BMW
X1 / X2
forum
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts
BIMMERPOST Universal Forums Off-Topic Discussions Board Best/Funniest Facebook status thread

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      04-19-2011, 10:50 PM   #1
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

Best/Funniest Facebook status thread

I have made a few in the past that I find pretty funny, wanted to see what everyone else has seen.

Iron Man is a super hero, Iron Woman is a command.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

Thank you Bruce Almighty, for helping me remember how to spell b-e-a-utiful

Women think having a baby is hard, trying playing Call of Duty with a lagging connection

Someone call Kanye and tell him to interrupt the middle east revolution so our gas prices will go back down

Fat girls comment on this status, so I can delete you easier
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 10:52 PM   #2
BMW F22
Major General
BMW F22's Avatar
United_States
3668
Rep
9,783
Posts

Drives: ///M235i
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bay Area

iTrader: (8)

Lol!!
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 10:58 PM   #3
GregTheStig
derp
GregTheStig's Avatar
Armenia
51
Rep
1,203
Posts

Drives: a Tuk Tuk
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (1)

-"If you got tourette problems i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems but a twitch aint one"

This is what happens when my friend's accounts get hacked....

-"god masterbating with these tweezers sux, especially while i stroke my nipple"

-"My name is **** and I love touching little boys."

-"is fucking in the back seat of a car."

-"ugh, mexican food really does not agree with me :/ looks like another long night shitting in the bathroom..." (I think it was hacked)

I've also seen a hundred statuses that say something like "I'm gay". NEVER leave your Facebook accounts unattended!!
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:03 PM   #4
BTM
Banned
United_States
501
Rep
10,309
Posts

Drives: A///MERICAN!!!
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: A///MERICA!!!

iTrader: (11)

Garage List
You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:10 PM   #5
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
you caught me, I have no friends and was disappointed with the lack of "likes" and comments on the ones I did, and wanted more people to recognize me so I posted here

do you really have to hate everything

Not a big fan of fb, and there are 2 types of posters. Motivational quote posters, people who post their entire lives. I like to post the occasional funny because I dont like sharing my personal life with everyone, and motivational quotes are retarded
__________________

Last edited by CollinsE90; 04-19-2011 at 11:18 PM..
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:20 PM   #6
SchlauCow
******
SchlauCow's Avatar
149
Rep
337
Posts

Drives: Honda M6
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Radiance

iTrader: (4)

"someone said i look like 50 cent, but i think im a million dollars"
__________________
You will never be as complex as the strand of hair sitting on top of your head.
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:26 PM   #7
ghosthi32
Banned
39
Rep
2,504
Posts

Drives: Water camel
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: strait of hormuz

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BTM View Post
You don't get enough attention on FB and have to post this here?

BTM hates everything
no worries i give him shit on there too
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:37 PM   #8
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

OK, so apparently its "rude" to make "whoosh" sounds when an asian person hands you something. I honestly thought they would appreciate the Ninja sound effects.

So a homophobe, a rapist, and a black guy walk into a bar, and everyone's like "Can I have your autograph, Kobe?"

"Women can fake orgasms, but Men can fake entire relationships"
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:42 PM   #9
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Lieutenant
United_States
114
Rep
465
Posts

Drives: 1
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: 2

iTrader: (0)

I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:44 PM   #10
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ferrari355fi View Post
I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-19-2011, 11:59 PM   #11
onesuperboi
Major
onesuperboi's Avatar
United_States
53
Rep
1,357
Posts

Drives: '08 e92 335i COBB 4.01 Stage 1
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA (Alameda)

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CollinsE90 View Post
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
LOL!
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:01 AM   #12
VenomBMW
Banned
United_States
25
Rep
63
Posts

Drives: 128i Convertible
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: In a house

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CollinsE90 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferrari355fi View Post
I think my favorite one I wrote was:

Obama is now president. Race card is off the table, bitches. Time to get a job Jesse Jackson.
that just reminded me of one

"The only positive thing Cash for Clunkers provided, was it got rid of 80% of Obama '08 bumper stickers"
This.
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:08 AM   #13
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

if cats always land on their feet and toast always lands jelly side down, then a cats feet glued to jellyside toast will hover in quantum indecision.

If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, im just going to surround my house with outward facing treadmills. I should be fine.

Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:10 AM   #14
CrazyJoe
Banned
CrazyJoe's Avatar
1
Rep
107
Posts

Drives: E92
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Jersey/NY

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchlauCow View Post
"someone said i look like 50 cent, but i think im a million dollars"
lmao
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:10 AM   #15
FlashBimmer9er
2009 Alpine White/Coral Red leather 128i
United_States
20
Rep
265
Posts

Drives: AW/Coral Red leather 2009 128i
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Miami, Fl

iTrader: (2)

So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:19 AM   #16
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Lieutenant
United_States
114
Rep
465
Posts

Drives: 1
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: 2

iTrader: (0)

Dear HIV/AIDS, Congratulations. You have a new African country to add to your infection list. Welcome South Sudan.
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:26 AM   #17
bmwmthree
Captain
bmwmthree's Avatar
126
Rep
695
Posts

Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: so cal

iTrader: (8)

Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
the fuck kinda status is this??
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvMyRide View Post
And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:49 AM   #18
FlashBimmer9er
2009 Alpine White/Coral Red leather 128i
United_States
20
Rep
265
Posts

Drives: AW/Coral Red leather 2009 128i
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Miami, Fl

iTrader: (2)

Damn, bad trip. I guess theres my welcome to OT.. Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmwmthree View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
So I'm just a looker on this discussion board, but I fucking love OT and all of you that participate in it. Literally make my days go that much faster and makes them alot more enjoyable. Fucking awesome I'll join the mix sooner or later
the fuck kinda status is this??
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:53 AM   #19
TK-421
Registered Sex Offender
United_States
613
Rep
4,757
Posts

Drives: E46 M3 | 1JZ S13
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Tampa, FL

iTrader: (0)

which status so far will get me the most likes?
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 12:55 AM   #20
CollinsE90
Where my bitches
CollinsE90's Avatar
United_States
795
Rep
1,924
Posts

Drives: Cadillac coupe deville
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: street corner checking profits

iTrader: (0)

"Today I realized if you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a women who learns her place"

Do real army rangers get pissed when their bros are campers?
__________________
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 01:44 AM   #21
bmwmthree
Captain
bmwmthree's Avatar
126
Rep
695
Posts

Drives: bmw
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: so cal

iTrader: (8)

Quote:
Originally Posted by flashprats128i View Post
Damn, bad trip. I guess theres my welcome to OT.. Lol
lol woops, welcome. enjoy your stay.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvMyRide View Post
And BMWM3 ..I will be filing a harrasment suit against you and/or charges. See you in court very very soon. Thanks.. Have fun with your nonsense.
Appreciate 0
      04-20-2011, 02:32 AM   #22
Vanity
Private First Class
Vanity's Avatar
Canada
281
Rep
123
Posts

Drives: BMW E90 LCI
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: BC, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Not too long ago I went on my buddy's FB and changed everything on there. One of the funniest things I did was change his religion to:

Religion: Dick Worship
Description: Because I love to worship the most powerful thing in the Universe.


__________________
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
bav is completely hetero, blake = cocky faagg, brey = ghey?, btm h8 everthng, btm hate erythang, btm hates everything, btm hates everything?, collins "likes" this, collins = all reposts, collins = whiny bitch, collins = worst threads, come at me bros, i <3 ot/bav, lol tags, mr ot = worst poster, my balls and tits hurt, nikthropolis = wenis, persiangetsboyson fb, persianstalksonfb, stupid thread, tk421=commprobs, worst thread, you lost the game


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:55 AM.




u11
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST