[NYCGarbagePrince]

I am in a really strange situation. Let me start from the beginning.

My sister had surgery on her face to remove basil cell carcinoma. She is only 27 and a very pretty girl. Obviously it was very upsetting for her and our family. But we got a great plastic surgeon and now you can barely see it. It is as if it never happened.

After the surgery she posted up a picture of herself on FB with the scar and a fist to the camera to show how she made it through and that she was tough. We were all very proud of how she handled it. She didn't let it get her down and like i said earlier looks great.

About 3 months ago, me and her went to a family friends house for a BBQ. There was about 7 of us and we did a lot of drinking and had a great time. She ended up hooking up with a friend of the friend and I ended up doing the same (Not the same person, obviously). Problem was, the sister of the guy who invited us was in love with the kid my sister hooked up with and no one knew.

I know this is all confusing but I am trying to do my best without using names. The sister of the guy who invited us ends up dating the guy my sister hooked up with.

We are invited to the 4th of July party they have every year. During the party, the new couple alienates my sister from the entire event and just all around makes her feel very left out. I tried my best to include her but she is relatively shy. She never really developed a think skin growing up and let a lot of people walk all over her. She was very upset after the party and it really bothered me. But i dealt with it.

The brother and sister are children of an extremely large client of mine. The son is being groomed to take over a very high position in the company. I remain very close tot he family for obvious reasons, besides the fact that they have always been very kind to me.

Now down to the real issue. I found a photobucket profile with the picture of my sister post-op. The username was "Frankenface_Whore" and the comment was, "Angry that your father named you after a trash can? I would be. At least youre living up to it." Now, not many people know the dynamic of my sisters name and the name of my company. Nor does she talk about it at all. The picture was on facebook and only her friends can view her pictures (based on her security settings). I did some digging and don't ask me how I found out, but it is his sister.

I am really upset about this. My sister is a very happy go lucky girl with few friends and no enemies. His sister has everything in the world and fancies herself a paris hilton wanna-be. I had the page removed before my sister could find out about it. What do I do from here? Her father and my father are best friends and I see his son at least once a week for dinner. They are very generous to us regarding new work.

Do I confront her, or do I keep my mouth shut? Do I talk to her brother? Knowing him he will defend her to the very end. As I would my sister. Now that I had the page removed, do i act like it never happened?

[JayKay335i]

Act like it never happened. Dont ruin a good business relationship. The sisters a twat. The brother either knows and just thinks its stupid or had something to do with it. But it sounds more like a bitchy girl move. No point in confronting him since hes not the one who epicly hates your sister. Your sister never needs to know. The girl will get over it.

*BCC= Basal Cell Carcinoma

The #1 most common carcinoma of the face.

[MontegoGoGoGo]

As a business owner myself, I would be pissed if one of my employees (relative or not) went and made a decision (that could lose a large client) without talking to me first.

Are the businesses owned by your father and their father? If so, it's not really your place to say or do anything. If it's your dad's company, even if you work for him, or are going to take it over some day, it's still his now, and he should handle things how he wants to. Did you tell him?

The whole thing sounds very immature.

It's hard to say. A lot of shallow people here would say, dude, that's money in your pocket, you'd be a dumbass to ever say anything.

But where do you draw the line? When do you become a punching bag whore who will put up with anything or do anything for the money?

[NYCGarbagePrince]

Yeah that was how I felt originally. It has been bothering the hell out of me. I mean I didn't think I would be having to deal with shit like this anymore. My sister is damn near 30, and I am still forced to deal with stupid people that try to hurt her in childish ways.

About BCC, I learned all about it after she was diagnosed. You would have never known she had it. She had perfect skin and rarely ever went in the sun. It was extremely deep too. She visited a dermatologist to have her skin mapped on recommendation of our physician and they saw something they were worried about. Nothing we could even see with the naked eye. But they tested it and low and behold BCC. Very scary time, I won't soon forget.

[NYCGarbagePrince]

Originally Posted by MontegoGoGoGo

As a business owner myself, I would be pissed if one of my employees (relative or not) went and made a decision (that could lose a large client) without talking to me first.

Are the businesses owned by your father and their father? If so, it's not really your place to say or do anything. If it's your dad's company, even if you work for him, or are going to take it over some day, it's still his now, and he should handle things how he wants to. Did you tell him?

The whole thing sounds very immature.

It's hard to say. A lot of shallow people here would say, dude, that's money in your pocket, you'd be a dumbass to ever say anything.

But where do you draw the line? When do you become a punching bag whore who will put up with anything or do anything for the money?

I haven't told anyone yet. I have kept it completely to myself. My father is 25% as active as he was 5 years ago. I know it just isn't worth it. But if I told him he would fucking lose it. You don't screw with an man's daughter. He has always been extremely protective of her.

[CIGARGUY]

I think I'd have to keep my mouth shut on that one. Sure, I'd want to lose it and blow up on her, or at least to her brother about it, but that may make the situation worse for your sister. If she doesn't know, she doesn't need to. If it's gone, it's gone. People who know you and your sister are going to think worse of the other people if they know who put the picture up. The business aspect aside, if your sister found out that the page ever even existed, it would probably devastate her. I'd just let it go, but not forget that you need to keep an eye on "Paris".

The only other option I see is to tell your father and let him have a conversation with her father, keeping your name out of it. That could be the smackdown you're looking for.

[MontegoGoGoGo]

P.S. - That is really shitty to think that someone would do that.

No matter what you decide, karma will find a way to handle it.

[Hawkeye]

That is a really tough decision. Really depends on how you think her brother/father would react. Would they be mad at her since you are a friend, or would they side with her and mess the relationship up just to try and protect the princess?

[OC Guy]

Blood is thicker than water. Money is not the end all.

Some of us have backbone and some do not. If it were my sister, I'd confront the guy. If he had any sense of right and wrong, he would acknowledge his sister is in the wrong. I could not do business with him if he did not feel this way.

TS - TBH I have seen a few posts from you that exhibit signs that you are pretty much a pushover.

[Feyd]

Originally Posted by OC 335i

TS - TBH I have seen a few posts from you that exhibit signs that you are pretty much a pushover.

Lets get out the measuring tapes!!!




OP, I'd just let it pass... People do/say stupid shit all the time, especially women who are constantly competing with one another over what amounts to be nothing.

I'm with Montego on the Karma distribution.

[e46e92love]

Its real simple for me, say something and stop associating with the girl who did it, even if she or her BF are kids of a business partner. Life is too short to associate with people like that, I would sell my cars, house, etc. if it meant having to do business with someone who had a problem with me not associating with a family member of theirs that was "cruel".

Life is too short, and my wife would rather give up the clothes on her back then compromise on right & wrong. My business partners know who I am and know the respect I afford EVERYONE around me. If a child of their did this, they would WOOP THEIR ASS, and would not tolerate it.

Doesn't matter how good her parents were to you, it doesn't excuse her behavior.

Cheers,
e46e92

[Kroy]

I would sit on this for a while. Carefully plan to casually mention this to the father or brother a few months from now. Let them know you didn't tell them because you know her actions in no way reflect on her brother/father and as a friend, you didn't want to strain their family relationship because of some emotional childish behavior. At the same time tell them you tried very hard to cover it all up so your sister doesn't find out since your sister is a gentle person and the news would devastate her emotionally.

It sounds like you're more than just business associates with this family and friends don't disrespect each other like this. I would also try to keep this from your sister, there's now reason to cause her undue frustration. It was just a petty blow, no more and there really is no need to dignify a response to that low blow.

Personally, I don't think your client's family would approve of the daughter's behavior but blood runs thicker than water, so you never know. Learning where your friendship stands is also good; at least you'll know the real status quo.

[Comet]

I'd keep it to myself
don't burn business bridges.
I never bring in my personal feelings when it comes to work.

but for sweet revenge, I'd do something to the sister like that as well. See how she likes it (if you have the time for it) Always skulking in the shadows for revenge.. that's the best way.. do it anonymously and in a bright way.
get some pictures of her or something

[boymonkey]

If you do talk to the brother or sister about it, I would talk to both of them together at the same time. This way the childish sister can't twist things and make you look like a bad guy to the brother, and it will be harder for her to lie.

On principle alone, I'd talk to them and resolve things, but I understand it is easier said than done given her family's power and influence.

There's only so much disrespect you can take in any relationship, whether it's business or not. How much are you willing to put up with?

[blueshark]

Ignore it for now. Really.

Emotions run deep, and that girl was mindless when she posted that. Furthermore, even though she may be part of your business associate's family, I think you have to accept the fact that many families have offensive members.

Now, there's also this whole FB thing. I empathize with your sister's situation, but of course you're putting yourself out there with FB, subject to these types of comments / attacks.

Don't do anything right now. Let a few days pass.

[fun ticket]

Like the others have said, let it go for now. You have done the right thing trying to protect your sister by getting the post removed, etc. Agreed on the karma comments.

Re the BCC, I had it done about 4 years ago on the side of my neck. I know its the "C" word but try and keep it in perspective......very high rate of success (like 99%+). Just maintain Dr. follow ups for checks and move on down the road of life....and use sunscreen

[ZJP]

Tough call.

I would wait it out a bit and see how things go, and then make your move. However, if something like this happens again in the future, DO NOT HESITATE to call her out on it.

No matter the type of business relationship you have with the family, you can't let people walk all over you and let them expect to get away with it.

[ABQ325i]

Obviously we do not know the full story, just your side. However there is no reason not to believe you. Out of curiosity how did you get the photo removed?

You can not let personal issues interfere with your business life, especially a large client. Things could get real ugly real quick. The brother and father do not know, if they did the photo would have already been removed. This is simply a very insecure girl jealous that her current boyfriend hooked up with your sister first, nothing else to it.

[grieverr]

I also agree to letting it go.
However, do not let these people own you. And certainly don't let them think they can do anything they want to you or your family just because you want their money.

[JoeyBananaz18]

that chick needs to get the shit slapped outta her. Fuckin twat. I'm in the healthcare field and work closely with people who have been through alot of shit, so i feel a connection to this story very much.

I like how everyone is worried about the guy loosing a client. Meanwhile you have this stupid bitch harassing his poor sister. God know what's she's feeling inside. For all you know, she could be on a downward spiral because of this cunt. So basically, you would all choose making a buck over helping your own family member...... i'm sorry..... not any 5th cousin or anything, but your own fuckin sister. Nice.

Honestly, if the fathers are really good friends have them deal with it (ASSUMING, that the other father has more common sense than his scumbag daughter.) Hopefully the other father would put himself in your dad's shoes, and understand where he's coming from. If he does something about it, you have a good reason to respect him. If not, i'm sure you're not going to end up living on the street if you loose him as a client.

[Kroy]

Originally Posted by JoeyBananaz18

that chick needs to get the shit slapped outta her. Fuckin twat. I'm in the healthcare field and work closely with people who have been through alot of shit, so i feel a connection to this story very much.

I like how everyone is worried about the guy loosing a client. Meanwhile you have this stupid bitch harassing his poor sister. God know what's she's feeling inside. For all you know, she could be on a downward spiral because of this cunt. So basically, you would all choose making a buck over helping your own family member...... i'm sorry..... not any 5th cousin or anything, but your own fuckin sister. Nice.

Honestly, if the fathers are really good friends have them deal with it (ASSUMING, that the other father has more common sense than his scumbag daughter.) Hopefully the other father would put himself in your dad's shoes, and understand where he's coming from. If he does something about it, you have a good reason to respect him. If not, i'm sure you're not going to end up living on the street if you loose him as a client.

While I share your sentiments, OP's sister doesn't know. OP already did damage control and removed the content. I think father to father is the best way to approach this. So long as OP thinks his father can keep under control, I think the years of friendship will help smooth things over.

[brocken]

I'm surprised somebody hasn't mentioned this solution... find a way to completely trash the other girl on FB without anybody knowing it's you...
If that's how she wants to go after your sis, payback is a bitch.
I know this is a really immature suggestion but I think doing nothing about it will eat at you.
I know if somebody came after one of my family members I'd find a clever way to turn it around against them.

heck, post the other girls FB up on 4chan and let them have at it...