline-six]

I also lost a close friend unexpectedly to a massive heart attack a month ago. Still haven't fully processed it.

[M_Six]

My sincere condolences. Such a shock when folks so full of life are suddenly gone. My younger brother also died of a massive and totally unexplained heart attack. He was the fittest of all of the sibs in my family, yet the cardiac arrest took him in seconds. The doctors said it was massive and nothing would have saved him. Such sudden loss always brings about soul searching questions. It certainly brings the petty annoyances of life into true perspective. Look for things to enjoy in your day, every day. Stop getting all upset and offended about stupid little things.

[Frostynorth]

Condolences, a good reminder how fragile life is.

[jpdchicago]

Very sorry for your loss. Yes it is a good reminder to enjoy life while we can and cherish every moment…

[Dang3r]

Deepest condolences to this loss short before xmas.
Your wise words would be heard and will be valid also into the future for everyone.

[BMW F22]

Thank you for sharing and the great reminder. Life is definitely short and we don’t know if we have tomorrow. It is always horrible to lose someone so close to you. You have my deepest condolences. A life taken far too young. May her soul rest in peace.

[unluky]

Sorry for your lose man - those surprise ones are the worst. Takes a lot of time to process those.

And I 2nd your words 100%. I have spoke about it on here before, but when my father died in 2018 after I spent 6 weeks with him mostly in the hospital - I had a life gut check moment. He was fearless and talked right to the end that made me think - he never once spoke about his job (which I spent WAY too much at) or how much money he made. He spoke about old times and memories with people and did it was a huge smile on his face and laughter.

It made me think - what is going to make me smile when I am here? After he passed that haunted me. I finally up and quit my job, which shocked everyone. Great job, but tons of hours. No more ironing each day for work. No more emails till bedtime. No more multiple plane rides per month. No more shaving each morning. No more driving home in the dark - even in the summer.

It was scary - but luckily I work in a smaller industry and was called immediately by another company. I told them why I quit and that I was not going back to that. They agreed. All the time off I wanted. I wear jeans to work and always have a few days of scruff. I have not wore a tie since my father funeral. I bring my dog (who was my dads, but I took in when he passed) to work with me some days - like today. I rarely put in 50 hours or more 45 is probably my average.

And you know what? I am HAPPY. I sleep like a baby now. I sit on the back patio and watch the sunrise - a LOT. I step outside and watch sunsets. I make plans months in advance to hang out with friends and stick to them.

Life is way too short. I think regret is one of the worst things to die with. I'm doing all I can to insure I have as little as possible. I can't recommended it enough.

Take time for you. Take time for family. Take time for friends. Don't leave things unsaid. When I tell my sister I love her she cries sometimes - which tells me I didn't say it enough before.

Choose to be happy above all else. Life is short.

[Tommy-G]

My deepest condolences for the loss of your cricket.

Growing up I had a best friends father who was about the same age, raced BMX, went to the gym daily and had a glass of red wine every night. He passed suddenly in his sleep with no warning, no underlying issues....nothing.

I am not very spiritual and not religious at all but I guess I have no choice to believe when its time, its time...remember the good times my online friend and cherish them in your heart forever

[Dino GT]

My condolences. I wouldn't say live your life like it's your last day everyday. I know a few people that did that ( vacation trips almost monthly, new cars yearly, etc, etc.) and now they are in their 60's retired in good health and can't even afford to get out of the house.
After my dad died in 2017 I also had a different perspective on life. But, what really changed me was after I had my heart attack in 2020, it made me see things a little different. We're only here for a short time so why not just have a good time and do things that make you happy. Don't let life's everyday little things bother you so much. Spend QUALITY time with family, friends, be gratefully for what you have, be nice to everyone and follow your dreams
I know I cannot control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond.

[cmyx6go]

So sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

[XutvJet]

Very sorry for your loss.

Life is such a fragile thing. My father-in-law died suddenly from a heart attack at 60 back in 2005. My father (70) died of complications from a rather common heart procedure 2013 and my grandmother (his mom) died two weeks after him due to a head injury from a fall.

Deaths of immediate family members and close friends change you, especially unexpected deaths. I'm not saying it's either bad or good, but it changes you. I'm 47 have feel like I've aged and hardened significantly over the past 15 years. I have little sympathy for people that make mountains out of mole hills when they haven't experienced real pain and suffering.

I'm all about living like today is your last day, but I caution people to not live by You Only Live Once (YOLO) and not plan for the future, especially money wise, because the odds are VERY MUCH in your favor that you'll be living well into at least your 70s. You best be prepared for the most likely outcome.

FYI - I took a 20% pay cut in August and only work 32 hours a week now because of work stress and being fulltime (40-60 hours a week) just wasn't worth it. I had to make some financial adjustments but it was worth it.

[flybigjet]

Based on some of the replies here, I guess I should qualify where I was going with the "live every day like it's your last" comment.

I *did* mean: Tell the people important to you that you love them, and that you're glad to be part of their lives. Be kind. Love your pets. Enjoy each day and don't sweat the small stuff. Try not to have too many regrets. Figure out that life's too short to go through it stressed, unhappy or angry. Be kind to yourself and others. Basically, be a good person.

I did *NOT* mean: Go massively in debt, buy things (cars, vacations, houses, etc.) that you can't afford, not save for the future, spend frivolously, treat those around or beneath you poorly or generally don't accept any curbs or restrictions on your behavior.

[rebekahb]

I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a little about your friend Cricket and the wise words.

It's really been eye opening how many people around us have passed away in the past month. Some chronic diseases and others suddenly. My heart breaks for the families that are enduring these losses around the holidays.

[NoMoreVauxhalls]

It’s very sad how suddenly life can come to an end. So very sorry for your loss – Cricket was obviously very well-loved.

I experienced something last week – no-one close to me – but sad and shocking nevertheless. I moved into a new place last year – been here 18 months. Directly opposite me is a guy who is my age (50-ish) who lives with his wife/partner and their young daughter. Partner is a bit younger than him, and daughter is five – she recently started school. We say “hello”, nod, etc. as we see each other, and have a little small talk about the weather, etc.

Last week – an ambulance turns up outside their house. Shortly after, another ambulance, and then a third one after that – with lots of activity back and forth. Something is obviously seriously wrong, there. Then a police car and, eventually, a private ambulance that wheels in a trolley, and wheels out dad in a body bag shortly thereafter. Totally shocking to see. We’ve sent condolences, but I can only imagine the devastation in that house right now – daughter must be heartbroken about not seeing her dad again. I have no idea how they’ll get through Christmas.

We don’t know the cause, and won’t ask either. We didn’t really know them, but seeing what happened last week really hurt my heart…

[Housekeeping]

Sorry for your loss. Why do you say it isn’t vaccine related? I had a very healthy male friend die at 52 recently, two days after getting the second dose, my neighbor, same thing at 47 after the vaccine but she did have an existing heart condition.

[flybigjet]

Originally Posted by Sy1616

Sorry for your loss. Why do you say it isn’t vaccine related? I had a very healthy male friend die at 52 recently, two days after getting the second dose, my neighbor, same thing at 47 after the vaccine but she did have an existing heart condition.

She was vaccinated in the spring of this year. No causality.

[fiveohwblow]

Condolences. Figured this out at 19 as I got called home from half way across the world, from what I thought was the greatest joy of my life to the darkest days, for the exact thing, only it was immediate family. You couldn’t be more correct. I only hope some learn this lesson sooner than midway through their time on this rock. Tomorrow, truly, isn’t promised to anyone.