BMW
X1 / X2
forum
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts
BIMMERPOST Universal Forums Off-Topic Discussions Board Serious question: did my M3 lead me to an affair?

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      08-11-2011, 11:43 PM   #1
rainNed
Guest
0
Rep
n/a
Posts

Drives:


Serious question: did my M3 lead me to an affair?

I am a long time member of this forum. This is obviously not my established account. I don't want to reveal who I am.

I don't (can't) reveal the circumstances, but recently I have become friends with a female who probably became interested in me due in large part to my car. That's a shallow reason to be attracted to someone, no doubt. There is a lot more to the story, but I don't feel like I can tell it right now.

But, this post isn't really about that. This post is actually a full-on cry for help. I am a married man. A happily married man, in fact. But no marriage is perfect. And this girl and I have become attached, obsessed and frankly, entrenched. The only thing keeping me from stepping out on my wife is me. This woman is ready to take things to the next level - to whatever level we can imagine. I am fighting every ounce of my fucking will power to keep this from becoming a huge mistake and a huge bucket of regret.

What the hell do I do? Can someone please talk some sense into me? Oh and before someone says it, yes she is hot and no I can't post pics, sorry.
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:46 PM   #2
persian54
Lieutenant General
persian54's Avatar
United_States
978
Rep
15,816
Posts

Drives: M760/G83M4
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Valley, SoCal

iTrader: (298)

How old are you, how old is she, how old is your wife, how long have you been married, any kids?

and why isn't this in OT.

And if she likes you for a shallow reason, why would you leave your wife for her?

Take this from a guy who was in a similar situation, except replace marriage with relationship. So not as serious
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:47 PM   #3
mmm def
Colonel
mmm def's Avatar
147
Rep
2,611
Posts

Drives: 21 330, 19 ND2 RF, 11 RX350
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: NJ

iTrader: (0)

How would you feel if she cheated on you?
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:47 PM   #4
theriz
Brigadier General
United_States
408
Rep
3,583
Posts

Drives: 2017 M3
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Ventura County, CA

iTrader: (2)

Garage List
2017 F80 M3  [0.00]
2011 335i M-Sport  [4.00]
2015 M3  [0.00]
2009 X5  [10.00]
I have no clue.
Goodluck.

and...
__________________
2017 F80 YMB, ZCP, ZEC, ZLP, DCT. Production Date: 7/15/16
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:50 PM   #5
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11822
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

a little iffy getting that type of advice here. we are all a little crazy! i have had similar things occur in my life recently and never considered seeking advice here.
__________________

02 Tiag e46 M3|6MT|GC plates|MCS c.o.|GC bars|GC race control arms|GC bushings|BW eng. & tran. mounts|subframe kit|BW race shifter|BW Jaffster|Euro header|BW exhaust|K&N c.a.i.|Epic race tune|Rouge pulleys|Seibon CF hood|CSL bumper|apr gt 250 & splitter|ST-40|XR-2|SS lines|half cage|Recaro profi|Profi 2 harness|BMWpedals|BW studs|
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:58 PM   #6
Lorde
Ya ya ya, I am Lorde, ya ya!
Lorde's Avatar
No_Country
267
Rep
2,771
Posts

Drives: E90 M3, 2015 SQ5
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Snig

iTrader: (10)

Garage List
2008 BMW M3 E90  [0.00]
Yikes. Don't give up a good thing for some gold digger. You married your wife for a reason. Ultimately, be fair and honest to both her and yourself.
Appreciate 0
      08-11-2011, 11:59 PM   #7
midwest 340xi 6sp
Lieutenant Colonel
midwest 340xi 6sp's Avatar
United_States
369
Rep
1,797
Posts

Drives: 2018 340xi
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Great Midwest

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by theriz View Post
I have no clue.
Goodluck.

and...
__________________
Previous Rides: 535xi, M235xi, X3, E92 M3, E70 X5 35d, X6 50i, X6 35i, E60 550i, E46 M3 Cabriolet, E39 540i, E36 328i
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:06 AM   #8
SECRET M
Engineer
SECRET M's Avatar
38
Rep
276
Posts

Drives: N/A
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern California

iTrader: (1)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snig View Post
Yikes. Don't give up a good thing for some gold digger. You married your wife for a reason. Ultimately, be fair and honest to both her and yourself.
well said!

OP: given what you've said, it sounds like your completely infatuated. however, infatuation is FAR from a legitimate reason to be doubting your marriage.

i suggest you stop seeing this person and start thinking about what it is about your relationship with your wife that is unsatisfying and what you feel is missing. most of the time it is things that you can affect (spontaneity, excitement, uncertainty, etc).

come on man. MAN the f* up and get your life back together.
__________________
[Sold] 2008 BMW ///M3 :: Space Gray|Black
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:09 AM   #9
-=Hot|Ice=-
Been There, Done That.
-=Hot|Ice=-'s Avatar
United_States
706
Rep
4,728
Posts

Drives: 2013 BMW M3
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Maryland

iTrader: (0)

Serious question, Why the hell are you blaming an affair on your car?

Last edited by -=Hot|Ice=-; 08-12-2011 at 12:19 AM..
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:09 AM   #10
wisesoul
Savoir Faire
wisesoul's Avatar
Philippines
83
Rep
1,772
Posts

Drives: 2013 BMW M5
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Los Angeles, Ca

iTrader: (0)

__________________
Current: Alpine White F10 M5|H&R springs|12mm/10mm spacers|Eisenmann Race
Sold:Imola Yellow RS4-KW V3|MTM 10mm spacers|Hotchkis rear sway bar|APR Stage 1|Milltek Catless|RNS-E|Euro RS4 Flat bottom Steering Wheel
Sold:E46 323i
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:11 AM   #11
kmarei
Major General
kmarei's Avatar
Egypt
761
Rep
6,885
Posts

Drives: 2014 BMW 435i X-drive
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Reston, VA

iTrader: (34)

Garage List
2018 Audi RS5  [0.00]
What happens when you sell you car?
Will she then dump you?
you wife loved you pre M3 and shell probably love you without it
( unless you go and get a 1M or something)

Still..
This is a nice change from the 6MT vs DCT threads
Why can't you post pics?
Send the pics to one of us an we'll post them
__________________
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:12 AM   #12
eamon
Captain
eamon's Avatar
173
Rep
803
Posts

Drives: 09 e92 335i, 2010 328i (sold)
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Dallas

iTrader: (0)

Maybe if someone kicks your ass, you'll get your sense back.
3 good quotes in here,
How would you feel if she cheated on you?
And if she likes you for a shallow reason why would you leave your wife for her.
If this is something you want, be fair to her and yourself
__________________
black/black/black e92 loaded
Instagram: _eamon_
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:15 AM   #13
Moneyman
Registered
0
Rep
1
Posts

Drives: Sexy..
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: At the bank

iTrader: (0)

I went through same thing about 7 months ago.

At that moment I felt like couldn't decide what to do, and either decision I would break someones heart.

Long story short, I made the right decision.

I told the girl no thanks and lived my life in no regret.

Don't ruin ur life, it's not worth it
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:16 AM   #14
e1000
that's what SHE said!
75
Rep
1,163
Posts

Drives: 2011 E92 M3 ZCP
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: OC

iTrader: (1)

DON'T DO IT.
__________________
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:18 AM   #15
BMW Fanatic
Banned
Canada
147
Rep
3,289
Posts

Drives: slow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calgary

iTrader: (11)

Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:18 AM   #16
BMW Fanatic
Banned
Canada
147
Rep
3,289
Posts

Drives: slow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calgary

iTrader: (11)

*Honestly I'd post some more information because this is really vague right now, also everyone's human at the end of the day if the guy needs help let's try to help
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:21 AM   #17
avex8
Major
avex8's Avatar
331
Rep
1,336
Posts

Drives: 11 E92 m3, 15 F80 M3, GLC 63
Join Date: May 2011
Location: San Diego

iTrader: (3)

I'll take her off your hand and save you the trouble I am single and i like to play around with chicks ha
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:21 AM   #18
kouhii
Private
2
Rep
77
Posts

Drives: 09 E90M3DCT
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Silicon Valley

iTrader: (0)

Just remember, she likes your car/money; NOT YOU!
Your wife likes you for you!!!
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:23 AM   #19
HeartMD
Captain
HeartMD's Avatar
United_States
49
Rep
656
Posts

Drives: 2011.75 MW,ZCP E92
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CT

iTrader: (0)

[QUOTE=SECRET M;10209063]well said!

OP: given what you've said, it sounds like your completely infatuated. however, infatuation is FAR from a legitimate reason to be doubting your marriage.

i suggest you stop seeing this person and start thinking about what it is about your relationship with your wife that is unsatisfying and what you feel is missing. most of the time it is things that you can affect (spontaneity, excitement, uncertainty, etc).


Very well said! OP if you are married to a good woman, who takes care of you and is a good mother (if you have children) Dont do it. Im sure many of us including myself have been in a similar situation in our lives. Most of the time its just the need for change. After years of marriage life becomes routine, you get up, go to work, go to the gym or supermarket (what ever your thing is) then come home, have dinner, tuck the kids in, watch tv and make love or dont make love to your wife, then off to sleep. Rinse and repeat the next day. Meeting someone new is like a spark, its something new, an adventure. You might feel like you need it ( and in some cases one might) but let me tell you. Its not worth it!! That person might also be looking for the same. Once you screw for the first time, that too will become routine. before you know it time goes by and you are back to square one, now with a different person. You married your wife for a reason. Remember that. IF she is still treating you well, then fight hard man. Its not easy to find a good woman who can make a home with you, but its easy to find a woman that will reck the home you already have. You are in a tough position, but take if from a married dude with two kids, who was in a similar place as you.
At the end of the day, if you really feel the need to cheat, just go to the bathroom, rub a nut out, and then your REAL head will think logically and not just in the passion you might feel for this new chick
Just my 2 cents
Joe
__________________
2011.75 E92 MW/BB extended,ZCP,ZP2,ZCV, IPOD,BMW APPS, Heatedseats,6MT, Edition Black Chrome Grills & Side Gills, CF splitters, CF performance spoiler, CF mirror caps, Turner black anodized pedals, Akropovic Evolution exhaust w/CF tips, Still Undecided on tune, AFE Pro5r, AFE intake scoops, LUX H8
2009 E92 JB/Black 335 xdrive (retired)
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:23 AM   #20
Abe_Froman
Private
1
Rep
69
Posts

Drives: 2011 M3
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 'Sconsin

iTrader: (0)

Well... since you asked....

There is nothing wrong with ending a marriage if you are unhappy or think you could be happier (your kids will be fine, don't stay in a marriage you don't want because of that). Since you imply that you are still happy (i.e.- your wife did not gain 50 pounds and you no longer want to bang her, etc.), you just come across as a cheating douche bag. You are hardly alone in that, but that's no excuse. Either leave your wife for the new girl or stay with her and be faithful... that's your call... but cheating is about the lowest thing you can do.
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:24 AM   #21
NYCMCBM3
Colonel
NYCMCBM3's Avatar
No_Country
169
Rep
2,706
Posts

Drives: 2012 MCB E92 M3
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: South Ozone Park,NY

iTrader: (13)

if your happily married then don't cheat
__________________
2012 MCB///M3
Appreciate 0
      08-12-2011, 12:24 AM   #22
1MOREMOD
-
1MOREMOD's Avatar
United_States
11822
Rep
23,186
Posts

Drives: Race car->
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: check your mirrors

iTrader: (5)

maybe raiNed is a troll dropping bombs on here?
__________________

02 Tiag e46 M3|6MT|GC plates|MCS c.o.|GC bars|GC race control arms|GC bushings|BW eng. & tran. mounts|subframe kit|BW race shifter|BW Jaffster|Euro header|BW exhaust|K&N c.a.i.|Epic race tune|Rouge pulleys|Seibon CF hood|CSL bumper|apr gt 250 & splitter|ST-40|XR-2|SS lines|half cage|Recaro profi|Profi 2 harness|BMWpedals|BW studs|
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:55 PM.




u11
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST