[Ilac91]

I recently broke up with my fiance of 13 yrs. Yes a very long time. Anyways we split up because we grew apart from each other and felt that this was the right decision. Originally I wanted to stay in the relationship but she wanted to move out and wanted some time to think and maybe possibly start dating again. I guess I was heartbroken when this happened and felt that she was the only one for me and that I truly loved her. We now have been living apart for over 2 mths now and I now realize that our split has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I've met another girl and she has so many things that my ex never had. She's more outgoing, is smart, ambitious and knows what she wants out of life. My ex on the other hand was so dependent on me and annoyingly enough she still is. She actually still calls me to do things for her which I politely say NO. I basically have cut her off to give myself a chance for a fresh start and a new life. I can't say that our 13 yrs doesnt mean anything but I no longer have any feelings for her. I do wish her well though. Yesterday after going out with friends this girl tells me she really likes me but is afraid of being a rebound relationship. She's been through this and doesnt want to be hurt again. Deep inside I know that she isn't but I'm afraid what happens if she is. I really enjoy spending time with her and I've never been happier. Nonetheless I told her we should take our time as we are in no rush. After being out of the dating game for so long I feel like I'm in university all again but this time I know what I really want in a girl and relationship. I'm giving this relationship a chance because I see a lot of potential. Hope you guys think I'm doing the right thing.

My friends also made an interesting comment yesterday. Impression wise they said this girl was great and they only met her. They couldn't even say anything about my ex whom they knew her for 9 yrs. Obviously my ex was never a part of my life.

[ska///235i]

sorry about your breakup..13 yrs is kinda tough...longest I had was 4 yrs

[foofighter]

Ok, i've been where you have been 7 yrs dating and a few years engaged...and it sounds like you were dating my ex e.g. dependent etc. LOL

As for this new girl, i will go out on a limb and say that yes you are on the rebound no matter what you tell yourself...she is your rebound. My suggestion is to keep things extremely basic with her...dont be exclusive. Date, see what you've been missing for the past 13 yrs and if things are meant to be with you and this young lady you will be together after you've slooted yourself around.

My loving wife is my best friend, mother to my kids and totally knows my slooty past and i'm in a way glad that i did go through all that because i do appreciate what I have and am very thankful and grateful.

So a: date her but keep it open, be honest with her so that she doesnt end up being hurt AGAIN and carry that baggage onto the next poor soul
b: see other girls, if that requires you to be a sloot for a while so be it, just dont LIE be honest
c: lastly, which is important, take the time to be by yourself and do things that you wanted to do but couldnt.

Good luck

[Ilac91]

thanks for the advice and hence why I told her we need to take our time. I'm also using the time to do different things on my own as well. This girl is nowhere near a replacement for my ex and she's more of person in terms of quality than my ex will ever be.

[foofighter]

even more reason to be considerate of her feelings...you'll be fine

[ed328ci]

I would take it easy with the new girl. The whole "transition girl" thing.

Ed

[flush01]

damn 13 years... i can never breake 1 year