Official jokes thread

dziqsek · 03-02-2011, 08:45 AM

Guys watta you think about that thread??

You can post here any jokes you like, funny, not funny, racist, sex ethnic etc.

I start - it's a Georgian joke i've heard at my friends wedding in Tibilisi :

Four Georgians argue , who's granfather was biggest ( Height)

- My grandpa was as tall as tree!
-My grandpa was as tall as a mountain!
-And my grandpa wass the tallest dude in a planet - he can touch the stars at the sky!!
- Are those stars was round?? - fourth georgian said ?
- Yea they were round!!
- Are the were warm in touch ??
- Hell yeah they were nice and warm!!
- They were not stars... These were my grandpa's balls...

( sorry for grammar )

NYCGP · 03-02-2011, 08:52 AM

BTM · 03-02-2011, 09:00 AM

How many polish people does it take to repost a topic?

One

dziqsek · 03-02-2011, 09:25 AM

Stop doing OT and post some jokes

NYCGP · 03-02-2011, 09:30 AM

There is a section for this.. it is called "Lighter side". There is a thread that is called Official jokes thread. You felt that you should make YOUR OWN thread in a section that has no interest in having an "Official Jokes Thread". Then you proclaimed it was okay to post racist jokes. GTFO.

BTM · 03-02-2011, 09:30 AM

http://www.e90post.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=86
http://www.e90post.com/forums/showth...ighlight=jokes
http://www.e90post.com/forums/showth...ighlight=jokes

FDfranklin · 03-02-2011, 09:31 AM

This thread is a joke itself.

Que Xzibit.

MadDog · 03-02-2011, 09:54 AM

This is not a joke:

Verbiage · 03-02-2011, 09:56 AM

You guys better watch out before you catch an infraction.

Augenbrauezug · 03-02-2011, 10:02 AM

Polish jokes are fuckin weird.

TK-421 · 03-02-2011, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Augenbrauezug

Polish people are fuckin weird.

*fixed

dziqsek · 03-02-2011, 05:26 PM

It was Georgian ( yes there is such a country just lear Geography) not a polish joke , if you want to understand some polish joke - sorry i think you can't but i wont wrote why cause i dont want to get banned for bad language or being some nationalist hater like some of you guys

stylinexpat · 03-03-2011, 05:19 AM

DougLikesBMW · 03-03-2011, 06:13 AM

^wtf is that a tranny? fucking amazing body but that voice, nightmares

dziqsek · 03-03-2011, 06:14 AM

Haaaahaha that was good

What language is that ? Spanish ?

btw.

why we should learn english ???

old but still makes me LOL

stylinexpat · 05-09-2011, 06:41 AM

Plastic Surgeon

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

stylinexpat · 05-09-2011, 06:52 AM

Prostitute Parrots

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

"Thank you!" the woman responded.

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

03-02-2011, 08:45 AM	#1
dziqsek Banned 90 Rep 111 Posts Drives: 2008 E91 320d Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: JG, Poland iTrader: (0)	Official jokes thread Guys watta you think about that thread?? You can post here any jokes you like, funny, not funny, racist, sex ethnic etc. I start - it's a Georgian joke i've heard at my friends wedding in Tibilisi : Four Georgians argue , who's granfather was biggest ( Height) - My grandpa was as tall as tree! -My grandpa was as tall as a mountain! -And my grandpa wass the tallest dude in a planet - he can touch the stars at the sky!! - Are those stars was round?? - fourth georgian said ? - Yea they were round!! - Are the were warm in touch ?? - Hell yeah they were nice and warm!! - They were not stars... These were my grandpa's balls... ( sorry for grammar )
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03-02-2011, 08:52 AM	#2
NYCGP WTF are you looking at? 257 Rep 1,560 Posts Drives: Bandwagon Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Jungle iTrader: (0)	__________________ "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." -André Gide
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03-02-2011, 09:00 AM	#3
BTM Banned 501 Rep 10,309 Posts Drives: A///MERICAN!!! Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: A///MERICA!!! iTrader: (11) Garage List 2007 BMW Z4 M Coupe [7.20]	How many polish people does it take to repost a topic? One
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03-02-2011, 09:25 AM	#4
dziqsek Banned 90 Rep 111 Posts Drives: 2008 E91 320d Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: JG, Poland iTrader: (0)	Stop doing OT and post some jokes
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03-02-2011, 09:30 AM	#5
NYCGP WTF are you looking at? 257 Rep 1,560 Posts Drives: Bandwagon Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Jungle iTrader: (0)	There is a section for this.. it is called "Lighter side". There is a thread that is called Official jokes thread. You felt that you should make YOUR OWN thread in a section that has no interest in having an "Official Jokes Thread". Then you proclaimed it was okay to post racist jokes. GTFO. __________________ "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." -André Gide
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03-02-2011, 09:31 AM	#7
FDfranklin d[-_-]b 500 Rep 968 Posts Drives: Ordered: 2023 G80 M3 6MT Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Tampa, Fl iTrader: (1)	This thread is a joke itself. Que Xzibit.
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03-02-2011, 09:54 AM	#8
MadDog Careful, I Bite..... 157 Rep 504 Posts Drives: 2006 325i Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: S.F. Bay Area iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 325i [7.50]	This is not a joke: Attached Images
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03-02-2011, 09:56 AM	#9
Verbiage Dismembered Member 3650 Rep 9,213 Posts Drives: F80 ZCP 6MT, R55 Clubman S 6MT Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: DMV iTrader: (6)	You guys better watch out before you catch an infraction. __________________ My delivery experience and beach photoshoot here.
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03-02-2011, 05:26 PM	#12
dziqsek Banned 90 Rep 111 Posts Drives: 2008 E91 320d Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: JG, Poland iTrader: (0)	It was Georgian ( yes there is such a country just lear Geography) not a polish joke , if you want to understand some polish joke - sorry i think you can't but i wont wrote why cause i dont want to get banned for bad language or being some nationalist hater like some of you guys
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03-03-2011, 05:19 AM	#13
stylinexpat Major 432 Rep 1,427 Posts Drives: Join Date: Aug 2008 iTrader: (0)
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03-03-2011, 06:13 AM	#14
DougLikesBMW Fapmin 439 Rep 2,660 Posts Drives: '03 E46 330Ci Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Plano, Texas iTrader: (0)	^wtf is that a tranny? fucking amazing body but that voice, nightmares
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03-03-2011, 06:14 AM	#15
dziqsek Banned 90 Rep 111 Posts Drives: 2008 E91 320d Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: JG, Poland iTrader: (0)	Haaaahaha that was good What language is that ? Spanish ? btw. why we should learn english ??? old but still makes me LOL
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05-09-2011, 06:41 AM	#16
stylinexpat Major 432 Rep 1,427 Posts Drives: Join Date: Aug 2008 iTrader: (0)	Plastic Surgeon A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!" The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself." "The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago." "And what about the third rose?" she asked. "That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."
	Appreciate 0 Quote

05-09-2011, 06:52 AM	#17
stylinexpat Major 432 Rep 1,427 Posts Drives: Join Date: Aug 2008 iTrader: (0)	Prostitute Parrots A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'" "That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." "Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"
	Appreciate 0 Quote